What happens when the back half of the roster goes ape? We win by a forfeit.

Just about anything you could have wanted, you got: Austin Riley had a couple of hits including a two-run single; Ha-Seong Kim made a couple nice plays and went 1-3 with a walk at the bottom of the lineup; Sean Murphy and Ronald Acuña each hit three-run blasts.

The last four hitters in the lineup, Murphy-Yaz-Riley-Kim, went 7-16 with two walks and six ribbies, and that’s a pretty good prescription for a pretty good day. Oh, and Ronald had three hits and became the fastest player to join the 200-200 club.

Not as many people stuck around the ol’ ballyard to see the boys get trounced, as the rains came for an hour and a half and cleared away the offense that was scoreless for the first third of the game; the clubhouse hot tubs must have worked, as they scored their nine runs starting in the sixth.

Grant Holmes started the game with three perfect innings before the heavens opened, but the most impressive performance came from Eliezer Hernandez, who followed up with three scoreless innings from the fifth through the seventh. It’s the kind of performance that makes a manager shuffle his mental pecking order.

Unfortunately, Matt Olson got a golden sombero and went 0-5, but he does that sometimes. He’s fine. And as bad as this lineup has looked for the past couple weeks, a .593 winning percentage, a +118 run differential, and the results of this afternoon’s game tell you that maybe you CAN believe your lyin’ eyes: this team is pretty alright.

No baseball tomorrow, sadly, but then on Friday we get Chris Sale against Cristopher Sanchez, as (arguably) two of the top three pitchers in baseball go up against each other with the division up for grabs.

Every single player in both clubhouses is going to be licking their chops for the next 48 hours and so will I. Take care of business on a day like today, and you get to look forward to that with a clean appetite. What a matchup!