The Horrid Box Score

Pitiful.

The Platonic Ideal of the 2014 Braves season was captured tonight in a game they couldn’t win
against a woeful Rangers team that is playing out the string. Excellent starting pitching – this time
Alex Wood, coupled with a complete inability to get the big hit when needed and a suddenly shaky bullpen leads to another loss.

The Braves jumped off to a 1-0 lead in the third, when B. Upton (!) singled, and Andrelton Simmons
(!!) singled him to third. Jason Heyward hit into what should have been called a double play, but the
unpires missed it, so he got the only Braves RBI of the night. JHey then escaped a pick-off, and the
Braves loaded the bases on a Phil Gosselin single and a Freddie Freeman single. But Justin Upton
struck out, and Chris Johnson Regressed the way out of the inning without further scoring.

In the 4th, Wood gave up a walk to Elvis Andrus, a HBP to J. Arencibia, a double to Ryan Rua and a
walk to Robinson Chirinos, but thanks to a pickoff of Andrus on second base, escaped without further
harm.

In the 5th, the Braves again squandered a scoring chance, with Simmons opening the frame with a
single (!!!) and Heyward singling him to third. But Gosselin struck out and Freeman grounded into a
double play.

The Rangers tied the game in the 6th, Arencibia doubled and was pinch run for. AdriA. Beltre singled
to right, and Rua hit a little dribbler to third to score the tying run. Wood got a pop out and a struke
out to strand Beltre at second base.

The Braves last chance was in the 8th. With one out, Freeman walked, and stole second as Upton
Majoris struck out for the third time. Doumit was walked intentionally, and Emilio Bonifacio pinch ran
and stole second. I don’t know why he bothered, as Regression also struck out.

David Carpenter “relieved” Wood in the 8th, and quickly got the first two outs. But consecutive
singles to Beltre, Rua, and Chirinos plated the winning run, and that’s all I need to say about that.

The Braves are three back now from the second wild card spot, with the Brewers between us and the
Pirates. Things are really looking grim now. If we can’t beat a team that was 45 games under .500,
especially with our post-season hanging by a thread, then we probably don’t deserve a berth. Of
course, unless the guys remember how to make contact (Looking at you Justin) with a runner on
third and less than two outs, we won’t have to worry about whether we’re going to deserve a spot,
as we won’t be playing after the regular season.