Another year of Friday Recaps begins, and let’s do a Running Diary. Because as Joel Goodson
pontificated, sometimes you have to say what the heck. Since this is a family blog, I dropped the f
word. Well, not dropped as in actually saying it, but you know. I hope the game is more entertaining
than my attempts not to say fucj.

7:00 – Just in case anybody forgot what happened on this date: 715

7:01 – Jerome Jurenovich throws it to Kelcie Winert down on the field, and her microphone isn’t
turned on. Another error for a Braves team. The broadcasting team.

7:02 – Scrambling to recover Matt Diaz gushes about Wisler’s last start in September against the
Cards AAA team like that has meaning now.

7:05 – Fucj, the Cards struck out 37 times in the three game set in Pittsburgh. When did they trade
for Mudge and Uggla?

7:08 – The first of probably 715 ads for April in the ATL, 30 Games in 30 Days. 30 Hawks/Braves
games this month. Vegas has the Hawks as +110 favorites to have more April wins than the Braves.

7:10 – Nice Stat Alert! Ender Inciarte’s diving catch covered 71.8 feet in 3.93 seconds. Good job
there by the TV crew. Nice recovery from the Wingert error to open the show.

7:18 – Interview with Tyler Flowers. Tyler tells Kelcie that he’s been doing his homework on the staff
during ST. Then mentions his trip from Braves farmhand to White Sox back to Atlanta has “brought
him 360 degrees.” Subject must’ve been Geometry.

7:30 – Sports South is going to need a new intro next year when the Braves move into WFF at
SunTrust Park to replace The TEd’s appearance in this intro. I just KNOW they’re gonna cut the
fucjing payroll to do it.

7:35 – Matt Carpenter drives the second pitch into the left center gap, and Inciarte runs it down. I
can’t tell whether Ender made that play look easier than it was, or harder. But after Wednesday, I’m
gonna say he made it look easier than it was, since Carpenter smoked that pitch.

7:36 – 3 pitches, two outs. That’s a 50% pitch wastage there Matt Wisler. Pick it up.

7:37 – Matt Holliday drives a double to the gap in right center that even Ender couldn’t get to. That
was probably Nick Markakis’ ball.

7:39 – Wisler hits Matt Adams in the foot with a pitch. It will probably just make him faster. And
btw, what the fucj is up with all these Matts running around the Cardinal line-up? Was there a
Spring Sale at Penny’s that I missed?

7:44 – Just saw on the SportsSouth ticker (and don’t you know that abbreviating SportsSouth is
NEVER going to end well.) that Trevor Storey has now outhomered the Braves 5 to 2 for the season.

7:45 – Inciarte tweaks something beating out an error to first. Lifted for Drew Stubbs. Fucj!

7:47 – 1-2 count to Eric Aybar

7:51 – Still a 1-2 count to Aybar.

7:52 – Aybar’s trade value is going up with every routine grounder to Jedd Gyorko over at short.

7:53 – How to go from a promising start to nada. Freddie Freeman with a quick flyout to left and
Adonis Garcia with the 5-4-3 DP. If he had only hit it to Gyorko….

7:56 – Joe Simpson is inordinately fascinated by Tyler Flowers anti-concussion face mask. Just
thought you should know in case you see a creepy old man lurking in the Sporting Good Section of
Dicj’s Sporting Goods.

8:02 – Showed Fredi G. taking a tour of SunTrust Park. I wonder how many viewers are secretly
hoping that is the only time he shows up there as the Braves’ manager.

8:05 – Kyle Schwarber out for the season with torn knee ligaments. Tough luck for the Cubbies. Let
the Markakis trade rumors commence in 3..2..1..

8:09 – Hey! Gordon Beckham didn’t strike out! Now if he would only ground to Gyorko.

8:14 – Matt Carpenter finds out our replacement CF can catch the ball too. Inciarte would’ve made it
look easier.

8:23 – Wisler and Stubbs – the heart of the Braves offense!

8:27 – Wisler barely beats the throw from Steven Piscotty after Freeman gives him conflicting
slide/stand-up signals.

8:29 – Freeman swings through two fastballs. He’s not looking good so far.

8:31 – Garcia with the IBB to Garcia. Season walk count 1 Intentional, 1 unintentional.

8:32 – Markakis with the big two out hit to score Stubbs!

8:33 – Chip: ’25 pitches this inning for Jaime Garcia.’ SportsSouth graphic: ’27 pitches this inning.’

8:34 – Hector Olivera with the bloop off Randall Grichuk’s glove to score Garcia. Inciarte would’ve
caught that.

8:36 – Flowers continues the 2 out Hit Parade, with a single to the gap in left. Inciarte would’ve
caught that. Fortunately for St. Louis, that brings up Beckham.

8:37 – Beckham absolutely ROBBED by Gyorko.

8:40 – Chip: ‘ Strike one sliced into the seats.’ Graphic: Count: 0-2 Is he even watching the game
feed? Hecj, is he even watching this game?

8:41 – Holliday with the double to the gap in left. Inciarte would’ve caught that.

8:42 – Adams bloops one in front of Olivera. Inciarte would’ve caught that.

8:45 – Molina grounds out. Holliday scores.

8:47 – Adams hustles in on a wild pitch. That HBP did speed him up.

8:54 – This is why we can’t have nice things. Kolten Wong walks, Gyorko bloops one to right, and
Jaime Garcia grounds one up the middle that Beckham can’t corral, and suddenly it’s 4-3.

8:57 – After the top of the 4th, the Braves have to keep St, Louis out in the field and respond. And
they do, for 7 whole pitches.

9:08 – Holliday and Adams strike out on pitches in the dirt. Flowers throws both out. The HBP
must’ve worn off.

9:13 – Garcia with an unintentional walk. Season Walk count: Unintentional – 2, Intentional – 1. My
guess of 4 in the Guess Thread is looking a bit shaky.

9:22 – Beckham makes a nice diving play on Wong. Inciarte would’ve caught that too.

9:27 – Another seven pitch inning for the Braves. It’s almost if they’ve heard of Working the Count,
but, like the Vogons and the Theory of Evolution, decided that want to have no trucj with it.

9:31 – And we’re tied. Jeremy Hazelbaker hits his second homer of the season pinch-hitting for
Garcia. Hey, yet another player with as many homers as the Braves.

9:32 – Carpenter singles to right, and is thrown out by Markakis on a close play. Inciarte would’ve
caught that. Cardinals challenge, and the call is….

9:34 – Upheld! Wisler done after that. 6 2/3 of alternately great and maddening pitching.

9:35 – Heyyyyy! it’s The Fonz!

9:37 – Aybar with a Simba-esque play to rob Holliday. Inciarte would’ve caught that easier.

9:42 – Do you to make the OH no joke here? Go ahead, take it. It’s what friends are for. You’re
welcome.

9:46 – Ticker Homer alert: Trevor Storey 6, Atlanta 2.

9:48 – Stubbs walks, and Aybar thrown out by Carpenter on the bunt using the Chipper barehand
gran and throw. Stubbs takes third on a wild pitch with one out. Come on guys got to get him in
here.

9:49 – Freeman with one of many IBBs to come.

9:52 – If Adonis had taped another bat to his bat, he still wouldn’t have reached any of the three
pitches he swung at.

9:54 – Markakis grounds one up the middle for the 4-6 putout. I guess hitting .500 with 2outRISP at
bats isn’t too shabby.

9:58 – Eric O’Fleherty in to serve up the second consecutive pinch hit HR to a Cardinals PH – Aledmys
Diaz. And he gets pulled after one pitch.

10:05 – Good Jim Johnson shows up.

10:18 – John Gant in to pitch the top of the 9th.

10:19 – Here’s the pitch!

10:19:03 – No, Here’s the pitch.

10:19:04 – Uh no, Here’s the pitch?

10:19:05 – Yes! The pitch.

10:22 – Greg Garcia pinch hits. Joe Simpson thinks Garcia has to like his chances here.

10:23 – Thanks Joe.

10:26 – John Gant not fooling anyone. Steven Piscotty hammers one over the CF wall. Even Inciarte
would not have caught that. 7-4 St. Louis.

10:28 – Well, this team is looking as inept as anything I’ve seen in my 35+ years of fandom. We’re
looking at a potential losing streak of epic, historical proportions. Perhaps an all-timer.

10:29 – Oh wait, they’re still the bottom of the 9th to play.

10:35 – Told you back at 10:28. Shij, five hits, all in the third is not going to get it done. Wisler
didn’t pitch that badly, although he wasn’t stellar by any stretch of the imagination. Freeman looked
bad tonight, swinging through belt high fastballs, and no one else in this lineup causes an opposing
pitcher to quake in his shoes. At least we get to play 10 on 9 tomorrow with Williams and Perez on
the mound.