Washington 6, Braves WAIT, WHAT?!

A few quick notes before we get deep into this thing. First, I am currently on the road for work. Specifically, I am in visiting my company’s home offices in Boston this week. So, ya know? You want a recap of the Red Sox or Yankees games, both of which were showing on side-by-side screens at the bar last night, I’m totally our guy! You want a recap of this Braves team’s offense somehow muscling up for double digit runs for the second time in five games?! Dudes. Lady-dudes. I got nothing.

I mean, so far this season, both of Ender Inciarte and Ozzie Albies have been horrible. Freddie Freeman has seen all of 6 actual quality pitches to hit with Neck Paddycakes hitting behind him. Dansbo is putting up a pedestrian 727 OPS, which only seems good because of how terrible he was last year. And the starting pitching has sucked hard enough to pull golf balls through a water hose. And yet, still…

Freddie has crushed every single one of those six pitches, and has patiently walked otherwise. He’s OPS’ing over 1500 regardless, because, sure. Why not. Obviously that’s helped by Paddycakes himself popping a 1000+ literally out of no where, and Preston Tucker… I mean, PRESTON TUCKER is hitting 421/421/684. RYAN FLAHERTY is hitting 474/545/632.

It won’t last, of course. This is so many clear cases of Small Sample Size Theater it’s not even funny. Except, you know. It’s totally funny! These things happen. It’s nice to have it happen in our favor for a change. Wins count all season long even if they’re riding the Tucker-Flaherty Express.

And hell, who knows? Random slap hitting defensive infielders showing up and magically crushing the ball out of nowhere might stick! It’s happened before!

Anyway. Last night, from what I can tell via the online play by play recap, Julio was horrib-terrib-horrific-a-bad. Again. Did that Julio thing where he got slapped around SunTrust like a red headed stepchild. Domestic violence is funny if they’re a ginger.

2.1 innings, six runs. Gopher balls that themselves hit more gopher balls on their screaming, supersonic flights out of the stadium. You know. Your classic Julioing up of the joint. Bryce Harper hit baseballs very, very hard. AND WE WON ANYWAY. Preston Tucker’s insanely gigantic inhumanly large ears totally covered for him.

Look. Like I said. I don’t know. I was in Boston. The second screen was showing Didi Gregorious. I drank and read a book and forgot to watch the season premier of Legion on FX.

The Braves won, are 3-2, have crushed the ball this year, and with a win tonight would move back into an early tie for the division lead. Also, we’re only 10 days out from Acuna Day.

At this point in 1991 Houston’s Al Osuna had just out-dueled Kent Merker, dropping Atlanta to 2-3. Some rookie nobody named Curt Schilling got the save. Terry Pendleton wasn’t acquired for his bat.

54 thoughts on “Washington 6, Braves WAIT, WHAT?!”

  1. I know this seems irrelevant but the Mets exist too and might have some say concerning who is in first place at the end of the day. I suspect Max will have the bigger say though.

  2. @2 And if frogs had wings…

    I remained a supporter of not trading Teheran until last season. I believed we took our lumps with the guy and that his learning to pitch through adversity would make him a very dependable #2 or #3. Now I’m beginning to suspect that he is just No. 2, which gives me a case of buyer’s remorse (ie. maybe shoulda dealt him well ahead of Alex Wood when we could have sold higher!)

    I hope he is able to overcome his struggles at SunTrust. I doubt anyone is going to buy in on him solely on his away numbers.

  3. @Sam Remember when the Braves played in the “Launchin’ Pad”? Fulton county may have had a little something to do with it. Then again, I think that the Braves might have even been ahead of the hitting curve with Clarence Jones as the hitting coach. Might also explain Pendleton’s surge.

  4. Mets pitching has looked halfway decent. They could be a factor.

    Dansby hasn’t walked in 22 PAs. Interesting.

  5. Luke Jackson up, Chris Stewart DFA’d. Culberson (SS) and Perez (C) in the lineup today.

    Glad to see Carle wasn’t rewarded for his great work with a trip to Gwinnett.

  6. Ghost of Eric Gregg sighting, at least he has been consistently bad for both sides. (3rd strike on turner, 2nd strike on albies).

    edit: folk legend preston tucker!

  7. How are people feeling about their under bets?

    March 27, 2018 at 12:41 pm
    Our lack of power.

    Over/under total Braves runs scored in April? 34

  8. Tucker’s numbers (from college, from he minors) make me think of him as a potential LH Tommy Pham. That’s not a bad thing. He’s always had talent. Just never converted it to MLB, and then was outpaced by Houston’s more blue chip prospects. He’s a good get. I would bet on him maintaining some sort of folk hero status longer than Ryan Flaherty manages to keep hitting.

  9. Yeah, as I know I’ve mentioned ad nauseum, Tucker remains the most fearsome college hitter I’ve ever seen. My subjective opinions and emotions obviously mean little, but I’m not surprised he’s crushing some balls.

    I sure wouldn’t hate it if they found a taker for Markakis and let Tucker keep playing…

  10. I assume everyone knows it’s a day game today and that Folk Hero 2, Electric Tuckerloo has launched another 3-run job off of Scherzer in the first.

  11. snitker apparently comes from the gabe kapler school of bullpen management.. and perez has a great arm, they stole that off moylan.

    ugh.. go home, strike zone, you’re drunk

  12. Great job by Freeman. We have no business winning this game, which is why I love days like today in baseball.

  13. Minter starting a second inning. Makes sense, with Harper and Adams up. But this is also the first time he’s pitched consecutive days.
    And all of a sudden he can’t find the strike zone.

  14. Outside corner has been called 3-4 inches off the plate all day, and Minter can’t get a call one inch off the plate versus Harper

  15. They actually did the mirror opposite. Instead of getting the last out of the 6th and pitching the 7th, he pitched the 7th and got the first out of the 8th. All’s well that ends well.

  16. @8
    I just read that about 6 months ago. I wouldn’t call it a classic but I enjoyed it enough that it sent me down a Sci-Fi archaeology rabbit hole. I finally read a few actual classics that I’d never gotten around to, like Rendevous with Rama and A Canticle for Lebowitz. Might be my new favorite sub-sub-genre.

    Also, how ‘bout them Braves!

  17. However fleeting this may be, it paints a compelling picture what this team can accomplish with good players at 3B and LF. Without even fixing the pitching. Imagine when and if that happens.

  18. Dude. I LOVE xenoarcheology sci fi. Jack McDevitt. Reynolds. Certain Sherri Tepper. LOVE! My favorite sub genre of space opera sci fi.

  19. Even though Ender and Ozzie had nothing to show for this afternoon, they made Scherzer and co work hard, seeing 20 and 22 pitches respectively. Also Ozzie got robbed of extra bases.

  20. Why in the heck are Aaron Blair and Matt Wisler and Sims still getting starts in this organization?

    The AAA rotation: Soroka, Wisler, Blair, Allard, Sims.

    Fried to start in AA. This makes ZERO sense. In his first action in Atlanta, Fried performed better than Blair or Wisler ever have.

  21. Fried hasn’t exactly conquered AA.

    You want Soroka especially and maybe Allard up when they’ve shown they’re ready, not if one or two starters gets injured. That’s what at least some of Blair/Wisler/Sims are for.

  22. Dorian Fried – no, really, his middle name is Dorian – went 2-11 with an ERA of 5.92 at AA last year. Yes, he did okay in his call up starts, and he did well in Arizona this fall. But he isn’t exactly being dicked around. 2-11, 5.92.

    Aaron Daniel Blair performed better at AAA in both 2016 and 2017 than Fried did at AA. As did Matthew Daniel Wisler.

    Short version is that Max Fried hasn’t earned a spot in that rotation yet.

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