(Written before the bullpen was so great yesterday, but they still have it coming.  Source material. Ultimately this is Brian J.’s fault.)

In the not-too-distant future-
About 7:15 ET.-
The Braves will play the Devil Rays,
Two examples of futility.
They’ll play in a field named after fruit,
The Rays and a team for whom we root.
The Braves have fallen all the way to last place,
But the boss is signing books
With a smug look upon his face.

We’ll send them bad relievers,
The worst we can find (la-la-la).
They’ll have to sit and watch them all,
Every fan will lose his mind (la-la-la).

Now keep in mind Cox can’t control
Where the starters begin or end (la-la-la)
He’ll have to use random spare parts
That are his bullpen friends.

Relief Roll Call: (All right, let’s go!)
Sosa! (For now.)
Judy! (Hi, girl!)
Paronto! (Great big fat guy!)
Raaaaay! (He’s mediocre.)

If you’re wondering how to stand it all
Watching these bullpen hacks (la la la),
Then repeat to yourself, “It’s just a game,
I should really just relax
For Mystery Science Game Thread 3000!”