I went to a baseball game and a football game broke out.
What’s with this Gausman? He’s better than my grandmother, but she’s 95.
And Josh Donaldson? You like to run your trap, don’t you? Hey, but that getting Muskrat tossed, man that was a thing of beauty.
Ronald Acuna, Jr., there’s nothing “junior” about him. Somebody said something about salami. Who’s making the sandwiches? But I guess he is kind of like Michael Jackson: he wears a glove but nobody knows exactly why.
Hey, when you hit the ball more than 400 feet, usually it is good for your team.
And hey, Sean Newcombe. Now that’s a big kid. Maybe we send him after the Somali Pirates next. Yikes!
And what about Ozzie Albies, little guy, big stick. Two home runs. Count ’em.
And Nick Markakis. He’s been having as much trouble hitting baseballs as I have hitting the back of the urinal. What’s with him! My mother says that when they were dating, they went to an Elvis concert. What do I know?
Jerry Blevins. He was awful at stick ball in the neighborhood. Who’d have thought he could play baseball. What a maroon! If he is the answer, what’s the question? Sheesh!
Pitttsburgh. Used to be a lovely town. Now, it’s too sneaky. How can you trust air you can’t see?
These Braves are good. How good do you say? They are so good that the whole state of Pennsylvania hates them. They even went and got them some kind of Kuckoo or something. He’s like a Caesar. He went to Rome and conquered.