There was to be, I was led to anticipate, a baseball game last night. I did not watch an inning of it and the result was a 9-0 Braves loss. Did the Braves actually play and lose, or did they forfeit?

If baseball games occurred according to the subatomic laws that govern quantum particles, there would be no way to know without actually watching the game. Of course, the Braves’ runscoring frequently takes place at a subatomic level, so I feel justified in this tortured frame, and seeing just how many words I can wring out without even so much as looking at the box score to see just how badly the Giants shellacked the nobody I’ve never heard of who we unaccountably called up as cannon fodder.

It’s a long summer, tomorrow’s another day – in fact, due to the lateness of this recap, tomorrow’s already today! And the getaway game starts in three hours. Will the fans at Truist be a wave? Or a particle?