Julio Teheran got hung with the loss, which was kind of a shame since he only allowed two runs in the first and Brandon Cunniff was charged with four in the hellish eighth inning that I sincerely hope that very few of you were actually paying attention to. (I know I wasn’t; I was eating cupcakes and drinking Old Fashioneds at a wedding, which allowed me to experience the mirror opposite emotions to the experience of being a Braves fan in 2015. It was lovely.) None of that mattered much, of course, since the Braves offense eked across one in the third and one in ninth against the very back of the pen; the Braves’ 2-5 lineup slots went 0-12 and the whole of the “offense” mustered a grand total of five hits in 30 at-bats.

Don’t forget to set your fantasy lineups.

UPDATE: Literally just after I hit publish, Spike sent me his recap. Sorry, Spike! Here it is:

No power and no bullpen make Homer something something. The elusive 63rd win failed to materialize again today. Teheran gave up two in the first but looked pretty good afterwards. Markakis pulled one back in the third with a two-out RBI single, but the offense looked pretty bad afterwards. The Marlins tried to oblige by walking and erroring a gift rally to the Braves in the eighth but they would have none of it.. The roof caved in on Cuniff in the bottom half, who walked the ballpark around a couple of singles and a sac fly to allow four. An utterly predictable and uninteresting affair and the kind of thing we can expect to see on a regular basis for a long time. While I don’t think even this gang of bums has it in them to lose out the rest of the way, not losing 100 games is about the only positive outcome we can look forward to.