I have tried to be positive. I have reached the point where my positivity seems to be so misplaced I just have to use additional means of expression. The title is an attempt to reverse engineer Ray Kinsella. When asked if Shoeless Joe is in heaven, we all remember Ray said “No, it’s Iowa.” Well, when asked about Bravesland Ray said, “No, it’s hell.”
Reynaldo Lopez took the mound and was not his usual almost lights out self. All 4 runs were charged to him over his 6 innings of work. Meanwhile, the offensively disastrous (not merely challenged) Braves score only once (after trailing 4 to 0 in the 9th inning).
The pros: nobody got hurt after the game started, that we know of. The “A” group of relievers got a night off. Sean Murphy got 3 walks. Aaron Bummer and Dylan Lee lowered their ERA’s (seriously, that is how poor the positives are).
The cons: 3 hits and 4 total bases. the Lopez semi episode. Nacho goes 0 for 4 (not blaming him, but this team needs a flamethrower, as opposed to a mere “spark”). Another loss.
I must apologize. Last week on Friday for the game thread, I insulted “that ol’ Debil Cardinal Magic.” Since then: Max Fried “neuritis”. Ozzie Albies “broken wrist”. desperation signing of the desiccated remains of Whit Merrifield, Lost 2 of 3 to the Cardinals, lost opener to the Reds. Yes, that ol’ Debil Cardinal Magic is not to be trifled with.
So, I have attempted a spiritual call to Mudbones to find out how to reach out to Miss Rudolf (you know, the voodoo lady with a 3 legged monkey and a monkey’s foot around her neck). Miss Rudolf is more powerful that this Cardinals mess. Anybody want to chip in on the goose or turkey? if not, I may get her to send the tarantula for you.
I will chip in on the turkey. Man, how much?
I was going to say it might be time to turn to Jobu, get some hats for our bats, and live some liquor in a locker with burning incense.
Where did you go, Phil Collins? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you.
I didn’t even start watching until it was 3-0 and realized the game was already over….. The funny thing is Lopez did not pitch badly just not super great. I can’t remember a team this bad at hitting.
Believe it or not, last year’s Yankees were actually worse.
You wouldn’t have to go back far. The 2014 and 2015 Braves scored exactly 573 runs apiece. The question is will we actually outscore the 2017 Braves who scored 732 runs, a team where Tyler Flowers was your third best hitter. Magic 8-ball says it doesn’t look good.