Los Angeles, Spanish for “The Angels“, is technically the nation’s second-largest city and metropolitan area, but is really more of a place where a whole lot of people happen to live than an actual municipality. The borders of the L.A. metropolitan area are indistinct and at times reach into several adjoining states and the sovereign nation of Mexico. This explains why the city’s other baseball team is in Anaheim and its football teams are in Oakland and St. Louis.
The city’s primary industry is entertainment, divided into the film industry, which is supported by $10 movie tickets and $7 cokes, the television industry, which is supported by cable subscriptions and inexplicable donations by large multinational corporations in order to get television networks to show short films produced on their behalf which nobody watches “Advertising”, and the music industry, which does not currently exist. The city’s second most important industry is restaurants, which employ 93 percent of the people who work in the entertainment industry. It is estimated that every 17 minutes, a patron at a Los Angeles restaurant walks out without ever having received his meal, as his server neglected to enter it after receiving a callback for a role as a corpse on a CSI.
The most popular hobbies for Los Angelinos include tanning, spray tanning, bleaching, dieting, binging, purging, plastic surgery, joining cults, talking loudly on Bluetooth headsets, and rioting. The tallest building in Los Angeles is known as the Library Tower even though nobody in Los Angeles has ever been seen with a book.
Los Angeles is noted for its many highways, which enable residents to reach their destinations by automobile almost as quickly as they could have walked. The city also maintains an extensive subway system, which is primarily used by filmmakers shooting movies set in New York. The most important bodies of water in the Los Angeles area are the Los Angeles River, which is a concrete drainage ditch with no fluid in it and is mostly used to film drag races for movies, and the Salton Sea, which is primarily made up of industrial pollutants.
The most popular professional athletes in Los Angeles are a rapist and an autistic savant. The most popular and important amateur athlete in Los Angeles history is a double murderer; the most popular and important amateur athlete of the last decade in Los Angeles took a pay cut after being the second pick in the National Football League draft and currently backs up an undrafted free agent from the University of Illinois.
The official state animal of California is the little yappy dog that fits in a small purse.
Perfection.
Mac, you’ve outdone yourself.
lol….fantastic.
Greatest description of a city. Ever.
Mac, haven’t been on the blog for a couple of days, but the last two game threads were great.
My wife is on the 145 to LA from Atlanta, I hope some one shares there piece of flight attendant with her.
Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate!
Well done
Well done Mac, one more reason I love this site!!
Prado 2B
Infante 3B
Heyward RF
Glaus 1B
Escobar SS
Cabrera LF
Ross C
McLouth CF
Kawakami P
I’ve been to LA few times myself, and I couldnt have described it any better. I’ve spent alot more time in San Diego (x-navy) and like that city much better. Great write up Mac!
You were right, I enjoyed it.
And by the way, I’d love to pay $10 for a movie ticket. $12.75 at my local Manhattan Beach multiplex, which inevitably leads me to remark “Yeah, because 13 bucks would be ridiculous”. And my wife to reply “You think that’s funny, but it’s really not funny”. The lesson, as is the lesson of all my stories, is…well you know.
#10 – I live in LA but really any rational person would like San Diego much better.
LONG RANT:
Everybody see another umpire went on the attack yesterday? He missed a strike three call on the inside corner, and Kendall let him know it, without ever turning around, looking at him, or gesticulating. The ump then called time-out with Zack Greinke in the stretch, came around and squatted in front of Jason Kendall to berate him for daring to question his authority.
This brought out Ned Yost, who got right in his face and ripped him o shreds. After Yost left the field, the ump got BACK in Kendall’s face, and Kendall still restrained himself.
Part of the problem is, this guy, Mike Eastabrook, was a minor league ump, up for the day, or the week, much like the umpire we had last night in the Braves-Dodgers game. You could see Russell Martin going after the guy a few times at-bat, and likely he had been all game behind the plate. Andre Eithier crossed a line in his at-bat in the eighth, going farther than most umps would allow. (Our ump handled it all beautifully, I think, and had a great strike zone, and made a very difficult play (correctly) on the Blake Dewitt slide.)
Players will do that, though. They know every umpire in the league, and when there’s a new guy back there, they ride him, try to get him riled, upset him, cause him to lose control of the game, try to make him question himself.
And they might have been working him all series, questioning fair and foul, safe and out at the bases.
I think that’s why we see so many problems with the same umpires, Bill Hohn specifically. Players know they can press buttons with Hohn, and that they can ‘work him,’ so they do.
Personally, I think this can be rolled into the ‘instant replay debate.’ I think Major League Baseball has been allowed to frame the debate here, and their cries of ‘longer games’ and ‘umpire authority’ aren’t properly questioned.
If you expand every crew to be a 5-man crew, with the fifth in the press box, and allow the fifth to watch the game on a monitor, he can correct missed calls on the field through an ear piece worn by the crew-chief. Baseball could give him prior directions on what calls to correct, run-scoring, close and late, what have you, not on balls and strikes, yes or no on check-swings. These directions don’t even have to be made public if they choose not to make them public. Baseball already sends internal memos, spurring trends such as ‘call high strikes,’ ‘watch for balks,’ ‘watch runners in the running lane to first.’ Just tell us “we have a guy watching to make sure we get the calls right.”
This takes control of replay away from managers, doesn’t allow them to come out and demand a replay, which is where the ‘length of games’ argument comes from. Every single play is being watched, just like the official scorer is doing.
Further, with the call coming passively on high, from a fellow umpire, and being voiced by the crew-chief, the umpires authority isn’t so much in question. They were helped by a colleague, not called out by a league official.
Additionally, this gives umpires one out of five days to get off the field, and rest their legs. The umps don’t leave the field between innings like the players do. This rolls rest in to their rotation.
AND, it can help diffuse situations like today’s. Get that guy off the field for one day every series or so, so he’s not coming into Friday’s game still mad at X player for Thursday’s argument.
I just don’t get the arguments against it, except for the sentimental ones. There are many benefits. Most importantly, getting calls right.
Video and quotes are here. Really disgusting. Estabrook is a c*nt.
More LA:
America’s dirtiest cities – US and Canada- msnbc.com.
#12 – To me the whole thing seems unmanageable. Prado hits a chopper to third and is thrown out on a bang-bang play. The Braves think he was safe, so maybe Bobby comes out to argue or Heyward takes a while to get in the box to give the replay ump maximum time to look at replays. Then just before the first pitch the umps pager goes off and he announces ‘The replay guy says safe’, so Prado scrambles to find his helmet and gloves and takes first. Meanwhile Charlie Manual comes out to argue for no reason since they guy he wants to argue with is nowhere to be found. The whole thing takes an hour to decide if the game starts 5-3 or man on first, nobody out which – in the grand scheme of things – isn’t terribly important.
I hope it never happens. Stalling is already too big a part of the game. Review homers and that’s it.
#14 – Apparently we are also #4 is most attractive people (behind San Diego of course) and second from the bottom in friendliness.
Sounds about right.
My idea is a light system–red and green. On disputed calls, there’s an official in the booth who checks out the replays. If the call is “positive”–a runner is safe, a homer is fair, etc.–then the official lights the green light. If the call is “negative”–a runner is out, a homer is foul–he lights the red light. The umpires no longer leave the field and the official booth ruling is not subject to argument. This process should take no more than one to one and a half minutes.
I’m a film student in Alabama, and I’ll probably be heading out to around L.A. and become one of those people working in a restaurant once I graduate in a few months. =/
At least I’m not going to be another would-be actor though, right?
Most baseball plays would be easy to correct from the first angle, this isn’t football that needs slow-mo from 8 angles and freeze frames to get the right call.
Saito DL’d. Kimbrel recalled.
I really can’t imagine anything close to the situation you described Robert.
The ump up there is watching the play live, aswell, and reviews as needed.
The umps are really good. They get those close bang-bang plays right the VAST majority of the time. They’d be reviewing only ones considered to be important; beating the throw so the runner can score, and tag plays. And they’d be reviewing them in real time.
The TV crews have time to show us two replays before the next pitch is thrown. I don’t see any 40 second delays.
And these anticipated ‘delays’ would be much, much briefer than having the managers run on to the field and argue. The ump can tell the manager ‘They saw it upstairs, Bobby, it ain’t me. He’s really out.’
Managers coming on to the field is silly and a bit archaic to begin with. They never win. Lately, they’ve earned umpires huddling and reviewing. THIS slows the game down. If you’re reviewing the plays live, you can keep managers in the dugouts.
And I think managers would argue less if they knew the play was right, and if they knew they couldn’t earn a make-up call by complaining. And start throwing them out and fining them if they can’t stay in the dugouts.
I’d argue that instant replay would reduce manager arguments and could actually SPEED UP games.
You think there won’t be arguments still? Ha.
I hope there’s enough work for Kimbrel!
They used fines to stop managers and players contacting umpires physically. They used fines to greatly reduce beanball wars, and newspaper comments calling out officials and the league.
If guys are thrown out and fined for arguing, and fined more if they don’t leave quickly, it would be greatly reduced.
@19,
A little surprised it’s not Resop, actually.
@23,
Makes me wonder if they’re trying to keep Resop’s value high for a potential trade.
Possible. But I don’t see how a brief showcase of Resop could be worse for the team than carrying Cristhian Martinez around to do nothing.
Mac, your post is a thing of beauty. Bravo.
#37 from the orevious thread.
If Moylan is getting drunk before a game with the rival Phillies, then his a– needs to be placed in Gwinnett for a week.
I am not saying guys can’t blow off steam and have a beer. They should. A season can be stressful and it’s relaxing to have a drink. But getting plastered the night before an important divisional game shouldn’t be tolerated by a key guy in the back end of the bullpen.
Awesome.
Well, he’s Australian, so at pretty much any time Moylan’s at least a little drunk.
Last time I got drunk (last August), I threw a chair through a window and told my friend I wanted to have intercourse with his girlfriend’s bosom. I wonder what Moylan does…
Just an average night for any Australian.
Mac, hilarious.
sdp, I want to hang out with you.
Last time I got drunk was March in Biloxi and I ended up losing 200 dollars at the casino that night. Losing that much money that fast is a major buzzkill, in case you couldn’t figure that out by yourself.
I think that Moylan was intentionally getting Phillies players drunk, knowing full well that he is Australian and functions that way all the time.
lol, billy-jay. I’m not as fun lately. Drinking like that isn’t really up my alley very often.
That’s cool, man. I try to not have that much fun very often.
I really can’t imagine anything close to the situation you described Robert.
The TV crews have time to show us two replays before the next pitch is thrown. I don’t see any 40 second delays.
Oh please. Queuing up the replays, watching them a couple of times, communicating to the ground ump, communicating to the rest of the umps, communicating to the players to get everyone on the same page with the new result. You’ll blow threw 40 seconds times 10.
You’ve got to put some sort of limit on the number of players. Give a manager one challenge a game or something. We’ve got years of evidence in football that the replay process is not a quick one.
Hey Mac, how was Bama baseball this year? It’s looking like Tech is gonna play them tomorrow and I don’t know a thing about them.
They were streaky. They started out great, collapsed in the middle of the conference season and looked like they’d miss the SEC tournament, then rolled off a bunch of wins in a row and made it in and all the way to the final before losing in extras. And then yesterday the DH was diagnosed with cancer.
Last time I got drunk is right now. I’ll let you know if anything memorable occurs. I also happen to be in an exceptionally foul mood, having lost a friend to a ridiculous motorcycle today, so odds are quite good.
Mac that was pretty damn funny….I especially enjoyed the part about Reggie Bush.
spike,
Sorry to hear that. Hang in there.
Sorry, spike.
Man, spike. I’m sorry for your loss.
Another hypertensive save from “K-Rod.”
Win streak is in danger tonight with Kershaw on the mound.
I still say getting first on a passed ball after a strikeout is the dumbest rule in baseball.
Spike – I’m also sorry about the loss of your friend. Just make sure you take care of yourself tonight and be careful.
Ah. Nothing copious amounts of scotch, stout and Sarah Vaughn won’t get me through. Sorry to have posted that actually – anyway, a tough lefty tonight. A terrific game to win. let’s go Braves.
You are not improving my mood, Ken.
Did Alabama beat Elon this afternoon?
Bama 11, Elon 2
It looks like we got the Kawakami from the 1st of the season tonight
It’s feeling like a Jesse Chavez kind of night.
Could have been much worse, but that’s a big hill to climb now.
I guess Kawakami just isn’t that good.
Jurrjens. Jurrjens. Jurrjens.
38,000 feet above America, flying to Seatle.
Anyone got a link to listen to the game? No luck w/ 680 or rock 100.5
KK is a fine 5th starter, but when JJ gets back he is our 6th best starter.
See ya in the bullpen KK.
so I guess McCann is in a freaking platoon now?
Kimbrel and Chavez needs to pitch about 3 innings apiece tonight, keep Wagner and Moylan off the field, take our lumps, and go get ’em tomorrow.
Kershaw is just dirty.
Kimbrel is en route. Probably won’t make the game.
Well then pick the best looking hot dog salesman out of the stands. We’ve just won 9 straight. Save face and arms and start another streak tomorrow. I really hope we don’t screw the rest of the road trip because we wanna salvage a game tonight.
How long do you stomach McOut regardless of salary? He’s making Francoeur look like DiMaggio.
I hate Nate.
See what I did there?
Kawakami appears to have nothing tonight.
Man, I have seen about enough of Kawakami and Melkey tonight!
*sigh* well, I’m calling it a night.
I could hit .179 in the big leagues. I’ll do it for a lot less than McOut. I’m a pretty good outfielder, too.
Even Joe is fed up with McOut.
Win streak over.
This could easily be 6 or 7-0 at this point.
McLouth’s OPS is more than 70 points lower than Ethier’s slugging percentage.
I think the McLouth experiment has about run it’s course here.
I don’t particularly care what Schafer is doing in AAA. I feel at this point, he’s got a better chance to figure it out than McLousy does.
If (and it’s a big IF) KK stops the bleeding, this team can get five runs in seven innings. ‘Taint over. Gross. Taint.
I think you have to leave McOut out there and hope he figures it out while Schafer develops.
I’m not sure about that. Schafer was pretty horrific last year. I’d throw Melk Dud in center and platoon Hinske and Mitch Jones in left until Diaz gets back.
Heyward is officially in a slump.
@74: I’m convinced the reason Schafer was so bad after the early start was the wrist injury. I think once he’s completely recovered and has caught back up, he’ll be back in ATL.
They’re making it look like he is throwing 99 MPH.
Attaboy, Yunie.
Heyward and Glaus fail, and Escobar and Cabrera deliver. This is indeed a strange and disturbing universe.
Ah, but you can always count on Nate McConstantfailure.
Why are people seemingly so enthralled with Kimbrel? Seems like the type of pitcher who would frequently have one of those reliever nightmare innings: walks and a lot of 3-0 and 3-1 count base hits.
Well, because he’s not like Jesse Chavez, who will always have innings like that.
I’ll take Schafer over Nate, yesterday. And Nate hit an important double yesterday.
Schafer is not particularly young for a prospect. And his struggles last year can be at least partially attributed to a wrist that NEEDED SURGERY. He wasn’t playing ‘hurt,’ he was playing broken.
A rookie, with rookie pressure, trying to learn the highest league, and doing it with a broken wrist. I think you gotta throw it out and let him try again.
Dan, Kimbrel throws the ball harder than all but a few men on Earth, and gets AAA batters to miss it very frequently. Even a modest improvement in control makes him a fine major-league closer. Chavez, on the other hand, does nothing hundreds of other relievers don’t do as well or better.
Better the chance of greatness than certain mediocrity.
82 –Well, he still doesn’t have a whole lot of PAs in the upper minors, and he hasn’t figured out Triple A yet.
He’s hitting in Gwinnett like McLouth is hitting in the majors.
Actually, he’s hitting a bit worse.
I don’t disagree Schafer offers more, but he’s got to hit again in the minors before getting that kind of consideration. He’s not done anything so far.
The bitter truth is that this team is strongest with Melky in center.
Chavez, on the other hand, does nothing hundreds of other relievers don’t do as well or better.
I didn’t say anything about Chavez.
Saying Kimbrel isn’t all that inspiring an option right now isn’t tantamount to wanting Jesse Chavez out there.
You’re right, but Chavez is still relevant. Assuming we don’t carry eight relievers, Kimbrel would have to replace someone. Enthusiasm about Kimbrel would be misplaced if there wasn’t someone replaceable in the bullpen. Chavez is very replaceable.
Braves are getting some good swings on Kershaw. (Not Infante on that one though). We need Heyward to break out of his slump and Glaus to drive him in with a homer next inning and we’re tied.
Chavez is striking out a ton, though. Is his hr/fb rate high or something? Is his fastball just that straight? Seems such a high k-rate should manifest itself in somewhat better results.
87 — I think McLouth will have better numbers at the end of the year than Melky.
Are we still carrying Cristhian Martinez, or no?
If we are, we need to swap him out for Resop so we don’t lose his rights, showcase him (also see if he’s for real) and then make a decision on him.
With Saito on the DL, we have Wagner, Moylan, O’Flaherty, Venters, Chavez, Martinez, and Kimbrel, right? Swap Martinez for Resop. When Jurrjens returns, and KK or Medlen goes back to the pen, the least effective of Resop, Kimbrel, and Chavez goes down.
The Lisp is still here, yes.
Also, I understand what everyone is saying about Schafer. I know he isn’t playing well down there.
I still think we’re a better team with Schafer than McLouth. Schafer has better speed, better power, and a better arm.
If they both hit .220 this year, Schafer helps you win more games, in my opinion.
I think the reason Mitch Jones is still in Gwinnett is because of his .283 OBP, BTW.
lame strike 3 call.
Terrible call. Always seem to get those when you’re struggling.
Wow…Gerry Davis could try to eff the Braves a little harder. That call to Heyward was horrible– the pitch was 4 inches outside and low. And he’s not giving the same call to KK. (Not to echo the other Chip, but he’s right on this one.)
It seems the only way to get a called strike tonight is to be left-handed and throw to a left-handed batter.
And since our guy’s a righty…
I think Davis is a graduate from the Francoeur school of umpiring..
While the pitcher winds up, guess if he’ll throw a ball or strike, and then commit to it.
Score some damn runs!
Through 5, Kawakami – 81 pitches. Kershaw – 82. A couple of baserunners and maybe we can get Kershaw out after the 6th.
Great freakin’ bunt by Ross!
david ross is a stud…and i’ve drank way too many pbr’s tonight…which i never drink
Melk….. dud.
He was safe! SEND IT TO THE COMMISSIONER’S OFFICE!
Dammit Melky. Although he was safe.
Son of a….
Jesus…
Cabrera’s at least being inventively useless.
melky was safe…f u umpires of the world.
This is why I want Schafer. Anything to keep these guys the hell off the field.
He looked safe, but it shouldn’t have been so close.
And a gigantic GAH by Melky. Geez Louise.
That inning went from promising to over in the blink of an eye. Already three outs.
Christ. That was fast. Went from a potential big inning to over in a span of two minutes.
is there any question that medlen should be the 5th starter when jj comes back?
We could try Blanco, I guess.
Two bad innings + Four good innings + KK’s customary run support = 0-8.
Vin Scully is really really good at his job. It’s odd that he and Chip Carey are both human beings technically doing the same thing.
If I’m ever sentenced to death I want Vin Scully to tell me.
6 IP and 4 ER is not too bad from the 5th starter. Medlen is obviously better, though.
Now would be a good time for Heyward to break out of it.
Wow. Heyward.
I hate Golden Sombreros.
Giving his best Jordan Francoeur impression.
Sometimes a guy just has your number. Kenshaw has Heyward’s.
Ole…
Oh, Baltimore. Nothing like firing your manager and then coming out and getting crushed 11-0.
YUNIE!!!!
I LOVE MANNY!
YUNEL!
Chip Caray about destroyed a vocal cord.
Alright, Yunel!
Manny being Manny!
@ 132 we can only wish
Wow, Manny is just awful in LF. It’s still hard for me to believe that somebody who gets paid as much as he does to be a baseball player is so uninterested in one of the big parts of the game.
Of course Melk Dud didn’t come through. Even if he didn’t suck, the laws of the universe prevent KK from winning a game.
Edit: On the other hand, at least he won’t be 0-8.
Yunel’s average creeps up to .238…and he has 19 BBs to just 13 Ks.
Manny sure does take some curious routes in the outfield and it’s nice he didn’t really try to strain himself with Glaus running from first.
i keep falling asleep i don’t know how much longer i can make it, i slept through yunel’s entire at bat and didn’t realize it til i saw the score and saw it was 4-4
@140: That’s okay. So did Manny. He woke up around the same time you did.
I’m surprised Bobby is sending KK out there to face the middle of the order…this could be a mistake.
I wouldn’t send KK out to face this part of the order. So far, so good.
Can we finally get KK onto the W side?
Caught an ugly beatdown at Camden Yards tonight—Bos 11, Bal 0.
Yes, the Sawx Nation was in effect. Senior groups, kids groups, drunk-ass groups. It was Sawxzilla on steroids.
But it was a nice night, a ballgame and one at Camden Yards, so what’s not to like?
And Spike, I feel you, bro.
Ethier can do no wrong.
142-43: Cox figures it out, three batters too late.
Awwwwwwww, shoot.
Cox just wanted Kawakami to get the loss.
This stuff with KK is too much, you couldn’t script this.
Whoever had the 8th as the Jesse Chavez Memorial Inning in the pool, you’re the winner!
Garret Anderson reminds us that it is, in fact, possible to be more useless than McLousy and Melk Dud.
There are few sights more reassuring that watching Garret Anderson come to the plate with two outs in an opposing uniform.
@152: It’d only be better if it was in the 9th, with the Braves in the lead.
C’mon, Jason, no better time to atone…
Is Heyward pressing? Seems like he’s swinging at everything today.
I hate platinum sombreros even more than golden ones.
Ouch…ugly one for Heyward. Tough– a winnable game, which given the pitching matchup is hard to believe.
Proud of us for fighting back. Bound to lose one eventually.
Jason. My God.
I think he’s probably pressing, yeah. I’m certainly not worried at this point. But strikeouts have been the bane of his brief major league existence.
Recapped.