Rodney’s Report: Braves 13, Pirates 7

I went to a baseball game and a football game broke out.

What’s with this Gausman? He’s better than my grandmother, but she’s 95.

And Josh Donaldson? You like to run your trap, don’t you? Hey, but that getting Muskrat tossed, man that was a thing of beauty.

Ronald Acuna, Jr., there’s nothing “junior” about him. Somebody said something about salami. Who’s making the sandwiches? But I guess he is kind of like Michael Jackson: he wears a glove but nobody knows exactly why.

Hey, when you hit the ball more than 400 feet, usually it is good for your team.

And hey, Sean Newcombe. Now that’s a big kid. Maybe we send him after the Somali Pirates next. Yikes!

And what about Ozzie Albies, little guy, big stick. Two home runs. Count ’em.

And Nick Markakis. He’s been having as much trouble hitting baseballs as I have hitting the back of the urinal. What’s with him! My mother says that when they were dating, they went to an Elvis concert. What do I know?

Jerry Blevins. He was awful at stick ball in the neighborhood. Who’d have thought he could play baseball. What a maroon! If he is the answer, what’s the question? Sheesh!

Pitttsburgh. Used to be a lovely town. Now, it’s too sneaky. How can you trust air you can’t see?

These Braves are good. How good do you say? They are so good that the whole state of Pennsylvania hates them. They even went and got them some kind of Kuckoo or something. He’s like a Caesar. He went to Rome and conquered.

14 thoughts on “Rodney’s Report: Braves 13, Pirates 7”

  1. Thanks, Cliff. I was already feeling pretty great this morning with that win, all those homers, Keuchel’s start, and first place.

    But your recap may be the best of all.

  2. cliff, thank you. Pittsburgh’s problems are dominated by that crazy sideways railway that creeps up the steep hill with the passengers completely disoriented.

  3. The U.S. ladies soccer team, ranked No. 1 in the world 10 of the last 11 years, kick off their defense of their title at 3pm this afternoon, CBS. They are worth watching, they are good!

  4. I’m looking forward to adding Gausman to the bullpen. It seems to me that if you have the velo and at least one other pitch, you can be effective in the pen. So of all the pitching prospects in the system, I think the only one that gives me pause about whether they can succeed in the pen would be Allard.

    But back to Gausman, I think this is partly why the Braves decided to pass on Kimbrel, especially at those numbers. If you can add a proven starter, I think they think you can probably get 90% of what Kimbrel provides in the pen.

    I think Ryan is correct that Sobotka had been injured, hence his long layoff, so I’m currently lusting for a pen of Jackson, Newcomb, Touki, Gausman, Sobotka, Minter, and Webb. That’s 7 guys, then you have Swarzak, Winkler, whomever fighting for the last spot. That’s a lot of multi-inning, that’s a lot of velo, that’s a lot of potentially unhittable guys.

  5. I’m on a cruiseship that is apparently running the entire ship’s internet off of one America Online dialup connection, so I could only load the boxscore periodically, but it was great to see Camargo, Albies, and Markakis busting out of their slumps. If Donaldson wants to get himself thrown out of more games, then that’s fine by me.

    Speaking of Donaldson, I just wonder if, considering no one seemed to understand why exactly he went off like that, that it’s a result of compounding frustrations with his bat this year. Sometimes when other things are bothering you that are much more important, one of the littlest things can set you off.

  6. Last night’s 5 home runs by the Braves took me back to the first Braves (and mlb) game I ever saw in person. May 20, 1966–Braves v Cubs, two young lefties on the mound, Lemaster vs Holtzman. Braves won 12-2, hitting 5 homers. One each by Aaron, Alou, and Torre, and two by Atlanta native Mack Jones. The Cubbies got two solo shots by Mr Cub Ernie Banks.

    I don’t remember most games I’ve seen since in that kind of detail, but that one is imprinted.

    As a ten year old, I had no way to know that I was watching several future HOFers. I can say that Mack Jones became my favorite Brave for a brief time.

  7. @12 I’m jealous. I saw my first Braves game in the dead 70s. It featured HRs by Luzinski and Schmidt. The Braves did NOT win…… Sigh….

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