I’m not really happy with D*n K*lb as a nickname. Here are some other options:
Dan “No K” Olb
The Hurler That Made Milwaukee Shame Us
Dan Dan The Blown Save Man
Reardon II: Electric Walkaloo
Doom Doom Danny
I vote for “The Hurler That Made Milwaukee Shame Us.” It’s enough to make you cry in your beer.
How about Dank Hole (the place saves go to die)
I just like ” The can opener ” since he seams to open a can of whoop ass on us everytime he is on the mound.
Maybe Danny KolBB for his walk tendencies.
Dan Dan the no save man is very catchy.
Klobber D out of the ones you posted. I personally call him Gas Can because he throws gas on the fire.
Why not follow modern nicknaming trends and go with “D-Kolb” or “D-Kizzle”? Aren’t those catchy?
Just kidding. I think all of the ones you suggested were great, especially The Hurler That Made Milwaukee Shame Us. I think Schuerholtz should wear a shirt that says, “I traded our top pitching prospect and all I got was this lousy shirt (after I gave Kolb his unconditional release)”. Anyone else think so? Heh.
Howabout “Suzy”, in reference to Suzy Kolber. It’s kind of like the Jim/Kris Everett think on Jim Rome. It’s quite sexist and politically incorrect, but it would allow for the following to happen:
When(if) Danny rebounds later in the year to save a big game someone can write, “I want to kiss you.”
I personally enjoyed “Milwaukee’s Worst,” partially because every time I watch him pitch it makes me violently ill, which outcome I associate closely with the Beast, as we used to call it…
so how long before Chris Reitsma is the closer?
Mac you truly are a comedic genius: I would vote for ‘The Hurler That Made Milwaukee Shame Us.’ It has a whole Japanese lost-in-translation feel, similar to how they call Santa Claus, Annual Gift Man who live on the Moon.
Is that one nickname a twist on the old joke with the punchline, “That’s the beer that made Mel Famey walk us”?
Reardon II: Electric Walkaloo. At least the memories of Ozone and Turbo can ease the pain that is our current (C)loser.
Kevin, I’ll admit I had that joke in mind, but both are takeoffs on an old ad slogan for Schlitz.
I like Kevin’s “the can-opener”, although “Milwaukee’s Worst” isn’t bad either.
I stated my preference above, but I have to admit that “KolBB” has a nice ring to it.
Rather, “KolBB” has a nice look to it.
Can’t call him Suzy because I don’t want to think of Dan Kolb when I see Suzy Kolber.
Similar to Dan “no K” Olb would be simply “Dan olb”
Related question: given Smoltz’s status as both the dean of the Braves and the victim of most of Kolb’s attrocities, do you think that a moment goes by in that clubhouse when Smoltzie isn’t ordering Kolb around? “Get me some sunflower seeds, dickweed.” “Get me a soda you effing arsonist.” That kind of thing.
Listening to the game, the Braves are crushing Glavine again–back to back home runs in the fifth by PEREZ and BETEMIT, for god’s sake. What’s going on here? I don’t think Tom should pitch against the Braves.
Yeah, who would have predicted any game this year in which Eddie and Wilson would go back-to-back?
Reardon II: Electric Walkaloo. I’m not worthy.
Betemit entered the game 1-10 on the season. He’s now 3-12, .250. (And his OBP is .500.) The double was his first career XBH, then followed up with his first career homer. I still think he’s got the bat to make it, just a shame about his defense.
I’m guessing the ball is carrying today. Hampton can’t afford to allow homers, especially to lefthanded hitters.
This is one of the most encouraging offensive performances i have seen from the braves all season. With no chipper in the line upwe’re pounding out hits and esp XBH. Adnruw has 3 hits (although he should have gone the other way with the broken bat single) and beteit has a couple XBH one the day too. Very encouraging to see that bats swinging even if the win is blowing out.
Jordan batting 3rd again today – I think it would be better if we let Hampton hit 3rd and stick Brian in the 9 hole.
Actually, it would be neat if Kolb changed his intro music to Jerry Lee Lewis’ What Made Milwaulkee Famous (Has Made A Loser Out Of Me)
Kolby Cheddar – the finest Wisconsin cheese available to hitters
I like Damn KolBB or Damn it’s KolBB
Sosa isn’t looking so good today – 2 walks and a hit, 3 batters faced, no outs. Not a save situation yet…
I like Damn it Kolb, myself.
Reitsma comes through again!
How about a combination of two funny ones I have seen? Make it Damn KolBB…any takers?
Raoul, you beat me to it. I should refresh the page while I’m reading it.
Based on his performance, or lack thereof, so far, Damn KolBB seems very appropriate.
DK. Protocol talk for “don’t know message”. e.g. – Reject.
Kolb comes set, and delivers… DK’d up the middle.
Doom Doom Danny’s the easiest to say. Or Reardon2
I like Firestarter 🙂
He could have the Prodigy song play when he enters the game!
Not a nickname, but perhaps his obituary will one day read … “Dan Kolb, whom the Atlanta Braves gave up Jose Capellan to get, …”
I like Klobber D. A lot. It makes me laugh uncontrollably.
I just hope his obituary doesn’t read, “Dan Kolb, Atlanta Braves pitcher, died tonight of injuries sustained when Albert Pujols hit a line drive off his face.”
On a related note, you know how folks in the stands will go out of their way to prove their dorkiness by creating a insider’s-club atmosphere based on a pun around a certain player’s name? I’m sure initially this was clever- what with the “Wolf Pack” for Randy Wolf and “Sheff’s Chefs” for Gary Sheffield. But as with most things, it’s now tedious- wasn’t there a sighting of “Mondesi’s Blondies” in the RF stands? Mondesi’s Blondies? You’ve gotta be kidding me.
Well, I’m going to the ballgame on Saturday, looks like, and I was thinking of brandishing a sign for ol’ Klobber D. What should it say?
The only thing I can come up with is “Kolb’s Mold”. On the plus side, “Kolb’s Mold” is streamlined at four letters and one syllable for each word, and it sorta rhymes. I think you’re supposed to rhyme with these things, or at least try to. But on the negative side, it sucks.
(Oh, I remember another one: Remember “Mesa’s Faces” for Jose Mesa? It’s best that you don’t, actually…sorry I brought it up.)
Anyways, any suggestions better than “Kolb’s Mold” for my “clever little in-club in the stands supporting a particular player so I can get on TV” will be greatly appreciated.
I vote for ‘Reardon II: Electric Walkaboo’.
I also like: Kolb Pizza. I mean…bad show, bad closer, why not?
By the way…when it was obvious that Hampton was only going 7 innings, Ok, he was tired…but why didn’t Bobby still let Hampton (hitting .330) have his at bat at the bottom of the 7th, only to have the awful Ryan Langerhans pinch hit for him? Hampton is the one pitcher you DON’T need a pinch hitter for. Frankly, Hampton should be pinch for half our lineup each night and I am not remotely kidding.
Damn dudes, just call him OLD MILWAUKEE!
Mac, just checked the schedule on ESPN, it will be a nine-game homestead against the Cardinals, Marlins and Astros.
In respect of Reitsma, I can see he is more confident in his fastball instead of relying heavily on his changeups. I can see he is changing speed of his pitches more effectively.
I agree with you kc, Reitsma’s curveball and hard sinker are fooling hitters right now. Strange that our best relief could come from Reitsma and Bernero, but it has…
Also, the TBS schedule has Smoltz going after Thomson. Was that a mistake or is Ramirez getting skipped with the off-day?
Alex, Langerhans drew a walk. He’s a pretty good hitter.
If he starts pitching well we can call him “olbie dan kanolbie” Until then, I think “Danny, no fanny” could work.
Old Milwaukee.. hehe..that leads me too
“Unleash the Beast”
I drank enough of this swill in college to kill a small european country.
Dank Lob is my fave.
I like to change the spelling around a little and call him Klober
As in the old song..
I’m walking over.. (on) a four-ball Klober… that I’ve always walked before?
Sorry.. stretching a little too much there 🙁
Reardon II: Electric Walkaloo