I asked my wife to recap this one for me, and she stepped in like a champ. This is . . . special.

Hiya. Stu’s wife Kate here. My very devoted and loving husband is logging 14 hours at work today (no kidding), so I have been brought up from the minor leagues to give you today’s recap via our DVR. Folks, it’s going to be rocky. I’m going to talk about fashion and my strange observations about the game. But, hey! It’s a recap nevertheless, and I hope you can (white) bear with my bullets and punny jokes.

Can I just say that as someone who usually “watches” games by being in the room with JD while doing other things when the game is on, I have developed a keen ear for the announcers. In short, I miss Boog. Sometimes I’d like to just put a bar of soap in Chip’s mouth. He basically said the stupidest thing to introduce today’s game: “Let’s go streaking!” No no no no no. He jinxed the streak with his goofiness. What a stupid thing to say.

The Braves are in all white, which doesn’t do much for Fredi’s figure. Royals are in blue tops and gray pants, which are almost never flattering on any team.

First inning
Royals Lineup
Alex Gordon (LF)
Alicides Escobar (SS)
Billy Butler (1B)
Salvador Perez (C)
Lorenzo Cain (CF)
Jeff Fransnore (RF)
Mike Mostakas (3B)
Chris Getz (2B)
Wade Davis (P)

• Mikie Minor has a great start striking the first guy out.
• Alicides is a cool name, but not enough to get him a hit to land on base.
• They announce the umps’ names, which might be important for later (hint hint): Doug Eddings, John Tumpane, Dana Demuth, and Angel Hernandez.
• What the heck is Billy Butler wearing around his neck? A rope? At least it matches and helps with getting struck out.

• Braves’ turn, here’s the lineup:
Braves Lineup
BJ Upton (CF)
Jason Heyword (RF)
Justin Upton (LF)
Evan Gattis (C)
Dan Uggla (2B)
Juan Francisco (3B)
Chris Johnson (1B)
Andrelton Simmons (SS)
Mike Minor (P)

• BJ gets on first quickly. Nice running, old man.
• Why did I not know Jason Heyward was a southpaw? (Thanks Karen in “Field of Dreams” …I will always know what that means.) Anyway, Heyward gets an out with a hit between 2nd and 3rd.
• Jupton makes everyone nervous by hitting a foul that looks like a homer. Another, minor heart attack when his hit is an out all the way in center field.
• Geez a long throw gets El Oso Blanco out at first.
• NBD… we’ve got 8 more innings.

Second Inning
• Quick out for Salvadore Perez. (Have I mentioned how much I like Mike Minor? He’s a fellow Vanderbilt Commodore, so I of course think he’s great.)
• Simmons makes an excellent throw to first to get Cain out quickly. Poor Andrelton almost did a split! (I feel bad for the Braves laundry lady.)
• Oh, Francsnore, hello again… swinging at the first pitch still. (Will you never learn?) He’s out quickly with a popup to LF, and Mike Minor barely breaks a sweat.

Braves up.
• Uggla hits a ball out to the warning track, but, well, no luck. Maybe that’s why you’re known as “Struggla” around the Stuart household.
• Juan Francisco… Look at that! He makes it to first. Looks like Butler bare-handed the throw but threw too well/hard to make the out at first.
• Chris Johnson gets a strike and walks away, shaking his head, and hits the bat on his helmet. It’s ok, buddy! Don’t be so hard on yourself! Even though you eventually hit a double play.

Third Inning
• Moustakas hits out to right field and makes it to first. What a cool name. I’ll give you that base.
• Minor is at 33 pitches about now. Very nice.
• Getz hits it out to center field for an easy out.
• Davis, wait, he’s the pitcher? He has a .333 batting average? Is that right? I thought only Hudson had that type of batting average. Where is my husband when I need him when I have these questions? (I texted him: he clarifies that the Royals are in the AL which means they wuss out and don’t make the pitchers hit. Makes much more sense now.) Davis strikes out. See ya, .333!!!
• Gordon pops up into foul territory but gets an out. We’re still scoreless.

Braves up.
• Wait a minute, Andrelton Simmons already hit a popup into the outfield and I hadn’t even finished enjoying my commercial break. Simmer down, Simmons! You’re going to get a rep like Francsnore.
• Minor gets struck out. That’s ok, buddy. Keep your strength up for pitching.
• BJ Upton gets struck out too! Goodness… I’m getting a little bored.

Fourth inning
• Whew a nice hit out to RF for Escobar and he makes it to first. (What do you think they talk about at 1st base? Good ATL restaurants? Taunts about their mamas and stealing bases?)
• Minor’s doing pretty well here. 53 pitches after three batters, staying strong, “finding his way” as Glavine asserted.
• Lorenzo hits a single for an infield hit.
• Up again is Francsnore. Could you compare him to Billy Bean, fizzling out after high school? I doubt he’ll ever have Brad Pitt play him in a movie though. But he hit a line drive out into left, which brings Escobar home. Not bad, Jeffy.

Braves up.
• Heyward strikes out and says some choice words to the ump when departing. I can only imagine he’s telling the ump about his toe jam.
• Jupton hits a nice off-speed pitch out into left field and makes it to first. I read a cool stat today about Jupton: Justin Upton is averaging 422.4 feet per home run and all eight of his HR this season have gone over 400 feet.
• Gattis is up. I do love and miss Brian McCann (I will not publish the embarrassing thing I said to him when I met McCann in person after a game many years ago, but ever since that humbling moment, McCann is ok in my book). But Gattis has been really fun to watch. He hits a huge fly out to left but it is caught.
• And Struggla retires the side. Sigh.

Fifth Inning
• Mike Minor shines… 1, 2, 3. At this rate, he’ll be in all day.
Braves up.
• Wade Davis is at 53 pitches after he gets Francisco out. He’s going pretty solidly as well.
• Can I just say Chris Johnson is really hard on himself. Every time he walks away from the plate to take a breather, he shakes his head. It’s ok, buddy! Really! Somebody hug him after he gets out at first.
• Escobar gets out at first too. I need to go do some laundry.

Sixth Inning
• I can’t believe Jeff Francsnore is the only reason the Royals are winning. This 1-0 game so far has been the pits.
• Wait a minute, Escobar is back on first.
• Apparently Bo Jackson is at Turner Field today and threw out the first pitch. Who else has seen that ESPN “30 for 30” on Bo Jackson? Really excellent. Tip: if you are a boy and your girlfriend/wife isn’t into sports, make her watch those documentaries. I’m a big big fan. Really enjoyed the Magic Johnson/Larry Bird one too. The one with that running back Ricky was weird.
• Anyway, no trouble for Mike Minor in this inning with some easy outs.

Braves up.
• Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa… what is Jordan Schaefer doing at the plate instead of Minor? JD explains via text that Jordan is in because Fredi wanted to start a rally. What a bummer for Minor, especially because Schaefer strikes out.
• Upton makes a nice hit, right into Davis’ derriere. I blame the gray pants.
• I’m feeling a little tension between Heyward and the ump, but J-Hey hits a nice double and is the only Brave today to see the second base. I bet it was lonely.
• At this point, Davis has thrown 72 pitches, and he somehow gets an Upton out. Man, bummer.

Seventh Inning
• So that stupid graphic about calling the bullpen comes up, and I am reminded that Minor is NOT in the game and Luis Ayala is. I’m sure Lou is a swell guy, but I’m bummed Fredi messed up a good thing.
• Stolen base made by Cain, who is also wearing a goofy rope necklace. Maybe the rope is a legit thing?
• Moustakas helps Cain advance to third with an easy out at 1st, but Ayala quickly gets the third out.

Braves up.
• Dang, easy tag of the White Bear when he heads to first.
• Ruh roh, Uggla is having some choice words with Ump Eddings. I can’t imagine they’d want their mamas to hear what they are saying.
• Ooh Francicso makes it to first with a hit out to right. Maybe this is promising?
• Johnson makes a great hit that leads to a flub by the Royals and gives Francisco a chance to run home. Sadly, Royals get Franny out at home plate.

Eighth Inning
• Jarrod Dyson pinch-hits for Davis who is out of the game finally. He pitched very well, says someone-who-knows-nothing-about-pitching.
• Ayala does well pitching this half inning, despite weird ump rumblings.

Braves up.
• Kelvin Herrara is the Davis replacement.
• Simmons and Herrara have a long exchange, and when Simmons is finally struck out, the ump receives some serious words and boos. Eddings is stinking.
• Francsnore flubs a hit by Pena, so Pena actually advances to first. But next batter BJ just pops it up. Heyward is up, which makes the Royals nervous. But not legitimately nervous because he gets a quick out.

Ninth Inning
• Thankfully, Francsnore does not disappoint and hits into a double play that closes out their batting time in Atlanta. At this point, I’m finishing the laundry and trying to decide how not to be depressed that my first (and hopefully only) recap will be on the game that broke the lovely winning streak.

Braves up.
• Quick three outs by the Asheville-closer Holland. I’m going to just delete the game on the DVR and call it a night. If you’ve read this far, you’re a trooper. And for the record, I blame Chip Caray.