It felt like Julio Teheran had 20 of these starts last year. He got squeezed a bit, got dinked and doinked to death, the defense suffered a collective aneurysm — at this point, we should probably just call Erick Aybar E-6 and be done with it — and he left after four innings with five runs in. Then the gas-pail brigade came in from the pen and removed all doubt.

At the end of the third inning, it was 3-2 Cards. Then the Cards scored in the fourth, fifth, seventh, eighth, and ninth. Jason Grilli, our “closer,” came into the ninth inning of a 10-2 game and couldn’t even get three outs. After he walked the bases loaded, Fredi had to go get him and throw a sixth pitcher onto the tire fire. Then Arodys Vizcaino came in and induced a slow roller that Aybar managed not to throw away; the first-base umpire called it the third out of the inning, but the Cardinals, up by eight runs, challenged the call and got it reversed. The next grounder was tailor-made to Adonis Garcia, and Creed booted that one, too.

As bad as the pitching was, though, the box score really tells you everything you need to know:

  R H E
STL 12 14 3
ATL 2 4 3