ESPN Box Score

Several familiar themes emerged in tonight’s 6-4 win over the Pirates. The offense continues to be cartoonishly what it is. Julio Teheran, unfortunately, continues to be who he has been. Chris Johnson continues to find his way on base, never the same way twice. And a certain rookie sensation continued to add to his legend.

Bupton got things going right away with a leadoff homer in the first against the slight (but double-roped!) southpaw Jeff Locke, whom the Bucs acquired from the Braves in the Louth deal. Locke, like Teheran, is an unfinished product, and also struggled with his command. The combination was excruciating to watch – the crowd looked distracted, I was bored, and Clint Hurdle’s scotch bottle sang its siren song.

You knew we were in for a long night in the bottom of the first when Teheran sailed four straight fastballs high and outside to Travis Snider, who eventually came around to tie the game. Russell Martin untied it in the second with a solo HR. C. Johnson then discovered the joy of homering with an actual runner on base in the top of the third, scoring Jupton ahead of him and making the score 3-2 Braves.

In the bottom of the fourth, Pedro Alvarez went mammo on a pitch that was, as was typical all night, nowhere near the target. Seriously, Teheran threw 87 pitches, and I swear 40 of them missed Laird’s target by at least a foot. The difference between Teheran’s command and that of every single other pitcher on the staff is alarming. He’s got to do better.

The teams traded additional single runs (Jupton!). Then the bullpens got involved, and the game sharpened up a good bit. Varvaro went six-up-six-down, then smacked Julio up side of his head and was all, like, “see?” The Bucs’ pen returned the favor, and then came the top of the eighth.

With one out and Simmons on first, Fredi did something unusual for a Braves manager – he sent up his other catcher, one Evan Gattis, to pinch-hit. Joe Simpson joked that Fredi didn’t know who his emergency catcher is, because “no one volunteered.” Please God let it be Schafer. Anyway, Gattis powdered a Jared Hughes offering over the left field wall for a two-run homer and a 6-4 Braves lead. No way he gets sent down when McCann returns, no way.

O’Flambrel did what we’ve all come to take for granted (and ain’t that nice), and victory was ours. Thanks to Starling Marte’s platinum sombrero, Heyward had only the second-worst batting line of the night, and he’s now down to .115.

So that’s that, a cool 13-2. Tim Hudson versus Wandy Rodriguez, who’s coming off a hamstring issue, Friday at 7:05. Oh yeah – if you’ve never been to PNC Park, it is a real gem, and well worth a trip. But Primanti’s is deeply stupid. French fries in a sandwich is not a thing.