Except for two and a half sometimes wonderful, sometimes agonizing years in Athens, I have spent my whole life “below the gnat line.” Definitely the most annoying pest ever set upon mankind. A biology professor at Georgia Southwestern, Dr. Tietjen, became an expert on gnats and used to give a really good talk on them. They crave moisture. Thus, when you sweat, they come. Their life cycle requires them to place eggs in soil. Thus, they prefer sandy soils of the lower coastal plain (as opposed to “red dirt”) AND, it is a boon to them if the nearby area is broken in cultivation, as opposed to standing timberlands. The absolute worst place for gnats is to be lying on the ground working on a water pipe in a trench.

Well, the baseball team from Lower Foggy Bottom is just such an annoyance. A little thing from Braves Vision last night. Because of COVID, the gNats really didn’t get a revenue bump / glory time after their 2019 World Series. By 2021, the wheels had come off of the bus.

Almost certainly there is not sufficient information to determine this, but this sure looks like a better version of Bryce Elder. Last night, we got to see the 2026 version of “bad Bryce Elder.” And, that is good enough for a team win probably 50% of the time. So, “2026 good Bryce Elder” is even better.

Have the cosmic tumblers aligned? Well, Ronald Acuna was hit TWICE last night and maybe avoided significant injury. For now, it is day to day with a bruised hand (first shot hit the elbow pad). If we start getting back players over the next few weeks (Sean Murphy, Spencer Strider, then maybe Hurston Waldrep and A J Smith-Shawver) without anybody else going down first, this is setting up for a deep run.

By the way, Braves Vision was having some issues last night with the “ball strike / out status” box. Whoever was keeping that was frequently 10 to 15 seconds behind.

The “system” said that the gNats had a 72% win probability after they led 2 to 0 after 1 inning. I guess I have a lot more optimism than the “Braves Journal Pessimist Team.” I knew if Elder didn’t fold up like a napkin, this team was probably going to win.

Well, sure enough, top of 4, the Braves answered. First plunk of RAJ. Then, obviously, he had to get picked off. But Drake Baldwin singled and Matt Olson launched. In fact, Olson launched 2 more that ended up 2 feet and 10 feet short of glory land. Drake and Matt, the teammate pair with the most total bases in all of MLB.

Elder was still trying to Weeble along. He gave up a leadoff home to something called Darren Lile as soon as he went back to the mound. My previous “Elder Skepticism” began to creep back in. But he proceeded to get 7 straight outs and while that was going on, “The Explosion” happened. I propose “The Explosion” as the offensive counter position to “the Episode.” “The Explosion” resulted in 5 runs. Of particular note was Drake Baldwin scoring from third after a bloop, nearly caught, single to left. I know the scouting scale says Baldwin is too slow to be useful anywhere other than catcher, first base, and DH. But when he saw that thing drop, he proved he was at least a lot faster than Brian McCann ever was.

Well, in the next half inning, Austin Riley decided he needed to throw a ball to a fan instead of Olson, and despite a run scoring that shouldn’t have (a TRULY unearned run), Elder didn’t let the wobble push him over, and at the end of 6 it was 7 to 4 Braves and I was near “Red Auerbach” time. Actually, I haven’t smoked a cigar since State Merit insurance added its tobacco surcharge around 20 years ago, but I just remembered I am on Medicare now and they don’t make me swear I am not a user of the evil substance, so maybe I can pick up a Garcia Y Vega every once and a while.

Elder started one more inning and turned it over to Aaron Bummer for the last out of the 7th, and Bummer got it done. Then, Kinley looked super in 8 (WHAT a pickup) and then the Braves got 2 more in top of 9 to create “Payamps room.” And old Joel Payamps took out 3 gNats one, two, three, just like everybody had it in their predictions.

Like Don Henley said, “kick ’em when they’re down, kick ’em all around.”