Merriam Wester defines DWEEB as an unattractive, insignificant, or inept person. Urban dictionary defines it as someone who is intellectual and socially-inept, but also ineffectual and devoid of passion. However, both M.W. and U.D. have agreed what a typical dweeb looks like: Pete Alonso
Yes, Pete is the dweeb prototype and his “throw it again” will forever live in his head and his teammates heads when the Braves beat the dog piss out of them. I 100% expect the Braves fans tonight and tomorrow night to chant “throw it again” after every HR or hit that scores a run.
Last night, I went on a Pete Alonso smear campaign via Twitter. The goods:
- Pete Alonso kisses his grandmother on the mouth and his wife on the cheek.
- Pete Alonso showers with his underwear on in the Mets locker room.
- Pete Alonso thinks it’s spelled blue cheese.
- Pete named his 4 cats Pete, Peter, Petey, and Imadouche.
- Pete Alonso’s favorite band is Rascal Flatts.
- Pete’s favorite color is “the one that Elmo wears”.
- Pete wears his cup to bed for “pee pee protection”.
- Every time Pete grabs a bat, he says “I’m Batman”.
- Pete wears earplugs on the field so he can hear himself think.
- Pete will read all my tweets while in his bed alone and will say aloud: “I don’t get it”.
- Pete signs autographs as “THE Pete Alonso”.
- Pete likes to say “Told ya” when in fact he didn’t tell them.
- Pete asked his mom if he could get a set of drums because he “hits things good”.
- Pete calls curve balls “loopy loops”.
*If you didn’t catch Alex’s great recap of last night’s game, here it is.