July 3rd and July 4th are the annual planetary returns to two of the more amazing feats in baseball history: On July 3, 1996, Braves pitcher Tony Cloninger hit two grand slams and garnered 9 RBI in a game at Candlestick Park. Cloninger was the first NL player to have two grand slams in a game, though Fernando Tatís’ (Sr.) two grand slams in an inning now vies with Cloninger’s two slams by a pitcher to superlativize* the feat that that only 14 players have accomplished. (The fact that Lane Thomas did it last year, however, should clue you in that it is not an invariable sign of greatness.)

July 4th, well, really July 5th, recalls the Rick Camp game in 1985 that I won’t discuss further. If you don’t know it for some reason, “Rick Camp Game” has its own Wikipedia page.

In any case, the 1966 Braves were very special to me: they were my first Braves team and I was ten years old. After that 17-3 win on July 3, 1966, the Braves were a run-of-the-mill 36-45 team, similar to, but worse, than their 39-46 record coming into tonight’s July 3, game.

If you had told me to stop watching the Braves — they suck — in 1966, I would have (a) been mildly scandalized that you used the word “sucked;” and (b) I would no more have listened to you than I listened to Mrs. Whitener, my fourth grade teacher, when she told me to shut up. (It was summer, but memories of deportment penalties from earlier in the year still sting.)

That 1966 team eventually fired the manager in August and went on a big August-September rally to finish 85-77. That was a 5th place finish, and 10 games behind the only NL team to make the postseason — the World Series-losing Los Angeles Dodgers. The lack of a pennant chase in August and September was easily compensated for by (a) a team that was playing much better; and (b) a team stocked with players that a starry-eyed ten-year-old could never forget: Aaron, Alou, Mathews, Carty, Torre, etc. Their best game of the season, the 2-1 win over Sandy Koufax was on August 9th in what was Billy Hitchcock‘s first game as manager.

When the Braves replaced Bobby Bragan as manager on August 9th, they were 52-59, and 12 1/2 games out of first. While they only picked up two 1/2 games, I fully expected them to win every game both before and after Bragan was fired, and I continue to do so today.

So you can give up on the Braves if you want to. Your transplanted attention to some other team, or some other sport, or your model train collection won’t really matter to the Braves, or to this website, which will lose the same amount of money with you or without you. But just know that some of us won’t give up, and we’ll still be here when you come back, even if it’s just me and tfloyd and AAR and coop and even though we all have socks considerably more than 10 years old. And it isn’t because our lives lack purpose — it’s because the Braves are an integral part, albeit a small one, of our life’s purpose.

And if you give up on the Braves, you will miss something Tony Cloninger-like in the remainder of the season. I have no idea what that thing will be, however, so that’s another reason to watch/listen.

Recap tonight or tomorrow by me or Ryan. Bryce “Sisyphus” Elder on the mound against God’s Helpers. My only guarantee is that he won’t hit two Grand Slams. But I’m at least comforted by the fact that Alex Verdugo won’t either.

* I thought I had managed to coin a word, but no. It has been used a few dozen times, most recently by Nina de Kreij in her 2021 PhD Thesis: Homer’s Comparisons. Types, Patterns and Effects at p. 159 and in footnote 85 on page 160. But you guys probably all remember that. Nina now works at the Dutch Research Council if you want to discuss the word with her.