128 thoughts on “I am not continuing the conceit but rest assured I still think Francoeur is a giant whiny baby game thread: July 25, Braves at Phillies”

  1. Dang, I’m laughing so hard one of my colleagues has asked me whats so funny.

    I swear if we see Hampton on the mound this weekend I’ll shit my dress.

  2. Frenchy couldn’t even get one right in this Hidden Pictures.

    You’re supposed to find the baseballs.

  3. Who’s this Hampton guy they’re saying is going to pitch tomorrow? Is this some sort of experiment, like when Li’l Tony pitched for the Royals the other day?

  4. I think Hampton will take the mound on Saturday… and blow out his rotator cuff with his last warmup pitch.

  5. Don’t forget, Hampton managed inure himself in his pregame warmup in April this year…there’s still time.

  6. Hampton still has to tie his shoes, eat & go to the bathroom. I’m rooting for him, but I damn-sure wouldn’t make any bets.

  7. Which means he’s going to tear a tendon sheath in his left trigger finger, sever his foot, contract salmonella and blow out his O-ring.

  8. Don’t forget take a shower – think of the slip and fall potential.

    Maybe he wants to shape the goat’ so that he looks sharp for his much anticipated return to baseball – think of the razor injury potential.

    Plus he has to get in the car and ride to the park – think of the car wreck potential.

    Plus he could get food poisoning.

    Or he stub his toe.

    We’re in Philadelphia, maybe he’ll take a wrong turn, end up in Camden, and get mugged within an inch of his life…it could happen.

    I’m just saying, there’s still a long way to go. And as that Sports South commercial says, The Braves have a flair for the dramatic. Hampton definitely fits this description, as we learned in April when he waited until the final hour before the game to injure himself. It really makes me wonder what he’s got up his sleeve this time?

  9. I really want to watch this game now, just in the small % chance that Hampton makes it into the game.

    The Braves/Phillies or Yankees/RedSox are on Fox, which means I cant see it on MLB.tv. Does anyone know how to tell which game will be scheduled regionally, so I can know if I need to find a bar, or watch it at home? (I have a bad feeling the Braves wont be the selection anywhere but GA and PA)

  10. I bet tomorrow’s game gets rained out and Hampton twists/spraines an ankle on the slippery dugout floor. He’ll get treament, but will miss 2-4 weeks and then start a rehab assignment.

  11. Avery,
    Dunno where you live, but I would guess that much of the Southeast will get the Braves tomorrow.

    I could certainly be wrong, but I can’t imagine that Dothan, Charleston or Chattanooga would get Sawx-Yanks.

  12. Hampton is pissed. The Braves have placed him in a full body cast, in a padded room, with 24 hour surveillance until 10 minutes prior to game time tomorrow.

  13. It doesn’t say much for the team’s opinion of Reyes that with the season in the balance vs a top division rival they are bumping him for a guy who hasn’t pitched in 3 years.

  14. Well Morton’s being bumped for a guy who’s lost something like his last 5 starts (not that wins and losses are great stats) so you wonder how he feels.

  15. well, the chipperless lineup looks about as good as it can considering baby jeff is not batting 3rd.

    blanco
    esco
    texaco
    mccanno
    marko
    baby jeffo
    kj-o
    prado

  16. Regardless of what happens tonight or the rest of this year, if Jurrjens has shown us anything this year, it’s that he’s tough as nails. That inning=Exhibit A.

    Walk the speedy Victorino, and then have him advance to third on a bad throw with only one out and Utley and Howard coming up in the first inning of your first start at Philly? No problem.

  17. Corky sitting next to Chipper on the bench is like parking a double wide next to Versailles.

  18. How is that bad luck for Infante, Joe? Yeah, it was a hard hit ball, but it should have been an out. It hit the pitcher square in the glove and bounced out! How did we let Don Sutton go and keep these jokers around? I really wish the radio was in closer sync with the TV. Pete and Lemke are much better.

  19. I like Joe Simpson more than Sutton.

    Chip Caray, on the other hand, is in my opinion the worst baseball announcer. And that includes Tim McCarver, Joe Buck, Joe Morgan and the rest of those guys that have internet hate sites dedicated to them.

  20. It changes. Tonight, the radio is behind, which is less annoying than ahead, but still annoying.

    Don Sutton was at least a good baseball player, and I valued his opinion. Joe was a horrible player. Chip and Joe together bring out the worst in each other.

    Frank,

    Is Josh better than Chip? BTW, I owe you an e-mail, but I have just been distracted with my family out of town. I’ll get back to you next week.

  21. Josh Caray is better than idiot Chip. He’s much more subdued and doesn’t seem like he’s doing a Jim Carrey imitation. Josh is low-key like his dad, though he lacks his dad’s wit. He probably realizes he can’t get away with some of things his dad can.

    McCann!

    Bunch of rumors that the Bucs have dealt Nady; not sure to whom.

    Might be the Yanks.

  22. I liked Sutton. When it came to pitching, he knew what he was talking about, which was great in the era of the Braves’ Big 3.

    IMO, John Sterling, the Yankees’ radio guy, is the worst announcer in the history of American sports.

    Not only is he annoying & overwrought, he’s inaccurate. He doesn’t tell the truth. On radio, that’s a brutal combo.

    (To make matters worse for the listener, Yankee radiocasts have more in-game commercials than previously thought possible.)

    Phil Mushnick, one of the NY Post’s few truth-tellers, today on Sterling’s latest airwaves adventure:
    http://tinyurl.com/5wxgz3

  23. I also heart McCann. (And I was going to post Nady and Marte to the Yankees is the rumor, but Frank edited his post to add that information. For what it’s worth, SI.com is reporting it’s for 4 minor leaguers.)
    I miss Skip Caray calling the tv games quite a bit. I also liked Don a lot.

  24. What was that “rumor” Simpson was talking about? He said there is a rumor the Braves have a deal in place to acquire Jason Bay.

    Not sure where he got that though.

  25. The rumor is:
    The Yankees have traded for OF Xavier Nady and LHP Damaso Marte. No word on who the Bucs got yet. OF Prospects Jose Tabata and Austin Jackson could be a part of the package heading to the Pirates..

  26. That’s why the Pirates are stupid. They could have gotten more from those two, assuredly.

  27. I’m getting commercials here. Women’s basketball and professional lacrosse and Georgia Tech sports and other things no right-thinking human being would ever watch.

  28. The Lemmer and Chip should form an HWS admiration society. What will it take to convince these bozos that he sucks?

  29. If Francoeur actually gets a hit, but nobody sees it because Peachtree sucks, did he really get a hit? I say no.

    And that’s a… bad thing, Douglass?

  30. Yeah, the Pirates just traded not one, but two of their most coveted players and didn’t even get Austin Jackson. New guys in the front office, same old results it looks like.

  31. I can’t believe that was the best offer that Pittsburgh could get. I can’t believe the Braves couldn’t beat that. How annoying. Do they really still not realize we need a right fielder?

  32. I know these rumors have apparently been shot down, but just for the sake of conversation…who are we giving up for Jason Bay in the rumors? I would need to know that before I express my disapproval.

  33. Maybe it’s the Pirates way of saying “thanks for the nice revenue sharing checks!”.

  34. How bitter will Jeffy be in 10 years time when his buddy McCann has followed the Dale Murphy career arc and is playing RF while he is reduced to selling insurance or pushing Viagra for Pfizer?

  35. While it might not be a mutually exclusive gig to viagra salesman, I see Frenchy moving on to become a televangelist. He’s got all the tools you look for in a good televangelist prospect: the local-weatherman good looks, meager intellectual acumen, and most importantly, insatiable greed – not to mention widespread name recognition across the bible belt. He’s really better cut out for it at this point than playing baseball when you think about it.

  36. And looking at the media section of his website, it looks like he’s already started practicing. Good for him. *snicker*

  37. The Gwinnett Braves are going to need a mascot. Might I suggest “Hackey the Clown”? Jeffy’s already got the makeup.

  38. You’re right…viagra sales are really more in the realm of the pretty ladies. Francoeur will have the perfect backstory for his conversion to the ministry. Jeebus had a plan for his life but Jeff originally thought that was playing baseball. It was only through 3 consecutive seasons in the negative VORP wilderness that he realized his true calling is fleecing the faithful. Sorry…this is getting strange.

  39. Goofus was recruited to play defensive back for a major college (well, Clemson) but has been unable to use his supposed speed in any way on the basepaths.

    Gallant is one of the slowest players in the majors, but is 3-3 on stolen bases this season.

  40. More HRs the rest of the season, Hampton or Francoeur?

    (Or higher SLG or BA if you prefer)

  41. Maybe Jeff Francoeur can play the Joker in the next Batman movie (hope I didn’t ruin anything for the 6 people left in the world who haven’t seen The Dark Knight). He has to be crazy to think his approach is working…

    Oh! I’ll be here all weekend…

  42. re 80:

    Regarding Francoeur’s VORP ranking, notice that of the players with a worse rating than him, only Freddy Sanchez for Pittsburgh has played as much as Jeffy…none of the other people in that range have played half as much as they have.

  43. @ 85

    I’ve always found it bizarre that many of the same people that insist that stats don’t matter are proponents of the guy who only pitches in the 9th inning when a save can be tallied…or maybe it’s just Chip Caray.

  44. Anyone catch this jab by Joe Sheehan in his bp chat today?

    nick (sfo): Is Ricky Weeks going to turn it around this year?

    Joe Sheehan: Yes. But I’m not particularly credible on this subject. Now ask me about Jeff Francaeiour.

    uptick (St. Louis, MO): ok, i’ll take the bait…how about Francoeur from now until the end of the season?

    Joe Sheehan: He’ll convert oxygen into carbon dioxide. I’m not predicting anything past that.

    Sounds like something I’ve read on Braves Journal before…

  45. …I don’t even need to say anything.

    I literally got up and jumped around my room for that one.

  46. McCann’s da man!

    I guess we didn’t want to risk breaking our streak with a one-run win.

    So JJ has to pitch eight shutout innings before his team gets the offense going. I guess better late than never.

  47. Maybe Francoeur can pull a Brandon Inge and come down with a pillow-straightening injury?

  48. I cannot even understand this. These are the Phillies…in Philadelphia…and this was a close/late situation…and we just scored 6 runs.

  49. B-Mac has his season line up to .302/.379/.568 (.947ops) 20 HR, 62 RBI….not bad for a catcher.

  50. WE WERE PLAYING SMALL BALL BRO! BLANCOS BNUT SINGLE GOT US GOING!!111

  51. Just got some blather from Chip about bloggers blasting Hampton’s injuries. Chip says Hampton has a chance to silence his critics tomorrow.

    What can we do to silence Chip?

  52. How long will I have to listen to Mark Lemke? This just in from “the Lemmer”…”The Phillies haven’t played very well in the division. If you take away their record against the Braves they’re only 19-18 in the East”.

  53. I’m out until Tuesday. Look for me in the rightfield bleachers heckling HWS on Monday and Tuesday.

  54. Hey Mac – you need to come clean and admit that you ripped off the Braves Goofus and Gallant bit from Rowland’s Office. You know you did – they’ve been doing it for a couple of months over there.

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