ESPN – Cubs vs. Braves Box Score, June 8 2007 – MLB

Lance Cormier is remarkable. I mean it, the man gave up four homers (three to the same guy!) and walked six in only three and two-thirds innings and only gave up five runs total. That’s actually very impressive.

Seriously, the man is a shame on my university and home town and must be destroyed.

Not that it mattered a whole lot; most any pitcher would have lost given the typical woeful outing by the home team. The Braves got one run in the third, KJ tripling with one out (after Bobby inexplicably didn’t hit for Cormier, who had only given up two of the three homers he would give up to Alfonso Soriano alone) and coming home on an infield single by Escobar. But Renteria and Andruw made outs, that was the end of the scoring threat and essentially the game after Cormier allowed a couple more homers. The Vulture gave up another run, then after a good inning from Moylan it was two runs off of Boyer and one off of Paronto. The bullpen sucks almost as much as the offense.

The Braves had six hits, two by Escobar, who I guess hasn’t been up long enough to catch the malaise. Chipper, if you have to strap the bat to your wrists, we need you.

Those who need to be destroyed, other than Cormier: Paronto, Woodward, Orr, Thorman (“Captain Popup”). Come to think of it, let’s just ban Canadians entirely. They may still be bitter about that whole upside-down-flag thing.