Shelby’s Mother: Wilpons 4, Liberties $0.00

Shelby’s mother says Shelby is good, too good to play for these chumps.
Everybody knows that Shelby is trying, too bad the offense’s a dump.
Shelby’s mother says “Shelby should be happy,
So why can’t he leave this bad team?”
And Gonzalez says “tip your hat more” for the next 3 seasons,

Please Mrs. Miller, let Shelby play with us.
He is almost all we have.
Please Mrs. Miller, just need to tell him
Thank you.

Michael Conforto got Shelby one time, and one more run was all Shelby gave.
Three days against the Phillies gave Shelby hope, but this offense is shame.
Shelby’s mother says “cut all 3 Johns and take Cox with you as well.
And Gonzalez says “tip your hat more” for the next 3 seasons.

Please Mrs. Miller, let Shelby play for us.
We’ll only keep him awhile.
Please Mrs. Miller, we don’t want to say “Goodbye.”

Andrew McKirahan let two more runs in,
This bullpen is still quite a mess.
A. J. Pierzinski threw somebody out.
How is it that he’s now our best?
Braves can still catch the Phillies,
particularly if they play more like this.
And Gonzalez says “tip your hat more” for the next 3 seasons.

Please Mrs. Miller, we do like Shelby.
We understand why you are sad.
Please Mrs. Miller, we just want to be less bad.

34 thoughts on “Shelby’s Mother: Wilpons 4, Liberties $0.00”

  1. I can reiterate the joys of having a Play Index subscription at Baseball Reference. For instance, if it occurs to you to wonder whether Shelby Miller was having the best 5-or-fewer win season by a starting pitcher in MLB history, you can hop on over to the Play Index and input Wins (less than or equal to 5), WAR (greater than or equal to 3 {to shorten the list of results}), and click on Qualified for ERA Title (to eliminate Mariano Rivera), and voila!

  2. Mike Hampton
    paid so much for so little, married Jean Shrampton
    he threw from the left
    that is if he threw at all, it was predominantly theft.

    Mike Hampton
    paid so much for so little, married Jean Shrampton
    she too was small
    on honeymoon she kept breaking down as we recall.

  3. As a faithful resident of St. Pete, needless to say, this is both great news, and a potential dangerous blow to my productivity in the month of March. We could have the Jays, Phillies, Braves, and Yankees all in the Tampa Bay area (and many others within an hour of driving). Sign. Me. Up. I only got to one game this past season during Spring Training based on the way the dates fell.

  4. Has anyone read if Forty is one of these thoracic outlet guys who have the extra rib up near the collar bone?

    As I understood it, a) the clots are the acute “symptom” of the “disease” of thoracic outlet syndrome. And b) thoracic outlet can be the result of repetitive stress injury, or can be caused by, or is just more likely to occur in guys who have, an extra rib around the collar bone.

    I ask because he had a portion of his first rib removed.

  5. The braves train in a lake? No wonder they can’t hit, pitch or catch. Next year they should train on a field.

  6. I’m going to demand my money back from I tried to select the Braves game to watch, but they’re showing me some game full of home runs. Pathetic service.

  7. @23 Two words: Plausible deniability.

    Olivera’s wouldn’t have gone out if the fences were where they used to be.

    Nice to see our Trojan warrior put a big hurt on a baseball, though.

  8. Not that I don’t mind reducing the Nats chances of making the playoffs, but can’t Fredi bring in Vizcaino for a multiple-inning save here? Marksberry isn’t instilling a lot of confidence right now….

  9. Had any combination of Uribe, Garcia, and/or KJ gotten a total of 600 ABs, that platoon would have produced 28-29 home runs. Moral of the story: Chris Johnson, Pedro Ciraico, and the trading of KJ and Uribe are all things that suck.

    Freeman, had he gotten 600 ABs, would have hit 24 home runs.

    Basically, if you take Terdoslavich, Ciriaco, Eury Perez, Bethancourt, and Callaspo out of the equation (which will be the case in 2016), the offense is largely… average. Progress!

  10. We’re actually 7-8 since Sep 6. With 5 of those wins against the Phillies. But as you said, progress!

    Think we might just avoid the 100 loss season, that we seemed hell bent on achieving.

  11. (In case you haven’t noticed, I’m just shotgunning talking points.)

    Now that the season is close to being over, Jason Heyward’s season line is .288/.341/.435, which is crazy close to his career line of .267/.341/.430. This year, he has 12 HR, a 22/3 SB/CS, and Gold Glove caliber defense.

    Is this guy going to be one of the top 3 or 4 FAs this offseason?

  12. @24

    Actually, I think the yellow line used to be at the top of the padding and below the railing, so that would’ve been a home run in the old configuration. And even if not, it would’ve been one of the only parks where that ball wouldn’t have been a home run.

    Also, Joe Simpson just mentioned during the postgame show that this is the first time we’ve won a game someplace other than Atlanta or Philadelphia since July 26. That’s…um, not good. Like, I know how bad we are and that’s still a shocking stat.

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