ESPN – Braves vs. Marlins – Box Score – July 22, 2008

Ways to know it’s not your day…

1. When the first hit you give up is a three-run homer in the fourth…

2. When you load the bases on walks and the next two men strike out…

3. When you knew that would happen because those two men were Jeff Francoeur, who sucks, and Kelly Johnson, who is in another one of his slumps.

Francoeur, of course, struck out in his own special way in that aborted fourth inning; after the three straight walks to start the inning, he swung at four straight balls at eye level. He sucks so much that the word “suck” is starting to lose all meaning. He is a black hole from which no offense can escape. Both teams were hitless at that point. Charlie Morton didn’t give up a hit until the aforementioned two-out, three-run homer in the fifth, which was, of course, the end of the game for all intents and purposes. Royce Ring walked in a run in the sixth. I issue bases on balls, therefore I am.

The only question was if the Braves would get no-hit by the immortal Henricus VandenHurk. It is my delightful duty to say that they were not, because HVDH was lifted after the fifth, and Chipper Jones had a single in the sixth. Hooray! As I mentioned in the game thread, I am terribly worried that some Braves pitcher is going to take a bat to his position-playing teammates and somehow fail to hit Francoeur.