Braves almost throw irrelevant no-hitter

The Official Site of Major League Baseball: News: Boxscore

Colter Bean, whom (I just realized) went to high school with my brother, and likely played football with him seeing how he (Bean) is listed at 6-6 255, walked two and then allowed a two-out hit in the ninth. It’s a bit unrealistic; if Colter Bean is on the mound in the ninth inning of a 4-0 game during the regular season, something has gone horribly wrong.

Teixeira hit a homer… I am terribly afraid that Joe Borchard will stay hot and weasel his way onto the team by hitting a steady diet of fastballs. He’s 4-9, with all the hits being doubles. Borchard is, as I’ve stated, the worst player in the major leagues, an outfielder who hits like a utility infielder.

UPDATE: A source writes that Bean “was way too big of a pu$$y to play football.”

89 thoughts on “Braves almost throw irrelevant no-hitter”

  1. Colter Bean relieved Chris Bootcheck (who was drafted by the Angels) in the finals of the 1998 SEC tournament, threw 5 shutout innings, and gave Auburn the tournament championship.

    I can deal with him blowing a spring no-hitter.

  2. Come to think of it Stu, Mrs Beachbum actually sat through the entire HBO Movie, “61”. I asked her to “give it 5 minutes and we’ll change it if you’re not interested”.

    2 hrs later she said “look at all the problems wives have to go through married to ballplayers, thank God you weren’t good enough.”

    Little does she (or most of our better halves/significant others) know we probably still harbor some degree of frustration that we weren’t major (or even minor) leaguers. That’s why I play MSBL on Sundays.

    At least Mac looks like Hampton. (Hope I don’t get blog-bounced!)

  3. Colter was a big stud for the Yankees a couple of years ago. It’s great to have him with the Braves. He’s like Rocker without the ‘roids and related side-effects.

  4. Marc,

    Mens Senior Baseball

    Here in Atlanta there are 18+, 28+, 38+ and 48+ leagues. There are also some in B’ham since I know a bunch of fellow bloggers live in AL.

    It’s a very well organized (alternative to softball) national in scope (and beyond) org. We play mostly on Sunday afternoons with replica major league unis, although there are now mid-week and saturday leagues as well.

    It’s a lot of fun, (semi-competitive but not life or death). Since we all have lives, (families, jobs, etc,) we don’t practice during the week but just show up at usually a high school field at 1 or 4 to play 3 hours and think of nothing else but playing the sport we love.

    We have tournaments at the end of the year in both Phoenix (like thousands of players fly in to play at the Cactus League parks (like Tempe Diablo Stadium) which is a real hoot) and Tampa Bay area on the Spring Training fields (like Stan Musuails old park he played on (Al ???)

    Even a father/son tournament and others in Vegas, Puerto Rico, etc.

    Check out the website on

    I manage a team and need a pitcher who is 48 +(or turning 48 this year). We always need catchers, shortstops, and centerfielders because at our age the legs, arms (knees, elbows, joints in general) which are needed at those positions needing speed and arm strength are dwindling resources. Our dugout always smells like a Bengay convention.

    But, it’s fun to play with guys your age who have the same maladies. Also, on our team, you can’t join unless you can answer “who were Bill Haley and the Comets and what was the name of their best-known song?”

  5. Colter played at Vestavia with Josh Hancock. He made his major league debut the day after Hancock died. Could be getting closer to home might be what he needs. Hope he does well, he’s not a bad kid.

  6. The ability to be unrelentingly stupid.

    There aren’t many who would dispute this. I was pointing out perhaps the most obvious difference between Rocker and Bean, which is that Rocker showed the ability to dominate major league hitters.

  7. Stu,
    I know. I just can’t leave alone any open shot on Rocker.

    Not a season goes by when I tell someone I’m a Braves fan (or someone sees me wearing a Braves cap), and his name immediately comes up as some kind of organizational/regional persona.

    We don’t discuss Hank Aaron, Dale Murphy, Maddux, Smoltz or Glavine—it’s always that dumbass.

  8. Geez, Rocker has been out of MLB for four or five years now. It’s time to let it go.

    What crime did John Rocker commit? Who did he hurt? I’m not endorsing what he said in December of 1999, but at the end of the day it’s just words. It’s not like he did what Brett Myers did with his wife.

  9. Dan,

    Eeeeyep. He’s a backwoods hick, pure and simple. There is no law against being stupid and ignorant, although I bet some people would like that. ;P

  10. I’d love to let it go, but because he’s a “native son,” his public idiocy attached itself to the franchise, whether we like or not.

  11. Leaving aside Rocker’s baggage, if his career had continued along the pace he had set with the Braves, the Braves never would have had him in 2005. He would have made something like what Billy Wagner did at the same age — $8 million. Or Armando Benitez — a shade under $7 million. (Those are the two most similar recent pitchers to Rocker/Braves only.)

  12. That and Rocker just won’t shut up. The Braves have employed plenty of jerks, but none so desperate to keep themselves in the spotlight as Rocker. Jose Canseco is like that, but doesn’t get publicly attached to the A’s or anyone else the way Rocker is to the Braves precisely because he’s a Georgia boy. It’s the downside of the Braves’ otherwise successful gambit of recruiting like Vince Dooley.

  13. Colter Bean has a major alcohol problem btw.

    Talking bullpen :
    Soriano, Moylan, Acosta, Yates, Ohman

    Ring, Boyer, Resop out of options, Bennett seems to have the lead for the swingman.
    First : does Acosta have options?
    Who is going to get left out? Bobby was indicating Resop was the odd man out btw.

  14. And poor Stockman. He seems to be on the Buddy Hernandez path to obscurity despite having a good foot on him.

  15. @20

    Just what leads you to say Colter Bean has a major alcohol problem. To me, that seems like a very strong statement.

  16. It came out about the time Hancock passed away.
    The general idea being that Yankess fans were clamouring for Colter Bean to be given an extended run with the ML club ( ala Devine, Buddy ), and one of the Yankee beat reporters then wrote a story of how Bean took to drinking alcohol in copious amounts after games, and irked some bigwigs. was on BBTF around then. You can search that up.

  17. just reading the rocker comments and having a good laugh……………….his biggest sin is teaching other atheletes to NEVER say what’s REALLY on their mind………. ubbuba, you live in (or around) new yawk………….dont you ever have a “rocker moment”?

  18. Okay, a brief Google search shows no such discussion. I’m not saying that there wasn’t, but let’s not discuss it. Instead, let’s focus on how he’s a pussy.

    In my experience, most Vestavia kids were more into pot anyway. John Carroll, where I went, was the drunk school.


    Our pitching staff might be oldest ever if Hampton starts 20 gam…

    Never mind.

    But anyways, Pinto points out that it isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and there’s some neat charts – walks per 9 tend to decrease as the age increases (or as the crappy pitchers cease to get ML contracts), so we should have some pretty good walk totals.

  20. MLB Trade Rumors says that Buster Olney says that Kyle Lohse has lessened his demands to a one year contract for $4-10 million. Anyone want the Braves to get him at that price?

  21. Not really. $4 million isn’t chump change for a fifth starter with one above-average season in the last five. We’ve got Jurrjens, James, Hampton, Reyes, and Bennett competing for those spots. Lohse is probably worse than Jurrjens or a healthy James or Hampton, and not likely to be better than Bennett.

  22. No. Why would we? He’s no better than James, Jurrjens, or Reyes, and those guys make nothing

  23. Borchard hit the longest home run in White Sox history (new park) – 504 feet. so how can you say he hits like a utility hitter?

  24. Because he can’t hit. I don’t care if he hit a long home run, his career line is .205 .284 .352. Okay, it’s a litle different distribution than a utility infielder, who would normally hit .250 .284 .352, but it’s the same effect.

    He sucks.

  25. No. Why would we? He’s no better than James, Jurrjens, or Reyes, and those guys make nothingi>

    I’d rather have Lohse at $4 mil than Glavine at whatever we paid plus the first rounder. Lohse was as effective as Tommy last season with a better K rate. And of course there is the age thing.

  26. Borchard’s .295/.376/.509 line a AA as a 22 year old was pretty tasty. However the 158 Ks that year told you there was some kind of problem with his approach. ML pithcers have had no problem exploiting that problem.

    He had Brandon Wood disease before there was a Brandon Wood.

  27. @30 – Hoover could be the in between school because they have so many students. All the drugs get around.

    You’d have to put Mountain Brook on the cocaine wagon – that’s where the money is.

  28. Godot–I don’t think that Stockman will fare as badly as Buddy Hernandez. At least the former got to pitch in the majors; Hernandez couldn’t see action even when the Braves needed help and tried nearly everybody else….

  29. I was talking geographically. At the end of my senior year, we were living in Vestavia, so I drove home from Southside through Homewood. I guess Ramsay would also be between, but let’s not get into that.

  30. Stu, were you at the game? I hope you were, cuz I was there, and I can honestly say that was probably the best sporting event I’ve ever attended.

  31. I was there. I’m always there. My wife and I have season tickets.

    It wasn’t close to the best sporting event I’ve ever attended, but it may well have been the best individual performance I’ve ever seen in person. Foster was just unreal, draining 30-foot jumpers while double-teamed. Under pressure. And not missing.

    Couldn’t happen to a more likeable guy, either.

  32. Your starting New York Mets lineup!

    SS Jose Reyes
    2B Ruben Gotay
    3B David Wright
    1B Damion Easley
    C Ramon Castro
    LF Marlon Anderson
    CF Endy Chavez
    RF Angel Pagan

    Meet the Mets!

  33. I told you their fans were whining.

    Heard today: “If Beltran’s hurt for any length of time, we’re in big trouble!

    Me: “I thought you’d bought playoff tickets already…”

  34. I have “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down” stuck in my head. I’m not really complaining, but Joan Baez keeps infiltrating. I’m going to listen to this over and over until it’s just Levon Helm.

  35. Mac,
    Wow, that’s kinda flipping me out. I just watched “The Last Waltz” the other night & was really marveling at Levon Helm and Rick Danko.

    Levon sings his ass off on that song (love the brass band) & when Danko belts out “It Makes No Difference” you just wanna cry. Just wrecks me everytime.

    FWIW, Levon still plays around here.

  36. i saw levon and his little combo here at a tallahassee nightspot usually reserved for the headbangers a year or so ago and was transfixed for two solid hours. truly one of the great voices in rock n roll history. i still listen to The Band as much as anything else in my collection. it just never gets old. check out levons newest CD “Dirt Farmer”…….its well worth a listen.

  37. oh, and mac, i know what you mean about joanie baloney………….if someone from The Band killed her, any sane court would rule it justifiable homicide.

  38. For those of you who appreciate the sounds that come from a vinyl LP and a Technics Direct Drive SL-3300, this thread has inspired me to play my pristine (because I try not to play it too often so it will stay that way) vinyl of The Last Waltz as we e-speak.

    Just simply great!

  39. Shan Foster is quite good at basketball.

    Stu, that may be the understatement of the year. If he doesn’t get ALOT of looks for first team AA, then ALOT of people are smoking ALOT of Kind Bud.

    my starting 5 for first team, AA (from Player of the Year, down):

    Tyler Hansborough
    Michael Beasley
    Luke Harangody
    D.J. Augustin
    Shan Foster
    Shan Foster

  40. Colter did play football at Vestavia, but that’s not saying much.

    Rocker stays in the limelight because he’s colorful and any time the mention of steroids comes up, all of the sports stations call him, because he’s not afraid to talk about it.

    He might be a redneck, but at least he’s real about it.

  41. PC Beachbum,

    I envy you. I used to play in something similar here in the DC area called Ponce De Leon baseball. It was great but eventually it was too much of a time commitment so now I’m stuck with softball. One day I hope to get back into it–baseball is much much more fun than softball.

  42. ububba, were you at the John Maine 1-hitter last weekend of the season against Florida? When the big fight broke out?

  43. doubled Shan…sorry

    It’s alright. He’s earned it.

    I gotta say, I’ll be shocked if he makes the 1st Team, but I do believe he’s earned the right to be in the discussion. Hopefully, last night will at least settle the silly Shan Foster/Tyler Smith/Jamont Gordon SEC POY debate.

    And he is a seriously great kid.

  44. It ain’t over yet, Rob. Beat UK and you’ve still got life. (I wouldn’t put it past a team as talented as Florida’s to run the SEC Tourney, either.) That Florida team is one the committee will want to put in the field if they can find a reason.

    But seriously, beat UK. I want a first-round bye.

  45. Marc,

    After family, friends, profession, etc., baseball (including watching it in person, or on TV, or talking about it, reading about it, and now blogging about it on Braves Journal-my only blog participation of any kind ever) is my passion and something we all share on this blog.

    However, nothing beats playing it, regardless of age! The biggest problem we have is getting guys who have decided they will be happy settling for softball (or have become couch potatos) to come out and give it a try. A “warm and fuzzy” for us is to see someone come out who is unsure of himself get that first “crack-of-the-wood-bat” hit and stand on base with a smile. But, even he struck out, he’s not breaking the “group norm” and will be encouraged until he does. We leave our egos at home.

    It sounds like you want to give it a try so here is the link to the league in DC.

    Anyone else can google their city with and it will come up.

    Let me know how it works out. Good luck!

  46. hoboken,
    Wasn’t there. I could be wrong, but I think I’ve seen that scrap on YouTube.

    But, seriously, for me to attend a late-season, Mets/Marlins game at Shea would require at least one of the following: free ticket or gun to my head.

  47. Our pitching staff might be oldest ever if Hampton starts 20 gam…

    Never mind.

    You know, I think I read on MLB Trade Rumors that Adlai Stevenson would be the oldest president ever if he were elected this November.

  48. Thanks Shan Foster!

    The Tennessee Volunteers, your 2007-2008 SEC Champions!!!

    Go Big Orange!

  49. Thorman strikes me as the kind of person whose solution to stress (i.e. losing starting job last year, questionable chance of making the roster this year) is always to bear down harder. As Mark Wohlers learned, this is not a key to success, baseball-wise.

    Much was made of the similarities between the minor league stats of Thorman and LaRoche, but maybe a comparison of their answers to a personality inventory might have been a more telling guide.

    LaRoche would go through slumps, and he infuritated some people with his relaxed demeanor during these times. They wanted to see a show of anger or frustration, as though that alone was evidence that he was trying to break out of it.

    Now here’s Thorman, whose frustration and intensity is on full display — it ain’t helping.

  50. Glavine didn’t finish his 3 innings today, he got in trouble allowing 2 runs in the 3rd. 3 walks, 2 Ks.

  51. At least Laroche had a sweet swing and played good defense. Not sure what Thorman’s got going on, except a lot of raw power that never gets used because he can’t make contact.

  52. Kelly Johnson seems to be batting leadoff every spring training game so far. I’m glad to see, I hope, the right choice being made.

    Borchard has another hit. I’m starting to get nervous that he is going to steal a roster spot. Or the Braves are going to trade Thorman to give him a spot. Thorman I don’t think will stay terrible forever, plus he has real power the Braves’ bench usually lacks.

    Why do teams still let bad players on the team because of the way they play in spring training?

  53. I imagine it might be because they see something we don’t. All we have to look off of is career numbers, spring training numbers, etc. They have the ability to see if they’re in shape (which could be the difference between good career numbers and bad), a better work ethic, good chemistry with the team, and other stuff the stats just won’t tell us. I’m not saying this is so, but perhaps Borchard has come into Spring Training stronger, more in shape, and he’s working really hard. And if that’s the case, it’s showing on the field, regardless of context.

  54. Borchard really is a worse version of Scott Thorman: lots of power, lots of strikeouts, defensive immobility, and a more or less complete inability to hit the ball at the major league level. He’s a worse major league hitter than Willie Harris. Other than BA, his career line is almost indistinguishable from that of Lil’ Tony Pena, Jr.:

    Borchard: .205 /.284 /.352 (716 career AB)
    Tony Pena: .264/ .282/ .354 (553 career AB)

    As you’ll note, they have the exact same OPS: .636, the sign of the anti-beast.

  55. Re: Andruw Jones @76,

    Andruw is saying he had lost too much weight last year and that’s why some of his fly balls stayed in the park. At 220, he wasn’t strong enough to hit balls out? Sheesh. As I recall, Hank Aaron and Willie Mays were both no more than 180 or 190. I guess if AJ weighed 300, he would have broken Bonds’ record.

  56. My theory is that spring training performance is almost completely irrelevant, because the pitchers are just trying to get in shape for the most part and throw mostly fastballs (which are easier on the arm). Any professional baseball player can get hits if all you throw is fastballs.

  57. I say it every year: I pay no mind to the individual numbers or team results. I just don’t anyone getting hurt.

  58. @ 80, I have always hated Adam LaRoche’s swing, and it was one of the main reasons I was thrilled when we traded him. It is hardly sweet.

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