Chicago is the largest city in Illinois and the third largest city in the United States, although it still hasn’t really accepted that Los Angeles is larger. The name “Chicago” derives from an Indian word meaning “wild garlic”, which residents eat by the handful, thereby leading to the city’s popular nickname “The Windy City”. Chicago’s extensive suburbs, which reach into Indiana and Wisconsin, are known as “Chicagoland” because it was the dumbest name the marketers could think of on short notice.

Chicago is the only city to maintain baseball teams in both the American and National Leagues in every season of both leagues’ existence. The American League team, the White Sox, is best known for selling the World Series in 1919. The National League team, the Cubs, is best known for not winning a World Series since 1908 and not winning the National League since 1945. Fans of both teams are always eager to talk about this, so be sure to ask them about it. The Chicago Bears have not won the Super Bowl since the famous 1985 club, and the Chicago Bulls have never won a title of any sort without Michael Jordan. I’m just pointing this stuff out. They just won a hockey title, but who cares?

“Chicago” is also the name of a band, which has released 32 albums, which mostly just have numbers as titles, as the band has basically given up on quality and decided to emphasize quantity. Chicago is also well known for its Second City improvisational comedy group; for its name, see above about Los Angeles.

Chicago’s best-known item of cuisine is the Chicago-Style, or Deep-Dish, pizza, which was developed when it was determined that the usual types of pizza didn’t contain enough carbohydrates and cholesterol. The Chicago-Style hot dog, meanwhile, was invented by someone from Chicago who had heard about hot dogs but never actually seen one. No known element of Chicago cuisine features vegetables as anything other than a garnish or topping. One of the most popular restaurants in Chicago, which I am not making up, is a Mexican restaurant owned by Skip Bayless’ brother.

During Prohibition, Chicago became home to numerous criminal organizations. The city swiftly became famous for its corruption, violence, and utter disregard for the law. However, the city had already been corrupt and held utter disregard for the law; see above about the 1919 World Series. The economy of Chicago has never really recovered from the 21st Amendment.