(Written before the bullpen was so great yesterday, but they still have it coming. Source material. Ultimately this is Brian J.’s fault.)
In the not-too-distant future-
About 7:15 ET.-
The Braves will play the Devil Rays,
Two examples of futility.
They’ll play in a field named after fruit,
The Rays and a team for whom we root.
The Braves have fallen all the way to last place,
But the boss is signing books
With a smug look upon his face.
We’ll send them bad relievers,
The worst we can find (la-la-la).
They’ll have to sit and watch them all,
Every fan will lose his mind (la-la-la).
Now keep in mind Cox can’t control
Where the starters begin or end (la-la-la)
He’ll have to use random spare parts
That are his bullpen friends.
Relief Roll Call: (All right, let’s go!)
Sosa! (For now.)
Judy! (Hi, girl!)
Paronto! (Great big fat guy!)
Raaaaay! (He’s mediocre.)
If you’re wondering how to stand it all
Watching these bullpen hacks (la la la),
Then repeat to yourself, “It’s just a game,
I should really just relax
For Mystery Science Game Thread 3000!”
I saw where we signed Bobby Darula to a minor league deal. He playyed here in chattanooga for a while. He swung a decent bat, but I don’t think he will make it to Atlanta
Uh, thanks. I think.
(Assumes Dr. Clayton Schuerholz voice)
Today, I’m having a known and awful quantity in Renee Cormier take on a complete unknown in Tim Corcoran, making his first major league start. In other words, you’re in deep trouble.
(Enter Mrs. Pearl Cox)
Remlinger and Paronto didn’t pitch last night, so expect to see them. McBride, Stockman, and Yates pitched an inning each, so you’ll probably see at least one of them. Sosa might come in too, just to make sure he knows he’s the closer.
(Both together)
And we signed a new reliever, just like you asked us to. Meet Clint Sodowsky. Oh wait, you won’t.
(Schuerholz)
He’s nice and young, only 33 years old.
(Cox)
But I won’t play him tonight. He’s going to Mississippi.
(Both)
But don’t worry, you’ve got enough relievers already, right?
(Mac)
There are enough of them, but…
(Schuerholz)
Then what have you been complaining about?
(Cox)
What do you mean, Doctor? I haven’t listened to a single complaint.
(Schuerholz)
Game sign in 90 minutes, boys and girls.
LIneup –
1. M Giles, 2B
2. E Renteria, SS
3. C Jones, 3B
4. A Jones, DH
5. B McCann, C
6. J Francoeur, RF
7. A LaRoche, 1B
8. S Thorman, LF
9. R Langerhans, CF
Here is Joey Devine’s line from last night’s first appearance at Myrtle Beach:
Pitchers POS NOTE IP H R ER BB SO HR ERA
Parr P (W, 3-4) 5.1 6 6 6 2 1 1 5.40
Devine P (H, 1) 1.0 1 2 2 1 1 0 18.00
Roberts P (H, 3) 1.2 1 0 0 0 2 0 3.25
Nix P (S, 2) 1.0 0 0 0 0 1 0 3.92
No idea what Thorman has done to earn starts ahead of Diaz.
Jeremy, the only thing I can figure is that he’s new and thus isn’t associated with the failure of the rest of the team. Of course, Diaz hasn’t failed by any measure, but the is Coxworld, where normal rules of logic do not apply.
It’s the lefty-righty thing, guys. We should know Bobby well enough by now…
Brian Kenny is now my favorite guy at ESPN. While showing Sox/Phillies highlights, Jeff “My Mullet Makes Me Dumber” Brantley starts blaming the manager for putting Tom Gordon in with the game tied (Gordon allowed a GW HR) because “it wasn’t a save situation.”
Kenny: “don’t you want your best guy in the game?”
Brantley: “No, you need the closer to close the game if you take the lead.”
Kenny: “What if you never take the lead? What then?”
Brantley: “Who’s going to close it if you’ve used your closer?”
Kenny: “The closer is your best pitcher in the pen – isn’t that what a closer is?”
Brantley: “The closer is the guy who gets the last three outs.”
AARGH!
stupid is as stupid does….And Brantley gets paid money for this. Pathetic, isn’t it?
These throwback uniforms are approprate for the Braves and D-Rays… you should look as ugly as you play.
Marcus Giles draws a walk, showing that the light may have come on for him.
Andruw grounds into a DP to end the inning. Even the Chinese Army doesn’t kill as many rallies as the Joneses.
I have a serious question……..lead off batter…..currently Giles…….once the first inning has past, the lead off rarely “leads off” the inning. So, past the first inning, is the role of lead off batter that important………….any more important than? Thanks for the insight from you learned fans.
The idea of giving two starts to Cormier is completely stupid.
Yes, it is, for two reasons.
First, the #9 hitter in a National League lineup, the pitcher, will make the most outs, including the most thir douts, for most of the game. Even when the pitcher is pinch-hit for or there’s a DH, pinch-hitters and #9 hitters are usually weaker hitters than starters. Hence, the #1 position in the order will lead off many innings other than the first. Last night, for instance, Giles also led off the 3rd and 10th innings, and would have led off the 12th.
Second, by definition, the leadoff hitter will have at least as many plate appearances as anyone else in the game. Therefore, you want the guy with the most plate appearances to be one of your better hitters or at least someone who won’t make a ton of outs.
Brian, thanks.
I missed the opening remarks of the game……….any word on the two hurt pitchers from last night?
Jayekanan, all the baseball fans like us will agree with your assessment, but the baseball players don’t seem to think so.
Why Chipper doesn’t throw to home plate for the force out?
Why the ugly unis?
Brain J, I completely agree with you. What I don’t understand is the players will try to change their game to suit the leadoff role…which is probably the problem of Marcus…maybe the pitchers pitch differently to the leadoff hitters.
It’s been known to happen. Ichiro is an example of this, as he hit for much more power in Japan than he ever has in Seattle. But I doubt most hitters can fundamentally change their hitting style in that way, and trying to change usually results in worse production all around.
Did Andruw start?
Apparently it is Seventies Night. Actually, the Braves have been celebrating Seventies Month.
Andruw is DHing.
Is it me, or does Francoeur run like a girl??? I sincerely mean no disrespect…..really.
Actually, Brian, I believe Ichiro was also a leadoff hitter in Japan. The decrease in power is mainly due to the small ballparks in Japan. Matsui hit around 50 HRs annual when he was still playing in Japan.
Yep. He’s the DH tonight.
I bet Adam can be the Hank in Japan.
The Rays fans are booing? I can’t believe it!!!
Didn’t realize Stockman is in the bullpen. Now, Bobby has an oppurtunity to free Kevin Barry.
so I guess Andruw will be our only All Star this year, and only because of the rule that all teams have to have representation?
Blauser likes the Chilli Peppers. Who woulda thunk it.
Or will McCann get the nod at Catcher?
Hey, Jeff Blauser. Great to see him again. He’s managing in Mississippi, which is like trying to fix a car without tools.
Andruw, you can’t lollygag to first like that. Ever.
According to Chip, the nation’s capital is now in Baltimore. As a fellow UGA grad, I want him to start claiming to be from Knoxville.
Chip and Joe have a 2 by 4 in the booth. I’ve got some ideas on what they can do with it.
And if I ran everyone else off, I’m sorry! Come back!
Not your problem Brain, this game is so exciting that I am speechless at the moment.
If you would’ve told me before the game that Cormier was going to go 5 and give up 2 runs, I would’ve taken it & ran. It wasn’t pretty, though. And I certainly don’t want to see him get another start.
First Casey Fossum and now Tim Corcoran. Offense needs to wake up.
Hey Jeremy, I thought it was Santana and Clemens!!!
Chipper is obviously playing very hard.
Paronto and McBride in the bullpen. Be still my quivering stomach.
That’s fifteen baserunners in 5 2/3 innings. Take a bow, Renee. Then take a long walk off a short pier.
What’s more disturbing:
The fact that the Braves are making a Cy Young candidate out of another bad, no name, D-Rays pitcher tonight, or the fact that it’s the top of the 7th and there’s less then 50 comments in here?
Wow.
You know, the Braves picked a bad year to fall off. the National League may never have been this mediocre. It seems as if only the Mets (ugh), at this point, can provide decent hitting, a couple front line starters, and a closer. Even the Cardinals have wretched starting pitching (has anyone noticed their scores lately?) – outside Carpenter anyway. And yes, the Astros have Clemens, but Petitte has been horrible and their hitting has been almost as bad as ours (unless they’re playing us). Who else is there? The Reds, Padres, or Dodgers? The Marlins are only 6.5 games out of the wild card… seems crazy.
I guess it just sucks that the season already seems over and the league seems so winnable.
I think it’s really cool that the D-Rays have on Texas Ranger type uniforms on and yet it says “Tarpons”–this must be very disturbing to their 7,234 fans there.
Oh…the cool thing…that was sarcasm!
Diaz!
Adam,
You make a great point.
Hey…anyone remember when we used to be the best team in the National League and not just that team the last 3-4 years that just “slipped” in the Playoffs, until 2006 when we are officially, the worst team?
Brian J,
could be worse: Mary Remlinger or Judy Reitsma, though I think we have successfully seen the end of the Judy Reitsma era.
we’ll probably make Harper look like Mariano Rivera now.
Dave O’Brien speaks my mind:
http://www.ajc.com/blogs/content/shared-blogs/ajc/braves/entries/2006/06/23/too_many_ls_in.html
My favorite part about the article:
“John Schuerholz made a huge, huge mistake with the construction of this team. Actually, he’s made it a few years in a row, but only this year has it undermined their entire season and turned the Braves into a laughingstock. The past couple of years, he got away with it because the Braves won the division anyway.”
Again, it is utterly absurd and illogical that Bobby continues to start Thorman ahead of Diaz. Diaz can hit a little, Bobby. Get a freakin clue.
Paronto, I’m just old enough to remember when our fat tubs of goo had talent.
Wow, Chipper made a nice play. Wish he’d show that kind of hustle all the time.
Wow, I see effort from Chipper!!!
Alex –
You also make a great point. Why sit here on a saturday night and follow a couple bad ballclubs fight each other over who can lose first? I’m gonna go get drunk and imagine a world where Kurt Cobain’s was only recently deceased, Copycat was in the theatre, and the two best teams in the land hailed from Georgia and Ohio.
I’ll be back for the recap discussion…
-Adam
kc,
I agree with Davey 100%.
The teams of the 90’s had their holes, but the last few yrs, we have been escaping the cellar by Copperfield-style luck.
As for the Diaz/Thorman thing, just add it to another thing Cox won’t change about until it’s 2 months too late. That’s just Bobby being Bobby.
Bobby is treating Thorman like KJ.
I am surprised that the AJC writers have not been kind to JS lately, which is a pleasent surprise.
Frenchy at center? That’s nice to see. Eventually, Andruw should be moved to rightfield to save his shoulders.
If my wife wasn’t sick and now asleep, we would have actually had a date out of the house on a Saturday probably seeing “Click” with Adam Sandler. But alas, she’s in bed asleep and I am praying the Braves can score at least 2 more runs off terrible relievers on a terrible team.
Effort from Chipper again!!!
Wish your wife will get well soon. Wife being sicked is a husband’s worst dream.
The problem is that our farm system has bailed the team out the last couple of years, and not just or even mainly the A-list guys, but B and C prospects. Nick Green. Charles Thomas. Pete Orr (early ’05 vintage). John Foster. Blaine Boyer.
But no farm system can be expected to have that kind of productivity year after year when the stars are aging and the free-agency signings and trades are wretched (Raul Mondesi? Dan Kolb? Brian Jordan twice?) We’ve eaten the seed corn and the farm is barren.
Thanks kc. Her birthday is monday so I hope she’s better then. Plus, in less then 2 weeks we are gone to Mexico for 5 days so as long as we are both healthy heading there!
Brian, this is why I am surprised why people are still defending JS when the obvious fact shows that he has done a terrible job.
How about a deep fly by ‘Druw and start one of these “winning streak” things I hear people talking about.
Chipper is becoming a singles hitter. Maybe Bobby should move him to the leadoff spot.
kc,
Good Call.
Thankfully, 2 on with the best Braves player at the plate. It may not work out but it feels like we have a chance.
Here’s a comparison to establish that Close and Late number:
Braves’ C&L: 307/395/466
Edgar Renteria: 307/392/455
That OBP would tie for 13th best in the National League. Some of that is the 18 intentional walks in such situations- no other NL team has intentionally walked more than 10.
I’ve actually suggested Chipper-to-leadoff on the AJC forum. If you don’t care about speed — and the Braves really don’t have a basestealing threat — it makes a lot of sense. Even with his recent slump Chipper’s still third on the team (behind McCann and Renteria) in OBP.
wow…McCann looking LaRoche-esque there. dammit.
Mac, it just makes perfect sense, but Bobby will never agree with us.
f— Jorge Cantu. That HURTS.
Hartville made some awfully good pitches to McCann.
The Rays had the infield shift on. Otherwise, that would be a hit for Frenchy.
well, when you have a predictable offense, this is what happens. sigh.
Unofortunately, they just got through the “supposed” meat of order. The 9th will be tough.
On the other hand, Mac, now that Bobby sees what the leadoff spot did to Marcus, he will never move Chipper out of that third hole.
Seriously, I bet more than three-quarter of the people on this blog have better baseball knowledge than Chip Carey.
And Chip is by no means the worst of our announcers- remember the ones whose names rhyme with Mutton or More Borg.
Honestly, BJ, we thank you for your effort, but please retire now and don’t ever play for the Braves again.
http://www.ajc.com/sports/content/sports/braves/stories/0625jordan.html
We need Carl Crawford… 🙁
I have wanted the Braves to trade for Crawford for more than a year…
I’m feeling for Thorman. This guy is hitting the mess out of the ball and balls just aren’t dropping. He’s reminding me of Kelly Johnson and his 0- or 1-28 start last year.
we also once had John “The Yannnnnnnnkeeeeeeessssss win” Sterling.
Oh, and don’t forget Billy Sample…the cure all for the sleep deprived.
And we lose to the AL’s second worst team and a guy making his first major league start. And is anyone surprised?
We have only John Schuerholz to thank.
Ah well..atleast we’re used to this feeling by now..
And we made Chad Harville, he of the 6.62 ERA, look like Mo Rivera. Pathetic.
another loss…at least we interruppted the streak with a win.
But when you can’t score off terrible starteing pitchers, what hope is even left?
This isn’t just a bullpen problem now.
Honestly, can’t we give a job to Larry Munson? He’s broadcast for the Braves before and he definitely has the right attitude. Yes, I know he’s eighty-odd, but still.
So he forgets players’ names every once in a while. Our players, for the most part, are utterly forgettable.