So, a 10-2 win in Denver is more or less a 5-0 win anywhere else, which makes Julio Teheran’s turn in the order last night all the more impressive. Yes, the offense hit more home runs, which is to be expected, but the real talk track out of yesterday’s double dip should be Mike Minor, Teheran and the various relievers of the day holding any team to five runs over 18 innings in mile high air. That’s hella impressive.

Okay, jacking six HRs and barely missing three or four more is also hella impressive. But at some point, you sort of stop noticing the fact that you’re sleeping with a supermodel, right?

The Rockies took a brief lead in the bottom of the third by scraping three singles together. Michael Cuddyer, who continues to rake, drove in that one. But then Teheran got the human pinball gaming system to fly out to Melvin and the threat was over. At that point, Atlanta’s offense went to work. Freddie Freeman continued to prove his case for “wow, we really missed that guy” by walking in front of Juan Francisco’s blast into the RF seats. Braves lead, 2-1. Gerald Laird followed that up with a single, and then, the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen happened. I’ll just go directly to the gamecast play-by-play feed.

“With Andrelton Simmons batting, Gerald Laird steals (1) 2nd base.”

Go ahead. Try to wrap your mind around that one, kids. As Laird getting a hit and then following it up with a stolen base wasn’t enough of a set phasers to stun moment, Success! then drove him in with a single to center. I’m still trying to get my rational brain to process the fact that the Braves’ third run came via a Laird hit, a Laird SB, and a Jordan Schafer RBI single. The only thing that makes any sense to me in that entire sequence was Andrelton Simmons making a useless out between the SB and the RBI. Unfathomable.

Teheran went out in bottom-four and did exactly what you want after you score three, going 1-2-3 against the lower half of the Rox order, getting the Braves back into the hitter’s box quickly. That turned out well, with the Uptons going yard back to back, the first time that’s happened since the Waners of Pittsburgh did it 75 years ago, and only the second time brothers have ever hit back to back jacks in MLB history. So that was interesting. Also of interest; Justin Upton has homered in every game his big brother has homered in for Atlanta, and his solo shot here increased his April HR totals to 97, which is good.

At that point, up 5-1, Julio Teheran went to work and was pretty damned awesome. The offense tacked on five more, to make it silly, and Cory Gearrin and Jordan Walden were defrosted from cryo to mop up the eighth and ninth, but the primary story out of game two should really be Teheran’s seven innings of 1-run ball in the thin air, and the fact that Gerald Friggin’ Laird stole second.

As a final note from yesterday’s play, the outfielders replacing Jason Heyward in right field went a combined 6 for 8, bringing their daily total hits (6) to within one of Jason Heyward’s total hits for the year (7.) Which isn’t to say we’re looking to Pipp the guy, but damn.