Things aren’t back to normal in this brave new world, and going to a ballgame is no exception. Scarcely 8,000 fans were on hand to watch the Braves beat the local ballclub, even though there are a ton of Braves fans in DC — we used to regularly outnumber the Nats fans back in the first few years of the stadium — but the Nats began the year by allowing 5,000 fans to watch the game, then upped it to around 10,000, so the socially distanced stadium was not full even at reduced capacity.

Plus, they had an annoying no bags rule: you couldn’t bring a bag into the stadium unless it was medically required or smaller than 5″ by 7″. Women were told to check any purses bigger than a clutch in a $12 bin store outside the stands. I’m honestly not quite sure why, other than the desire to sell more concessions.

Still, I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. This was an old-school victory, a thoroughly satisfying horsewhipping. Admittedly, the satisfaction was mitigated somewhat by the dreadful state of the Nationals roster. Take a look at this lineup, and try not to burn your eyes:

SS T. Turner
RF Y. Hernandez
2B J. Harrison
1B J. Bell
LF K. Schwarber
3B S. Castro
C Y. Gomes
CF V. Robles
SP J. Ross

Juan Soto was reactivated from the DL and eventually pinch hit, but that’s one star in Trea Turner, a guy in Robles who’s basically their Christian Pache, and a bunch of past-their-prime castoffs joined by one player, right fielder Yadiel Hernandez, who I have literally never heard before. Not exactly the Gashouse Gang.

But if it weren’t for Huascar on both sides of the ball, it might’ve been a nailbiter. Dansby had a couple of hits, and Ronald Acuna added a single and an opposite-field homer, ho-hum, but Freddie and Marcell contributed another collective 0-for-9. It’s not like they look lost every time they pick up a bat; Marcell hit a ball really hard towards the end of the game. But they’re not themselves, and it isn’t April any more.

Anyway, it was Ynoa’s night. Or, as I like to call him, Ynohtani. That grand slam was not a wall-scraper. Even if he never hits another homer all year, and he ends the season still tied with Rafael Belliard in 5,872nd place, you’d have to say he’s making a strong bid for Player of the Week.

He’s still a two-pitch pitcher — Gameday suggests he threw nothing but fastballs and sliders until he threw an 0-1 changeup to Josh Bell with two men out in the fourth inning. (The changeup was a ball. He then got Bell swinging on a slider and punched him out looking on a fastball.) He threw one more changeup in the sixth (a ball) and two more in the seventh (both balls). Then, on his final batter of the evening, Gameday thinks he threw something new: a sinker. It was 92 miles an hour and was called a ball.

I think two pitches was just fine to get out this particular Washington lineup. It’s good to see that he’s still working on the change and the sinker, and I hope he can throw them for the occasional strike. Right now, batters know that it’s mostly just going to be a steady diet of upper-90s fastballs and upper-80s sliders, and as filthy as they both are, any guess hitter has a 50/50 chance of guessing right. Adding a third pitch could improve Huascar’s odds even more.

The kid’s a stud.