(Pace the Stonecutter’s Song)

Who controls Bobby Cox’s brain?
Who makes Alex go insane?
Andruw! Andruw!
Who makes Furcal play like crap?
Who gives him beer straight from the tap?
Andruw! Andruw!
Who makes Kolb throw bases on balls?
Who makes umpires miss all these calls?
Andruw! Andruw!
Who makes Schuerholz make bad deals?
Who causes pain to Chipper’s wheels?
Andruw! Andruw!