See what happens when Cliff gets the travel day?

Game Summary: Ronald hit a homer. The end.

Sure, sure, sure, Sean Newcomb pitched semi-effectively, K’d a few, scattered three walks and two hits over six, but needed 108 pitches to do it. Yeah, the home plate ump was…different sometimes. But I’m not getting excited about five base runners and 100+ pitches over six meager innings, kids.

Charlie Culberson hit a triple at one point, which in no way justified starting him. Shane Carle started the string of mostly effective – I’m looking askance at you, Vizzy – relief pitching. Every time he comes in I shout “CAAAOORL!!! in my worst Rick Grimes impersonation. Ozzie Albies should probably be awarded “the save” for his glove work in the ninth. Far more useful in sealing the win than Vizcaino’s actual pitching.

All that said, it was only the baseball team formerly known as the Devil Rays. Seriously. Kevin Kiermaier is on the DL, Mallex Smith and his future HOF career only got a pinch running appearance. The best hitter on the field for the home team last night was Wilson Ramos. It was only the Rays, man.

Aside from Ronald’s blast, the offense was shut down by Blake Snell, who is surprisingly not a bro-country singer. Snell pitched more or less precisely as effectively as Newk on our side, but did not have Ronald on his. After Snell, a guy named Ryne Stanek threw a couple of shut down innings of relief, which was unexpected, because I swear I saw that guy slangin’ weed out the back of a beat up Impala down the block, two weeks ago. Jesus kid. You make a minimum of a half mil a year. Pay a professional to cut your hair, son.

Jonny Venters pitched the ninth for them. Threw 94 with movement. Didn’t pop a ligament this time. Yay Jonny Venters!

Moving forward, Julio toes the rubber against something called a Ryan Yarbrough tonight, but let’s be honest, I’ll be watching soccer. United carry a seven game unbeaten streak and the status of “best team in American soccer” into their mid-week match against western conference leaders Sporting Kansas City. They follow that up with another weekend tilt in the Benz, this time against regional rivals and home squad of MLS’s version of Bryce Harper’s Douche-hair, Dom Dwyer. Orlando City. It’s funny, because we all know Orlando isn’t a real city.

Central Florida jokes!

Um, otherwise? Matt Ryan recently got even more richer, in both cash and receiving options. The Hawks Tanking Season #1 is mercifully done, and if you didn’t think it was a reasonable thing to do, check out the results of the playoff series between the #1 ranked Toronto Raptors and the #4 ranked Cleveland Cavaliers. The NBA regular season is meaningless, and if you don’t have a top 5 player on your roster, there’s no point in even trying. My buddy Alan is coming home for a visit week of May 19, so there’s a reasonable chance I’ll be at SunTrust one day that week at least? I don’t know, man. It was only the Rays.