Sometimes this team wins like elephants. Last night, for example, was a stampede of pachydermia across the remainder of Daisuke Matsuzaka’s American baseball career. Other times, like tonight, they’re more reptilian. Crocodiles. Just lurking. Waiting. Nothing but a pair of cold dead orbs above the placid surface of the black water. Eying the poor, stupid herd-beast at the water’s edge. Frigid. Patient. Killing stare.

The deer-like fools thinks they’re going to get away with a cool drink of water and BAM! El Oso Blanco resurgens! Deep fly to deep left. WHAM! The Reason with to the same spot, ten rows deeper. And at that point, it’s just a matter of the bullpen death roll and the sad, wayward beestie’s last helpless bleats.

Good things from tonight?

Kris Medlen, 7 IP, 9 K, 1 earned.
Bossman Junior with 2 more hits.
The Bear back in the bigs, 3 for 3 with a big fly.
Jason Heyward cleared to resume baseball activities.

In other news, I spent the first 7 innings streaming Banshee off of Cinemax. Because Amish gangsters, that’s why. Who wants to watch the boring stalking part when you can just flip over to see the kill shot?