The all-Mac Hates Them team (ex-Braves 1991-2006 only)

C Henry Blanco
1B Mike Hessman
2B Bret Boone
3B Wes Helms
SS Ozzie Guillen
RF Reggie Sanders
CF Deion Sanders
LF Dave Gallagher
IF Keith Lockhart
OF Mike Kelly

SP Russ Ortiz
SP Shane Reynolds
SP Horacio Ramirez*
SP Andy Ashby
SP Jason Shiell (and his wife)†

CL Danny Kolb
RP Tyler Kali Yates
RP Kevin Gryboski
RP Ray King
RP Roberto Hernandez

Coaches: Merv Rettenmund, Roger McDowell

*I don’t really hate Horacio that much but I’ve probably talked more trash about him here than anyone else.
†I don’t really hate Shiell or his wife either but needed a fifth starter and the Shiell’s wife jokes kill.

168 thoughts on “The all-Mac Hates Them team (ex-Braves 1991-2006 only)”

  1. Haha! I have to think I started that! I love it!

    Dave Gallagher? What’s the deal with him?

  2. And yeah, Vista sucks. I’m very frustrated. I’m having to share my movies over my network and use my XP laptop to sync my iPod movies to it. I’ve got a plane ride to Ireland Friday; I’ve gotta have something. Vista doesn’t care, though…

  3. How on earth could Rafael Belliard not qualify for this team? Or post-1999 John Rocker?

  4. George freaking Lombard,,,,,,,, the most arrogant SOB I have ever came across,,,, I am the happiest guy regarding that this guy has NO career in the show and is barely keeping employed at the AAA level. Hurry up and go to japan and or Mexico and piss people off their.
    Also my least favourite braves catcher of all time ( that time period) has to be Jorge fabergas,,, come on now

  5. Ha! That was you! I remember seeing that like 8 years ago!

    But yeah, why don’t you like Dave Gallagher? He’s before my time of really watching baseball, so I dunno…

  6. He (a) sucked, big time — he was a lot worse than Langerhans could dream of being — and (b) took about 150 PA away from Ryan Klesko, who didn’t. He’s one of the big reasons why the Braves “finished” 1994 in second place.

  7. I thought Travis Smith and his home runs would make a better fifth starter for your hate list.

  8. So he was an AB-sucker. I gotcha. You should make an All-Time Wasted ABs Team, players who stole ABs from other players.

  9. There was a time when I didn’t hate Reitsma. The standards for relievers are so high that his occasional good work was enough to push him off the team. The relievers who made it are basically guys I always hated.

  10. Wyrn,

    Saw that…I don’t have the stats in front of me, but I would wager that this would be one of the first teams that was a #1 seed that went to the Elite 8 the previous year to not only miss the NCAA tournament but in danger of missing the NIT the very next year.

  11. Take off Russ Ortiz. Sure, he proclaims his love of christian rock and somehow managed to win 36 games in 2 years with an ERA around 3.9. But, he did start 34 games per year, ate up over 400 innings, and his ERA was a good .30 points below league average. I think that’s a lot better than we can hope for from this years #3 or #4 starter.

    I nominate Albie Lopez to replace him.

  12. How ’bout backup players ? I am so disappointed not to see Todd Pratt here, 2006 Brian Jordan, Raul Mondesi, and some others

  13. Oritz may have been infuriating, but the Braves DID get the two best years out of him, relatively speaking.

  14. Atlanta Braves: Braves starter John Smoltz was hit on the chest by Curtis Granderson’s drive in the third inning of Atlanta’s exhibition game agaist Detroit. Smoltz, who caught the ball after it hit his chest, was on the ground for several minutes but stayed in the game and got the final out of the inning.

    Atlanta manager Bobby Cox said Smoltz was sore but shouldn’t miss a start. Smoltz allowed three hits in three scoreless innings with a strikeout and no walks.

  15. As opponents, both Ortiz (SF, ’02) & Lopez (Az, ’01) helped defeat the Braves in extremely wrenching playoff games.

    As Braves, Russ Ortiz walked the ballpark, but he gave us lots of innings and wins. For the most part, he succeeded. Albie Lopez was a full-on disaster. No contest.

    Though he certainly wasn’t any great Brave, Ozzie Guillen had one of the great clutch hits in Atlanta Braves post-season history, and one that nobody talks about. Game 6, 1999 NLCS, 10th inning off Benitez. Tied the game & saved us from a dreaded Game 7. I was there & I’ll never forget how relieved I felt.

  16. There is a special place in hell reserved for the doe-eyed ‘tard-stain that is Reggie Sanders.

  17. It really is amazing just how few bad starters the Braves had throughout the Cox-Mazzone partnership, isn’t it? And not that many bad relievers, either.

    Another name for consideration to fill out the squad: Brian Jordan. Yes, he was fine during his first tenure as a Brave, but honestly, why did we invite him back? Repeatedly? (Other than The Pictures.)

  18. I felt bad for Brogna. Seemed like a good guy, but he just couldn’t hit for the Braves.

  19. Vinny Castilla was the only guy I ever cheered for to strike out with runners on base, just so he would ground into a rally-killing DP, which I hencforth dubbed “Pulling a Castilla”.

    My friends and I were discussing this when Auburn 1B Andy Bennett (having a rough start to the year so far) came up with the bases loaded last night. We were trying to figure out how many more times he could let us down to get the Vinny treatment. As if he knew, he smacked a bases-clearing double. Andy Bennett is no Vinny Castilla.

  20. Oh, and I must admit I forgave a lot of annoyance at Ozzie Guillen after he got that big playoff hit in the tenth inning of game 6 of thte 1999 NLCS off Armando Benitez.

  21. I had almost forgotten about Albie Lopez (thank goodness), but he is a very worthy candidate. I’m also disappointed that Andres Thomas or Jorge Sosa didn’t make it. I know the Jason Shiell wife jokes are fun, but Travis Smith should really get the nod there. Hessman was bad, but you gotta’ give Caminiti some consideration. Wow, this list could go on and on.

  22. question – Why is Kali on the list? I know we all hate him for good reason. But he does not fit in the category of “ex-brave” although I wish he was.

  23. James,
    i’d be willing to bet a Dan Kolb rockie card and a self help book signed by Bill Curry that Javy hit into just as many if no more double plays with one out, it drove me crazy.
    Albie was the sorriest excuse for a Braves starter i’ve ever had the misfortune to watch. I say he has to be Mac’s Opening Day starter.

  24. raul mondesi?

    Castilla has to be up there. He started off the Chipper injury string
    DeWayne Wise should make it too!

  25. Probably not, but Chipper wasn’t really known as an injury plagued player before he moved to left field. And as Godot said, that hamstring injury started the string of injuries which led to the bad beet. So maybe if he wouldn’t have moved to left he would be so injury prone. But I guess ya never know.

    Look i’m one of the most biased posters on here and Chipper is my favorite player so if I can find anything or anyone else to blame for his injuries other than bad luck, i’ll take it. ;)

  26. Yes, we wouldn’t know. Something different may have happened. He could have injured himself another way. I just don’t want to blame it on Castilla. Hell, I liked him.

  27. I like Castilla too. I was glad to see him leave the Braves since he wasn’t a good hitter anymore, but he seemed like a good guy. It also seemed to me that I was the only one who didn’t scoff at the Rockies’ Vinny Castilla Day last year. He is a very important piece of their franchise history and immensely popular there. Classy move. (And it probably sold them a lot of tickets for that day’s game, too.)

  28. Bama baseball – no hit by Southern Miss, tonight they fall 8-6 to Tennessee Tech.

    Still an optimist, Mac?

  29. I expected “glove boy” –Vinnie, but I would not have been surprised by DeWayne Wise.

    I agree with Flournoy–why would anyone hate Raffy?

  30. I have spent the last 30 minutes clicking through that mullet site.

    I really don’t know what to say right now….

  31. Michael Tucker would be my only addition to the list, maybe Castilla. Brogna had to retire because of some sort of illness, that is why he sucked. Right on Mac!(glad I didn’t make the list, but I do good work!

  32. Thanks for the laugh this morning Mac…Albie Lopez is the only obvious addition I see. As bad as Belliard was, I never hated him as a Brave.

  33. Where’s Lonnie Smith, Mark Wohlers, and Jeff Reardon? The Braves might have won 4 titles if not for the efforts of those 3. Oh and you need an umpires section that would have to include Eric Gregg and Bob Davidson.

  34. If you’re going to hate Lonnie Smith for Game 7, why not Ron Gant or Sid Bream, who couldn’t get the runners in with less than two outs. I blame them a lot more than Lonnie–his baserunning problem was at least partially caused by that millstone around baseball’s neck called the Metrodome. Second and third, no outs, you ought to score. And Lonnie helped keep them alive in 1992.

  35. Shiell’s wife Morgan ostensibly posted here to defend her husband when everybody bagged on him after his first start with the Braves.

  36. I was looking forward to seeing Hampton pitch on Saturday, that blows. It says that the Braves will likely search for another starter. I looked the through the list of “available” starters, and the only one who jumped out at me was Brad Penny. Apparently the Dodgers need some outfield help, so, Langerhans and Salty for Penny?

  37. I think we should reserve a special spot in Hell–right next to Ozzie Guillen and Shane Reynolds’ lockers–for Kent Hrbek.

    Can we have a visitors’ clubhouse of people we despise?

  38. Hate King,

    Try looking on the day that Shiell made his first start or a bit past it. They’d be somewhere around there. I think.

  39. *looks at the list again* … why is Bret Boone on there anyway? He gave the Braves the best offensive season at second base since Davey Johnson. and he was the only one who actually hit in the World Series.

  40. Can we get insurance to pay Hampton’s salary again. Get Porter to tell him that his injury is too serious to continue rehabing and he’s needs time off. Maybe that’ll get him so frustrated that he’ll allow us to trade him, then resign Smoltz. Time to package Escobar and Salty for someone….

  41. he’s not experienced, but maybe the Twins will give us Matt Garza…

    What vet’s are available?

  42. Why do we need a veteran? We will get by fine with Davies and the DBack twins. Or Harrison might get that early call up.
    been a while since we jumped someone from AA !

  43. The Dodgers don’t need OF help…. In addition to the asinine Pierre signing, they’ve got a couple of youngsters in Kemp and Ethier who are very good (and should both probably be getting PT ahead of Pierre….). I mean, if they want to trade for Langerhans, I’ll take Penny… but I don’t see what’s in that for the Dodgers, especially given that they’ve got a good young catcher in Russell Martin.

  44. Cormier will do fine the first month. Breaking ball, soft throwing pitchers always have a head start on hitters. One of the reasons why Aaron Sele always got off to those 6-0, 7-0, 2 ERA starts

  45. Im guessing that his left side will be the hardest on him throwing also. We need that insurance money to kick in. If we can find another starter via trade or someone stepping up, then keep him on the DL

  46. Thanks, well that actually makes me feel a little better. Suggests it wasn’t a pitching mechanics issue (e.g., compensating for something else that’s hurting).

  47. This hurts. I was cautiously optimistic Hampton would return, but to lose him to an injury that has nothing to do with his tommy john surgery makes this even harder to swallow. Hopefully he can make it back this year and provide some help and energy midway through the season.

  48. I’m guessing he cant do anything for 6-8 weeks based on this injury. So Im guessing he’s at least 2-3 months away from being able to make a start, in which will now be Richmond. Could be a long process before he can join the Braves roster…

  49. Who knows, maybe this is a blessing in disguise. It was becoming abundantly clear that he isn’t ready to pitch, so now there is no chance that he’ll push his arm too hard, too fast. Maybe 6-8 weeks will end up allowing him to come back and stay back.

  50. Hudson sat them down in order…all three outs were ground balls. I know its early, but damn, Huddy looks like he’s in great shape.

  51. i only have one primary qualm with the list.

    at second base, you HAVE to put Keith Lockhart there, bar none.

    i absolutely hated that guy, and the inexplicable loyalty they had to his mediocre playing

  52. Our lineup is what I imagine it’s going to look like on Opening Day.

    2B- KJ
    SS- Renty
    3B- Chipper
    CF- Andruw
    C- McCann
    RF- Frenchy
    1B- Thor
    LF- Diaz

  53. Kelly Johnson made a throwing error…he probably wasn’t going to get him out anyways…no damage though runner didn’t advance…scored as a single and then an error.

  54. I think a trade at this point is highly unlikely. Anyone with a decent starter to spare will want an arm and a leg and he will probably be too expensive for the Braves anyway. When you are operating on a tight budget, anything that goes wrong can have a really devastating impact. I thought that expecting Hampton to win 15 games was unrealistic anyway, but this puts a lot more pressure on Hudson to come back to something approaching his prime.

  55. I just bought (subscribed to) the MLB online radio thigger-ma-jig, and man it feels SO good to hear a Braves game again!

  56. I don’t see a major trade either. I can see us picking up some vet pitcher who gets cut during spring, but no real investment anywhere.

  57. Thats all…Diaz is left at third as KJ flys out to left… But frenchy ties it up, 2-2 going into the third.

  58. Damon stole second….it looked like a great throw by McCann, but it took a short hop right before it go to Johnson and he missed it…Andruw was right there though…

    Huddy strikes out Jeter.

  59. I guess i’m picking Notre Dame because they didn’t beat us this year. Of course we didn’t play them either. ;)

  60. Hudson’s day is done, Wickamania is coming in now.

    Hudson’s line:

    4 IP, 4 hits, 2 runs(1 earned), 3K’s and no walks.

  61. I didnt think Hampton would be back .. I mentioned that in
    earlier threads .. doesnt surprise me … if Davies cant get it goig then we are in deep dodo .. you cant have a 4th and 5th starter sruggle .. does Villareal or McBride get a chance ?? or do we see one of our young SS’s get shipped guess is JS will wait to see what happens with Davies / Cormier ….

  62. From the official site:

    “With Hampton unavailable for an undetermined period of time, the Braves will likely begin to explore the trade market in search of a veteran starting pitcher.”


  63. Mike Gonzalez is coming on to pitch now…and of course the Yanks booth is bringing up the rumored three-way trade that involved us shipping Gonzo to them.

  64. Let’s see…over the last few days I’ve heard that KJ has twice misplayed throws to second and also has a throwing error. He may be able to hit but from what I have heard thus far I’m starting to have serious doubts that this guy can field the position.
    Of course this is all speculation since I have yet to see him take the field but still… Are the commentators saying anything about how he looks fielding? It seems awefully quite concerning his fielding. His position change is one of the Braves bigger stories this spring. It seems like we should be hearing something. At this point I’m inclined to the think that the silence is a bad thing.

  65. Amazing play by Pena Jr…..ball hit off of Escobar’s glove and Lil Tony had to change directions to pick it up and throw it as hard as he could and just go the runner.

  66. Word on Hampton from Rotoworld:

    X-rays on Mike Hampton’s ribs have reportedly come back negative and the Braves believe he suffered a strained oblique.

    Given how long oblique injuries can linger, the busted ribs might have been better. Hampton is almost certainly ruled out for Opening Day and may instead be looking at a May return as the best-case scenario given that he has to both heal up his side and get his arm into pitching shape.

  67. Dirt,

    In my opinion he’s hasn’t been all that bad at second although he has made some mistakes…but he hasn’t been spectacular either by any means. Once again in my opinion, Martin Prado has really out played him defensively and maybe even offensively so far this spring. It seems like Johnson is trying to do too much too quick…making throws that anyone who has played second knows he shouldn’t..for instance their was a left-handed hitter with good speed at the plate today and he hit a ball that KJ fielded cleanly but he was almost in center field…and he threw it anyway off his back foot and almost threw it away. It’s things like that he needs to really work on if he’s going to be the starter at 2nd. He also misplayed a short hop on a throw from McCann when a guy was stealing.

  68. sorry guys, but I gotta run out for a little while…maybe someone else can update for the rest of the game.

  69. 79-67 Kentucky over Bama in SEC Tourney.

    The evolution is complete; Bama basketball has fallen faster than a Wimp Sanderson secretary.

  70. Wryn,

    I have this vision in my head where Mac whales away uncontrollably on you while telling you to never badmouth Alabama again.

  71. I wouldn’t be surprised to see Tanyon Sturtze getting a fair number of chances to pitch himself out of the rotation as a 6th-starter type, behind Cormier and Villarreal on the depth chart, but getting more innings than he’s ever shown in his career that he deserves… hopefully as a career AL guy he’ll be able to befuddle the poor simps on the senior circuit with some smoke, mirrors, and a crappy fastball.

  72. I will watch my back next time I call a game in Tuscaloosa, which will be sometime this fall.

  73. bohn, jurries and some other guy are in.
    1 on no outs
    pitcher -collier throws a double play ball into center. runners at 1&3

  74. hopefully collier isn’t hamptons replacement…he’s batting practice for the yanks

  75. I think Hampton is cursed–and that the curse won’t be lifted until he films a commercial for Aflac.

  76. MLB Rumors…

    Hampton Injury May Force Trade
    Mike Hampton injured his side this morning and could miss all of April or more. At the bottom of his article,’s Mark Bowman mentions that the injury may prompt the Braves to scour the trade market for a starting pitcher. Right now the front four are Smoltz, Hudson, James, and Davies. Lance Cormier could fill in for Hampton if Schuerholz doesn’t find a reasonable trade.

    One available starter might be the Cubs’ Wade Miller, assuming he is healthy but does not win the fifth starter job. I imagine the Phils won’t send Jon Lieber over to the Braves. Brad Penny’s stock seems down lately, and he could be an option. And don’t forget that the Braves may have had someone on hand to watch Carl Pavano pitch a few days ago.

    The Tigers might have a small surplus with Zach Miner apparently pushed out of the rotation by Mike Maroth. The Braves sent Miner to the Tigers for Kyle Farnsworth in July of ’05. Paul Byrd is another former Brave who might be available. And I’m sure Shawn Chacon could be had for a decent-sized bag of peanuts. Plus there’s the Rockies, with Josh Fogg or Byung-Hyun Kim seen as expendable. Finally, as mentioned in the comments, Mark Redman is still a free agent.

  77. should we try moving Diaz/Escobar or Salty/Escobar, or just let Lance and Kyle try it for a while

  78. I think you have to be careful about just flipping all the prospects for a short-term pitching solution. I have these visions, of course, of Doyle Alexander-John Smoltz. I don’t think the Braves have enough depth in their system to start shipping good prospects out for a number 4 starter. And trading out of desparation is never a good idea. It’s not even through the second week of spring training; let’s not panic yet, let’s wait at least until Opening Day and then panic.

  79. Here’s my list for what it’s worth:

    C Todd Pratt (the other catchers that sucked at least caught Maddux so they provided something)
    1B Ken Caminiti (don’t want to rip the dead, but has there ever been a more awkward first baseman in the history of baseball??)
    2B Quilvio Veras
    SS Jose Hernandez (honorary mention to Rafael Furcal when he thought he was a home run hitter)
    3B Vinny Cash-steal-a (hard to believe they couldn’t have spent the money they were paying him on something better)
    OF Kenny Lofton (a-hole and complete puss, plus Justice and Grissom were gone, so I had a grudge from the start)
    OF Reggie Sanders
    OF BJ Surhoff
    OF Roberto Kelly (traded for Deion, and I liked Deion, I know I shouldn’t have, but I did)
    OF Mike Kelly (glad he was brought back for another go around)
    OF Raul Mondesi
    OF Todd Hollandsworth
    C/INF Tyler Houston
    SP Fat Albie Lopez
    SP Andy Ashby
    SP Marvin Freeman
    SP Charlie Liebrandt (I know I shouldn’t because he shouldn’t have been in the game, but he made me cry multiple times as a kid)
    RP Gregg Olson
    RP Norm Charlton
    RP Dennis Martinez
    RP Tom Martin
    RP Dan KolBB (of course)

    I’m not a hateful person. Really, I’m not.

  80. Hey, at least Dennis Martinez had that 10 hit shutout–giving a whole new meaning to the word “scattering.”

    But, yeah, thanks for reminding me of Gregg Olson… I couldn’t have hated him more.

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