Why don’t we get drunk and puke? Braves 3, Jesuits 5

Braves really don’t appreciate the fact you’re sitting here.
Chip’s voice sounds horrible,
And we wish he wasn’t around here.
Watching this baseball, get a pitcher, and another round of brew.
Why don’t we get drunk and puke.

Why don’t we get drunk and puke.
Shelby Miller is great, but that ‘pen is like a zoo.
Melvin Upton, Jr. scored.
I can’t think that’s true.
So, why don’t we get drunk and puke.

It’s only 90 feet, Jason Grilli!

Why don’t we get drunk and puke.
We get bases loaded and a base hit, nobody scores.
They say this is a bad bullpen and I know that it’s true.
So, why don’t we get drunk, and puke.
Yeah now baby, I say,
Why don’t we get drunk and puke.

111 thoughts on “Why don’t we get drunk and puke? Braves 3, Jesuits 5”

  1. From Martin Gandy re Braves first five picks:


    I’m trying to say something positive other than Shelby Miller, Cameron Maybin, Andrelton Simmons and Jace Peterson. I’ve deleted Zombie Freddie the Brainless from my good list for today.

  2. David Aardsma called up, Cody Martin optioned…probably for the last time in a Braves uni.

  3. Instead of watching the game, I went on the worst date ever. Seems like a wash!

  4. Zinga!

    Poor Cody. Probably overused and overexposed.

    @3 Me too. Seems like most of them are slap and run guys.

  5. Old school Braves philosophy is pitching pitching pitching. The early 90’s Braves didn’t have bats either. We’re going to try to win every game 2-1 from the looks of things.

    My fear is that there’s a lot of success-bias in the front office. Pitching and defense gets you to the postseason…we know this because we’ve done it…a lot.

    You also have to suck really bad for a lot of years and stockpile a bunch of high draft picks, and then get lucky enough to have it all come together with 3 first-ballot hall of famers on the same team.

    I’m thinking there’s no way in hell that formula is repeatable.

  6. krussell at 8,

    Agree that the change in time makes any formula from that era not so good.

    1. I am VERY impressed with the hitting improvements that seem to come from Seitzer. Even the power thing is not a problem. FOR THE PEOPLE WE HAVE, power seems to not be sacrificed in his system (Maybin? KJ?) He seems to need to be the person who sets the hitting foundation for the whole organization (like Sain used to do for pitching).

    2. The “draft pitchers” may be even more important now. Because you can get FA position players and do fairly well. Say 80% of the time, you get 80% of the value you are seemingly paying for (dollars per WAR). The injury and decline risks for pitchers are much greater. So, if you have to BUY, you buy hitting.

    3. I know hitting is becoming harder to buy. But still, the risk is so much less.

  7. When you have enough cheap young controllable arms you can either pay for the bats via FA or trade from your strength. I guess the Braves know their strength is developing young arms.

  8. @9, yeah I left out Chipper since he’s not a pitcher. But we got Chipper because we were the worst team in baseball in the late 80’s.

    Note that I’ve advocated tanking these next couple of seasons just to have a chance at a top 3 pick. Odds aren’t good we’ll get another Chipper, but picking first overall has to help matters some if you trust your scouting department.

    I don’t want to win 76 games. It doesn’t excite me as a fan, and it doesn’t get us to the top of the draft.

  9. With it being considered a weak draft, it’s interesting that the Braves took Keith Law’s #61 overall player with the 27th pick. Had Fredi done something so seemingly stupid, people would be burning cars in the streets.

  10. @14

    Well, we more or less all know how to handle a baseball game. We watch it all the time, so when we criticize the manager, we’re criticizing from an intelligent perspective. (Whether it comes out intelligently or no.)

    I don’t have the first idea what to do about a draft, whether it’s scouting high school players, or setting an organizational strategy that won’t play out for 4-ish years, or how to use that slot money wisely, or anything. Unlike with managing, I can’t even pretend to know what I’m talking about with the draft, let alone criticize the folks who do.

  11. AAR at 13,

    I was all set to emphasize Shelby’s stellar WHIP with “Crack That Whip” before the debacle. So, I backed up 8 or so years, and punted.

  12. So our last two picks were ranked 484 and not ranked in the BA 500 and we are still in the first 100 picks of the draft. I’m not sure I know what we are doing here. I get it that Hart/Cop like these guys but wouldn’t they have been available later? Unless it’s to sign them under slot and go for a big overslot deal later?

  13. Every organization’s draft board looks different. Same for all the outside experts. And that’s not taking signability or slot strategies into account. It’s not worth getting worked up over.

  14. @18 — Minor found a couple extra MPH on his fastball after he turned pro, which isn’t something you can expect from everyone. In addition, the Braves attempted to rebottle that lightning for the next few years and ended up taking the Sean Gilmartins of the world, so it’s not really a repeatable strategy.

  15. @21

    I don’t know about that. I think MLB guys can look at a pitcher’s delivery and say, “If we can get him to do ____, then he may gain velocity.”

  16. All of the pitchers…

    7 of the first 9 picks are pitchers (and 1 of the hitters many teams preferred as a pitcher).

    Latest pick is Chris Withrow’s brother out of Texas Tech

  17. And a lot of these guys basically appear to be the same player, at least according to John Sickels:

    150) Braves: Ryan Clark, RHP, UNC Greensboro: Inconsistent but throws hard, has some upside.
    180) Braves: Matt Withrow, RHP, Texas Tech: Brother of Chris, like his brother he has good stuff but health concerns hurt stock.
    210) Braves: Patrick Weigel, RHP, Houston: college arm who throws very hard but is inconsistent.

  18. Anybody that claims to be able to tell the difference between the 200 and 400 best baseball player available in the draft with any degree of precision is lying.

    /scorching hot taek.

  19. 21 — Ironically the Braves would be a better team right now if they still had Gilmartin. And Gilmartin was really the only guy they repeated it with. Jason Hursh and Lucas Sims were the next 2 years’ #1 picks, a hard-throwing RHP sinker baller and a high school RHP.

  20. it’s a good thing I have no idea about any of these players because if I did, I’d think we were clueless in this draft. Historically, high school pitchers are the hardest to project in round 1 (with college hitters providing the most war in the first round and hs pitchers the least). Then, we’re doubling down on pitching in what is now a pitching-rich system (yes, you can never have too much). We’re drafting pitching when hitting is becoming more scarce, and we may be overdrafting some of it.

    I did like the tape on the allard kid, fwiw

    I really hope these guys know what they’re doing. Maybe they plan on getting international positional talent to fill out the system. Who knows?

  21. Good gosh. They’re really testing the theory that you can’t have enough pitching.

  22. We have lots of pitchers an very little hitting. I think we made a mistake not getting more bats.

  23. From the reports, it sounds like they were really drafting for velocity, which makes sense: it’s a high risk high reward strategy, but it’s also pretty simple: draft a ton of live arm lottery tickets and see what you get. But they’ll clearly have to keep trading for hitting.

  24. Seems to me the Braves and Cubs might be frequent trade partners in the future.

  25. I think they’ll load up on hitters during the international signing period.

  26. The last guy they drafted is from the Naval Academy and has a military commitment. Not sure how that is going to work.

  27. @40 He is 23 and required to give at the minimum 2 years of service before pursuing baseball from my understanding.

  28. If Fredi needed 2 years for a military commitment, people would be burning cars in the streets. LAWL

  29. Cunningham should be in the lineup and playing LF. He would’ve got to that ball, which as mentioned before, still wouldn’t matter

  30. Starting Gomes instead of Cunningham vs. any RHP is a cry for help. Management should answer and send Fredi on an indefinite scouting trip.

  31. Folty is hitting here for what reason?

    Guaranteed Fredi pulls him at some point in the top of the 6th

  32. Well, it’s not like our bullpen gives Fredi a great reason to pull the starter. Turning four innings over to our bullpen on any given night is stuff nightmares are made of.

  33. Yes, pulling any starter before you have to right now is foolish.

    Gomes! Good thing he’s in there for his glove

    Edit: but you’re right he gets pulled

  34. You’d think poor left field defense couldn’t kill you too much (I mean, we’ve had guys like Ryan Klesko and Evan Gattis out there), but Gomes has given the Padres two runs tonight (and now three, since the inning should have been over already). His late inning defensive replacement should come in in the first inning every game he’s in the starting lineup.

  35. @57 really Gomes should never play vs a RHP. We do have Eury Perez rotting in AAA and terdoslavich. Can Gomes’ beardership really make up for his bad D and bad O?

  36. I didn’t see Gomes driving in the tying run against shields.

    Andrelton needs to learn how to slide without risking his body and the defender’s

  37. Today in Joe Simpson Being Wrong, Andrelton Simmons is the best slider I’ve ever seen.

  38. Gomes just “earned” another 50 at bats against right handers in Freddy’s mind,

  39. “There’s no doubting the arms… Cody Martin clocked 92, 93”

    There’s some doubting the guns.

  40. What is it with the Giants and no-hitters? Four straight seasons. I just want to see the Braves throw one. Is that too much to ask?

  41. There was a free hit just sitting there. I heard something about him practicing bunting a couple weeks back. Haven’t heard anything since.

    @71 They’ve had some magic over the last half decade

  42. Melvin’s going to score the winning run tonight, isn’t he? This team is unwatchable.

  43. I was shocked there was no BUpton go-ahead homerun, but this might actually be worse.

  44. Bethancourt’s defense really isn’t what it needs to be to carry his bat. If only we had a catcher who could hit…

  45. Okay, seriously, why are we throwing the ball into centerfield when Melvin is in the vicinity of second base? That guy is in our heads.

  46. Not sure how the umpire missed that one. He has a terrific view. Definitely out.

  47. I can’t imagine Justin likes the merciless booing of his brother. Hope it didn’t get him too riled up.

  48. Well, this just means that Melvin will score the winning run in the 11th inning. And when that happens, I’m going to officially petition AAR to add “The Braves” to the poll on this site, just so I can vote that they’re the team I hate the most.

  49. I did not see that coming either. This game has been full of pleasant surprises, which has been a nice change.

  50. I love it! However due to our recent bullpen issues I will not be watching the top of the 9th…keep me posted folks.

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