Some of my favorite threads are the ones where we talk about who we’d cast in a fake movie. So:
If I were the Wren’s I would try to troll the Braves as hard as I could for the forseeable future. The fact that this story came from a Wren is pretty hilarious. -gaz, April 17th, 2015 at 9:49 am
Imagine a world in which Wren gets the Phillies or Mets GM job. They could’ve just fired him, but no, they had to try to ruin his career… -Adam R, April 17th, 2015 at 10:12 am
So, it’s a classic revenge movie. He won 96 games for them, and they fire him a year later. He’s not getting mad. He’s getting even. He is…
DIRTY WREN
The Clubhouses:
Melvin “B.J.” Upton, Jr.: Derek Luke
Justin Upton: Rob Brown
David Wright: Jeremy Renner
Terry Collins: William Forsythe
Fredi Gonzalez: Miguel Ferrer
The Executive Lounges:
Frank Wren: William Fichtner
John Hart: Ed Harris
John Schuerholz: Michael Gambon
Fred Wilpon: Beau Bridges
Featuring Michael Imperioli as Rob Manfred, and Clint Eastwood as Bud Selig.
Edward suggests Richard Gere for Wren. Any other cast suggestions? We’ve got a whole lot of roster spots to fill!
Paul Walker as Dan Uggla.
Not sure how a Brit ends up as Scherholtz… I’d go Harrison Ford or Alec Baldwin.
Also William Shattner as Bud Selig but really William Shattner. I always imagined Selig’s last couple years in office as him drunk and hitting on interns in zero fucks given mode.
Freddie Freeman: Adam Driver
EY Jr.: Kevin Hart
Chipper Jones: Liam Neesons! or Joel McHale maybe?
Haven’t commented in a while, but I’ve always thought Kevin Spacey would make a good Schuerholz of the 90’s. So if there are any substantial flashbacks to that time then I’d vote Spacey.
Also, he’s Taiwanese, but the guy who played Kato in the Green Hornet remake could be a good Kawakami maybe? And hell, give Jason Sudeikis a shot as Derek Lowe, see what kind of magic he could work.
Sandra Bullock as Kim Hudson, Julianne Moore as Alex Wood’s mom, Pete Rose as himself, Benicio Del Toro as Carlos Tosca, Carl Weathers as TP, Tom Wilkinson as Tony DeMacio, and James Franco as Jordan Schafer.
I’m in on Carl Weathers as TP
And can we please get Daniel Day Lewis as Randy Johnson?!?
I’d like to cast Marky Mark Wahlberg as Uggla.
Ok, but since we already signed Paul Walker to the film he’ll have to play Heyward.
David Spade as DOB
Chris Farley as Peanut
Of course – got to have:
Corbin Bernsen as Chris Johnson
Fredi should be played by George Laird in his debut role.
And the dad from Modern Family should play Chip Caray.
And the dad from Modern Family should play Chip Caray.
Both are clueless and have zero command of the English language.
Seann William Scott as Dorn. Nailed it!
*slams bat into dugout cooler*
The kid from Game of Thrones that everyone hated as Pete Kozma.
You know you’re old when you can’t tell the actors without a scorecard.
Freddie Freeman: Devin Ratray (the guy who played Buzz in Home Alone)
@1
That’s funny.
Chipper on Twitter would play himself.
Bobby Cox: Liam Neeson
This is only going to get better as the season unfolds and the REAL Braves start showing up. It’s not like we are going to want to talk about the baseball being ‘played’.
Nick Markakis: Zach Galifanakis
@17, That is perfect. If anyone needs to be convinced: http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsR/14332-8695.gif
Chip Caray will be played by a chimpanzee.
@22, here is the canonical comparison:
Roger McDowell: Dan Akroyd
Chuck Norris as Evan Gattis.
Jason Heyward: Denzel Washington
Akroyd as Mcdowell and Apollo Creed as TP are the best so far.
B.J. Upton should be played by Dave Chapelle. Justin Upton by Tom Lister, Jr. Chapelle could really nail the post-called-strike-three hysterics of Melvin.
Chris Johnson- Corbin Bersen
Also, Sam Holbrook is pissing everyone off in the Cubs-Brewers game right now, so nothing new there.
Savion Glover could play Andrelton Simmons. And I like the thought of Dane DeHaan as Craig Kimbrel.
@31 – 3 riots and you’re out, right?
Christopher Mintz-Plasse as blogging hero Alex Remington
@33, endorsed.
Terry Pendleton could also be played by Forest Whitaker
http://wiki.dee-nee.com/w/images/7/7a/PendletonBraves2.JPG
http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/section/movies/filmography/8/WireImage_843276.jpg
Maybe Gerald Laird can take acting lessons and play Fredi.
Well.
Insurmountable deficit
Is there a reason the pitcher can’t catch a pop fly in the front of the mound? Freeman almost missed that.
Pressure!
DEFENSE = PRESSURED
Well that sucked
Home run derby, Julio?
Blue Jays are playing the game the wrong way.
Julio isn’t very Julio-ish tonight.
Edit: Well, that play looked very Julio-ish.
Love that move to first.
What a bullshit HBP.
But a great pickoff move!
Ball don’t lie.
Whatever the rule changes are to challenges this year, it’s a huge improvement. 2014, with the managers waddling out to the umpires and standing around waiting for a signal from the dugout, and seemingly for every other play, was just painful.
Neither CJ makes that play.
This turf is like fly paper
LOL Blue Jays!
These really are the bad news Braves
Jace is fighting it at the plate, says Captain Obvious obviously.
@54 Thanks, Captain Obvious, says the guy who piles on after you’ve self-deprecated
Um can Devin Travis play 2nd for us?
Fok
Where’s the exit from the 5-0 Braves’ bandwagon?
We’ve already come back from two deficits tonight. This may be pushing our luck.
Markakis is basically a hit factory
Wheeeeeee!
Well, Simmons, way to prove me wrong. Maybe they CAN come back and tie the game three times.
Andrelton, that will do.
Jace!! Wow!
Wheeeeeeeee! Triples!
Jace!
This is getting really ridiculous, Julio.
Donaldson is killing us.
This is getting old, Julio. Fredi, manage please.
Fredi is eating nachos on the toilet. How much longer is he going to be allowed to “manage.”
The pen should be fresh after a day off.
Fastball velocity is concerning.
Fredi is building Julio’s confidence for the stretch run. He has to learn he can pitch out of trouble.
Or he’s playing angry birds in the dugout
Nice escape, Julio. It’s Cody time, Fredi.
Smitty @ 70, you made me laugh out loud!
Good decision here by fredi to let Avilan pitch to the bottom of the order since it’s such a tough RHB lineup. Avilan isn’t of much use otherwise
Merry Christmas.
Whew.
Runs please.
Cody just toying with them
I’m starting to like this Gomes guy.
Wow, was not expecting us to take two different leads tonight. I’m loving this low-expectations/being-surprised theme to this season.
Going going goooooomes
FREDDIE!! What a game!
Hit factory
I’ve always liked that Freeman kid.
Freeman crushed that and made it look effortless
Thank god for insurance
Apparently Jim Johnson is human. I’m not sure how I feel about this.
This game…
Yes this is not a hopeful development
Anyone else getting that familiar sinking feeling?
It’s that barves bend-but-don’t-break defense
Roll over and play dead, Toronto. Don’t you know when to quit?
Inning over, but Reitsma Room is gone. I hope Grilli has more confidence right now than I do.
Let’s go Grilli. No drama please 1-2-3
Oh God please don’t remind me of Reitsma
Yes! Now we start another win streak.
Whoooo!!!
I feel like we should get a week’s worth of wins for that game. All that effort for one win seems cruel.
That was one heck of a game. I may not be able to survive many more like it. Whew.
Cody Martin’s first MLB win.
We won this game bc of Johnny Gomes’ vet’ran presents. And his homer.
On the Toronto radio feed they were talking about what a great person and presence Gomes is and that he keeps the clubhouse in line, no bitching about playing time…
I don’t really believe in this team yet but I am having more fun then I thought I would.
@101 lol
Recapped.