WAITING FOR FREDOT
Camerogon: (Is sitting on second base, struggling with his cleats)
Markakimir (enters). â€œAh, there you are!â€
Camerogon. Yes. As I have been since I donâ€™t knowâ€¦
Markakimir: New York?
Camerogon: Yes, I suppose.
Markakimir: May one inquire where Your Mightiness spent the night?
Camerogon: On second. Iâ€™m waiting on Fredot to drive me in.
Markakimir: Did they beat you?
Markakimir: The usual lot. IWOTM, the Natspos, you knowâ€¦them.
Camerogon: Yes. What did you expect? Shut out. Repeatedly. I have been waiting on Fredot.
Markakimir: Ah yes, Fredot. You could drive yourself in? Steal a run?
Camerogon: Myself? Please, Mr. Petersonivich tried that â€“ see that tree?
Markakimir: A lovely tree.
Camerogon: Thrown out by three branches and a root!
Markakimir: Three branches and a root! Truly, then it is not a good idea to steal then.
Camerogon: Yes, they hung two thieves on either side of the Savior, you know.
Markakimir: Henderson and Brock?
Camerogon: I know not their names. Perhaps it was Cobb.
Markakimir: No, I heard Cobb was safe. Letâ€™s go.
Camerogon: We canâ€™t.
Markakimir: Why not?
Camerogon: Weâ€™re waiting for Fredot â€“ he will drive us in safely.
Camerogon: Here â€“ or perhaps Gwinett first, then here. I have a hard time remembering.
(Enter Pierzo and Lucky Fredi. Pierzo has a rope around Lucky Frediâ€™s neck. Lucky Fredi is carrying a fungo bat, a baseball cap, and three BP baseballs. Lucky Fredi collapses into a heap as Pierzo squats in a catcherâ€™s crouch.)
Markakimir: A bat! Perhaps it is Fredot! (Markakimir stands and approaches.)
Pierzo: Stop! Heâ€™s wicked! Heâ€™ll sacrifice bunt at any second. Do you want to be a sacrifice?
Camerogon: Would it drive me home?
Pierzo: Iâ€¦I have no idea. It would put pressure on the defense I expect. Surely that would count for something?
Markakimir: Are you Fredot?
Pierzo: No. I am a backstop â€“ Pierzo by name. I have seized this scruffy villain to pull me around. I was supposed to be relaxed, a man of leisure, yet this ruffian drives me instead of the other way around. Truly, I demand he bench or trade me!
Camerogon: (hopefully) He said Fredot!
Pierzo: No, unfortunately. I stood in nicely when Fredot was here last, but nowâ€¦.
Markakimir: Ah, too bad.
Camerogon (noticing Lucky Fredi.) Does he collapse like that often?
Pierzo: Just in June. Oh, and every other September.
Camerogon: (looking at Lucky Fredi) What manner of man is this servant of yours?
Pierzo: (puzzled) I have no idea. I have heard that perhaps he might be a smarter manager if his head were covered. You! Put your hat on and manage!
Lucky Fredi: (slowly stands and puts on the hat.) Sac bunt! Pressure on the defense! Steal and run! (becomes more animated) Gomeski, into left and face that righty! Yes! Thatâ€™s veteran leadership!No pinch hitting for the pitcher! Pinch hit for the pitcher! Avilannay, handle the 8th. (Pierzo, Camerogon, and Markakimir become agitated).
Camerogon: Quick, tip his cap!
(They struggle. Markakimir finally grabs the bill of Lucky Frediâ€™s hat and tips it back. Lucky Fredi falls silent and collapses again.)
Pierzo: Well, I must away. Up beast!
(Lucky Fredi staggers up, they exit.)
Camerogon: Night is falling. The bottom of the 9th, and we are still waiting for Fredot.
Markakimir: Yes, waiting for Fredot.
In other news, the Cardinals 4, Braves 2. Here’s a link to the ESPN recap. ESPN Recap