102 thoughts on “I don’t recap these things because they’re pointless”

  1. Matt Harrison has given up 4 runs in an inning of work in the Texas game. No Andruw yet, Salty’s has an RBI and “He who shall not be spoken of” has a hit. Texas is up 9-5 in the 3rd inning.

  2. How was that a speaking of which? Interesting/amusing story mind you, but not sure how it related to… well… anything (I don’t mean that as snarky/jackass as that sounds when I re-read it).

  3. In fairness to your confusion, my link was entirely unrelated to anything we’d been talking about.

    But somewhere out there there’s some guy who hit on the unmistakeable fact that if you pretend to be a former New York Yankee utility player, there is at least one adult film star who will have sex with you. I think that’s a lesson for all of us.

  4. I think it may be a universal truth that there is at least one adult film star, or at least former adult film star, that will have sex with you period. I don’t think you have to pretend to be anything, there’s gotta be at least one. Especially if we’re really loose on the term ‘star’.

    unrelated note – some Yankee fans want to trade Nady + Cash for Prado.

  5. I especially liked the comment:

    The only thing left to answer about this case, for now, is what kind of wacko attempts to seduce porn stars by posing as a career .248 utility player?

    Well, it worked didn’t it? That’s not wacko, it’s some strange form of genius. Starting tomorrow, I’m going to start e-mailing Lauren Phoenix claiming I’m Omar Quintanilla.

  6. Dix,
    If you’ve got the money, they’ve got the time.

    Yeah, last year there was a Joba Chamberlain impersonator in New Jersey who was scoring girls in bars left & right. He got busted, but I’m guessing it might’ve been worth it.

  7. Schafer’s homer and misplay remind me of something I wanted to bring up when we were discussing trading Gorkys. By the way, I am glad we did not.

    It seems possible to me that Schafer will need to move to a corner to make room for Gorkys in center.

    1. I think Schafer will have the bat to pull it off.

    2. The TZR metric, at least, has Gorys as a much better defender. It’s not even close. Total Zone Rating has Gorkys as pretty much the best center fielder in the minors last year and Schafer as merely average. To be fair, Schafer was once a pitcher and is very athletic, improving to average last year in center. He has looked good the couple of times I’ve seen him, but it’s possible that most of his defensive rep is just hype.

    Remember how good Martin Prado was supposed to be? His defensive reputation? TZR judged Prado a below average defender throughout his minor league career despite what the Braves said.

    If Gorkys is really that good in the field and Schafer continues to develop with the bat, we could have an outstanding outfield, offensively and defensively, in the near future. Wouldn’t that be a nice change?

    TZR data is available on Jeff Sackmann’s minor league splits database.

  8. If you looked like Brent Lillibridge you’d have a hard time getting in to the bar to MEET the women…

    Brent Lillibridge probably can’t even impersonate Brent Lillibridge.

  9. #22
    I suppose I’d have to be happy with a 16-game improvement & a one-game WC playoff vs. the Mets.

    Funny A-Rod Item: He’s not going to make the trips to Ft. Meyers for the spring road games vs. Boston. Who says protection doesn’t exist?

  10. schafer with a misplay, but he had a great play, a homer, and a stolen base (which, during spring training seems to be as easy as seeing boobs on mardi gras). i still stand by my bold prediction. jordan schafer will be the braves starting center fielder on opening day. he’s going to have such a spring that they just cant send him down.

  11. Good to see Hessman still hanging in there. He’s doubled his walk rate in the minors the last couple of years, and he had a somewhat gaudy .889 SLG last year in a cup of coffee. I also see he’s played a little shortstop at Toledo — I can’t quite get my head around that.

    RIP Randy Bewley

  12. Damn. I was at what I think was there reunion show several years back, it was New Years eve at the Watt.

  13. Schafer is not going to platoon, and regardless of where he plays, he’ll be in CF. He’s probably the best defensive CF the Braves have at any level.

  14. Too many Pylon memories for a baseball-oriented blog, really, but here’s a couple:

    Saw ’em the last time in Brooklyn last year, when “Gyrate” was re-released. Plenty fun. Some ex-Athenians in the house, but lots of young hipsters who knew the songs. A strangely encouraging evening.

    Saw them the first time at a University Union show in Memorial Hall Ballroom , fall 1981. Back then, you could bring 6-packs into the place. I was a UGA freshman, the show cost $1 & it was plain manic.

    People were dancing like mad, just spazzing out all over the place. I’d never seen people react to a band like that—this was definitely not an ARS concert. Hard not to be a fan forever after that gig. Minds & asses freed all at once.

  15. I hate to say it, but I think our outfield will probably stack up like this
    vs RHP
    LF Ganderson
    CF Janderson
    RF Francoeur

    vs LHP
    LF Diaz
    CF Ganderson
    RF Francoeur

  16. I doubt we will see Garrett Anderson in CF unless something terrible happens to Janderson, Blanco, and Schafer.

  17. Mraver – how are you so sure that Schafer is superior to Gorkys defensively? Does any defensive metric show it or is it just Brave propaganda?

  18. I’d rather see him out there than omar infante. I like infante, but he’s not a CF or even an OF… I don’t understand why people casually float the idea around of infante playing center, it’s a crucial defensive position, I hope bobby doesn’t take that for granted.

  19. Hey–I know that it didn’t matter–but it was nice to have a fresh boxscore to muse over….

    Parish–Thanks for the good work on Gorkys…

  20. Hey, the all too familiar 0-4 day for Frenchy! How things have changed for the kid!!!

    I personally think the outfield of Schafer, Gorkys, and Heyward will be awesome. Personally, I don’t want to trade Gorkys away.

  21. Yeah–I am not exactly holding my breath to see the ‘new Frenchy’…But I do like the prospect of Schafer, Heyward and Gorkys….More likely, we get 2 out of the 3–which would still be a great improvement….

  22. jjschiller,
    Know that I’m sticking with Tanderson and Shanderson, despite all the apparent resistance. They’re way less confusing and way more fun to say.

  23. The Braves lost! Dammit, the season is already down the drain. Do something, Bobby! Declare Jeffy the cleanup hitter right now–it will help his confidence!

  24. On Ohman, the market has been really bizarre this year. His agent deserves some blame, but I can see why he was confused. The market started out hot with Jeremy Affeldt getting $4 mil/year and Ryan Dempster getting $13 mill/year. I couldn’t defend Dempster’s deal in a booming economy. Now it is completely dry. I’m not sure if teams are just now realizing how the recession will hit them, if it’s uncertainty, or teams have been able to fool agents into thinking they’re hurting. Early on, I thought it was mostly gamesmanship, but given some recent stories and contracts, I think teams are genuinely cutting back.

    Still, I think Ohman would be wise to hold out and wait for injuries to happen. I think he’ll get more then that what he will have to settle for now. (I think Abreu should have done the same.) I’m sure he wishes he had taken the Braves initial offer, but that’s off the table now.

  25. No way it’s better for pitchers to hold out. Hitters maybe, but not pitchers. Preparation and routine are too important even for relievers. If I were Ohman I’d jump at the best 1-year deal out there. Hopefully, that will be us.

  26. Yeah, seriously. I know we’re no longer offering big money, but if the best he can get is $1 million for one year, surely we can spare that just to add another (more known-commodity-type) lefty option to the ‘pen.

  27. I doubt Ohman will be a Brave again. Isn’t our budget maximized at this point? I thought the Anderson deal did it for us.

  28. @53

    Yeah, it never was. The only thing I ever heard was that Ohman considered it, “legitimate”

    The bear of the situation is that for what we’re paying Glavine, we could probably have both Beimel AND Ohman.

  29. Stu- Thanks for the support! Haha.

    Around my house it’s already gotten to the point of Gary Tanderson and Joe Shanderson. Which is most fun to say if you have or add a thick southern accent to it.

  30. Gary Tanderson and Joe Shanderson

    Hey, now THAT works! I’m on the new bandwagon.

    (Shanderson is what I used to call Shandon Anderson, tho I don’t expect many others here shared that confusion)

  31. jjschiller,

    I like the addition of the first names and the drawl – these nicknames are getting better and better. Tanderson and Shanderson . . . I’m almost starting to like our pitiful outfield.

  32. The novelty will wear off if they don’t perform. It’s really got to be a fun name for it to last, like, say Pittsnogle.

    Or Stu.

  33. Well, for the same money I’d probably choose Glavine over Ohman. But if I could get Ohman for $1M, I’d go that route and use the extra $3M or so in savings to improve the cash offer for Nady.

  34. Hey, now, I perform.

    I think you’re right about the payroll being “maxed out,” but what I’m suggesting is that $1 million isn’t much, in baseball terms, and it should be worth it to our owners to give us that much extra to sign a quality reliever. To be clear, I’m not holding out hope or expectation, only saying what I think should happen.

  35. Signing Ohman makes sense if for no other reason than he will be very, very valuable at the trade deadline.

  36. Pittsnogle. That’s awesome. When was the last time I thought of that name? I’m going to have to look for a jersey on ebay. Might be able to find his own…

  37. Listening to the radio here in KC and they were talking about how the Royals played the Rangers yesterday in the first spring training game. HoRam pitched for the Royals.

    Here’s how it went:

    “Lord, Horacio Ramirez looked absolutely horrible yesterday. That Texas lineup absolutely crushed him. He couldn’t get anyone out….well except for Andruw Jones. And let me tell you, all stories of Andruw’s weight loss have been greatly exaggerated. That man is a mound…and not in a good way”

    I almost lost my s***

    AJ: 0-2 2K

    HoRam: 0.2 IP 7H 6R

    Its good to see them move on to greater things.

  38. Just saw where Hampton gave the Astros two scoreless innings yesterday. Hampton heathly enough to be the first pitcher out of the gate for Houston……does not compute…fatal error.

    Also, did I somehow miss that Marcus Giles was with the Phillies?

  39. Campillo was all over the place. Looks like we have a lot of minor league players playing today.

  40. The announcers are annoying me already. Bobby Cox could care less if Campillo gave up ten runs in that first inning. Jorge’s not getting the fifth spot in the rotation.

  41. Another great start….but I am staying up to see Tommy Hanson and then I look forward to Mac’s write up….

  42. Hanson looked pretty good. Fastball consistently between 94-96, and the curve as advertised.

    Walked Carlos Lee, on a couple borderline pitches; hit Tejada, presumably in response to the shot Escobar took from Oswalt; struck out Newhan looking on an outstanding curveball; double to somebody, pretty good fastball that tailed back over the outside corner just a little too much; sacrifice fly to some AAA fodder; and a grounder to short.

    Also, Parish, the game is being broadcast live and free on ESPN360.com.

  43. The new debate in MetLand revolves around Jerry Manuel’s experiment with leading off Luis Castillo & batting Jose Reyes third.

    Of course, Reyes hits a grand slam today…

  44. It came with the renewal of the package which I had last year….not exactly free–but it came as a freebie…

  45. You going to be around next week Stephen? I got an expense accounted cocktail for you….

  46. Now Reyes has homers from both sides of the plate. Hope he tries to keep hitting them.

    Few things in the world are more beautiful than a Jose Reyes popup.

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