BREAKING: Frank Wren fired, John Schuerholz back as GM!

Citing “ridiculous” moves, including the trade of two prospects for a centerfielder with a bad back, and the failure to sign Mark Teixeira to a long-term deal “even though he’s willing to talk to that SOB Boras”, Braves President John Schuerholz has fired General Manager Frank Wren and named himself as Interim General Manager, with son Jonathan Schuerholz taking a new position as Executive Assistant General Manager.

“I gave Frank a shot,” said John Schuerholz at an early morning press conference, “but it clearly wasn’t working out. Putting together a bullpen where Manny Acosta has to pitch the eighth inning of a tie game? It was time for a change.” The Braves began play in the 2008 season on Sunday. Wren could not be reached for comment.

On speculation that he was being groomed to replace his father, Jonathan Schuerholz stated that if that were true, it was only because he had
himself in his years as a player in the organization and in recent months in the front office, and it had nothing to do with who his father was. “Right, Daddy?” he added.

45 thoughts on “BREAKING: Frank Wren fired, John Schuerholz back as GM!”

  1. My barber says they also fired Bobby and put Ric Flair in as manager. Seeing as how Ric needed the job. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

  2. This was believable until JS complained about Wren signing Manny Acosta. I seem to remember a couple of JS bullpen disasters.

  3. Nah, the real April Fool’s joke would have been, “Braves use clutch hitting and tight defense to win close game.”

  4. another note about the bullpen…maybe Acosta’s performance last night will be enough for bobby and frank to utilize his options and send him back to richmond when smoltz comes off the DL. I think he could be damn good (bobby thinks he could be a future closer for what its worth) so why waste his arb. clock when we have solid options that we would lose like Resop or Boyer, and we can always recall Acosta upon the first injury. the other option is sending down Bennett but I think the starters have made it clear a long reliever is necessary this year, at least in thier minds

  5. re Spiezio:

    I’m all for second chances, but in my opinion they should be granted once the legal system has run it’s course regarding the initial mistake. His trial is April 7th, and while we’ve evidently received assurances that he won’t face jail time, by law he’s looking at up to two years if convicted.

    So why not wait a week? What’s the hurry — are we preempting a bidding war for the services of a washed up bench player? I seriously doubt it.

  6. He’ll be in the minors at the moment, not the majors so I don’t know that there’s much risk involved. He’ll get time to show he can still play (if he can) and to see where the case goes. If all goes well, he might be some help for the bench. If not, it’s really not much of an issue for the club.

    Or maybe it’s just an April Fools joke too.

  7. Smitty, problem with that one is, what if it actually does happen later on today? confusion and pandemonium.

  8. Marc Schneider – that would have been a better April fools, but far less believable.

    Hampton tripping over the wallet, even if written as a joke probably would have become true by the time the electrons made their way through the superconductor and onto the screen.

  9. hey, baseball america’s organizational rankings are out…

    anyone got a premium account on baseball america to see where we rank?

  10. Just got through listening to the new REM. Pretty blazing in places, fairly raw production, good songs, 11 tunes in 34 minutes. Certainly their best in a while, IMO since “New Adventures in Hi-Fi.”

  11. Bad timing, but without knowledge of a new thread going up when I posted, here was my response about Spiezio vs. Aybar:

    Alex R. Says:
    April 1st, 2008 at 11:02 am

    …and when they suspend LaRussa, he should take his “hateable face” with him.

    But yes, he sould be suspended.

    Spiezio vs. Aybar comparison

    Here’s what I see and my feeling it’s what the Braves see as well.

    Aybar was a guy with problems heaped upon problems. he would disappear for long periods of time, he had a continuous pattern of behavior that frankly made it impossible for the Braves to stick with him.

    Now I don’t know Spiezio personally and I wholeheartedly agree that assault is reprehensible, everyone should, but I have not heard of a history of problems with Spiezio – from what I can tell – it’s an isolated, one time event (not that it doesn’t make it wrong, but I don’t believe he’s ever gotten in trouble before?).

    And Marc, to put this in perspective: would you like the Braves to go ahead and FIRE Bobby Cox today?

    Probably not.

    But Bobby TOO has a one time domestic/assault incident. I haven’t seen Bobby get in trouble for anything like it again and from what I can tell (again, I don’t have all the facts and I have only met Bobby one time) he’s been a good citizen ever since and was before then.

    I think, considering how high profile Bobby Cox is, we would have heard on ESPN if this had ever happened a 2nd time with him. And we all agree Bobby deserved a second chance?

    So why not Spiezio?

  12. Sorry, I HATE re-posting (thanks, Mac), but I really wanted to hammer home the point that if we didn’t give Spiezio a chance, then we should fire Bobby immediately.

  13. Well, Bobby’s wife didn’t press charges. Its entirely possible she just got frightened and called the police but that he never actually touched her. She probably called his best pitch outside and he thought it was right down the middle. We’ve all seen how Bobby can react to such a thing.

  14. Dix, I am with you joking all day on the Wren April Fool’s joke, but I don’t think we should be joking about domestic violence.

  15. That was not a complete joke. Aside from the attempt at humor the content of the comment remains my belief. He got fired up and they had a massive argument and she got scared. She told the police he hit her, and then retracted that statement later. It can go either way, if she calls the cops and she doesn’t say he hit her, then she may have felt silly for calling them and had to say that to save face and regretted it later. Or he really hit her and she just didn’t feel like getting him charged and convicted of the domestic violence charge.

    I don’t know the details surrounding Speizio’s problems, but I do know that we have no idea what really happened with the Cox scenario. You don’t have to fire someone over that unless he really did it and you know it.

  16. I know, and I say things regularly I wish I could pull back.

    Bugt yeah, my point is we shouldn’t fire Bobby & should give Spiezio a 2nd chance.

    Aybar got about 10 chances.

  17. And on a side note: everything can be joked about, the key is to try not to offend people accidentally. If I offended then I apologize. Don’t think that just because I don’t take things too seriously when it isn’t necessary on a message board that I don’t take those issues seriously.

  18. I still don’t see why we couldn’t wait until the trial is adjudicated. I understand the attempt to make judgments about the nature and severity of various crimes, and to try and determine what extent these incidents determine a player’s character. Because you (or I, anyway) have to be able to root for a guy.

    But Spiezio is under a very serious legal cloud at the moment. Nothing would have been lost by waiting until the trial is over.

  19. Well, I think you can argue that Bobby should have been fired–at the time it happened. I don’t remember when it happened but if it was proven to be a case of domestic violence, why not? The fact that his wife retracted the charge made the situation more ambiguous although I suspect that he really did hit her, one time problem or not. What would you say if this was some NBA player that had slipped his girl friend around? Now, obviously, I’m not saying they should fire Cox retroactively. But the situation is different; they have no connection to Spiezio and, as Sansho says, I think they should have at least waited until his legal situation was more clear.

    Second chances are fine but let’s make sure that the guy is really worth giving a second chance. As for saying it’s a one time thing, so what? If I get drunk and kill somebody and I would never do it again, does that make it ok? I’m not saying what Spiezio did is up to that level, obviously, but I just don’t see the rush to sign him and I think it sends a bad signal to sign a guy so quickly who is in legal hot water. (And, I recognize that this isn’t unique to the Braves; I’m sure they signed him because they knew someone else would if they didn’t.)

  20. Fair points, sansho. Now that I think about it, I’d prefer to have let the legal system run its course on this, too, for the sake of appearance, if nothing else.

    I’m sure they signed him because they knew someone else would if they didn’t.

    I assume they signed him because they think he’ll be useful to us and because they believe he’s a safe bet, not because of what other teams do or would do.

  21. I’ll say this — we really do need somebody to play the role that Spiezio would be playing. It’s not out of the realm of possibility that he would help.

  22. Speiszio went to University of Illinois, which is coached by Ron Zook, who once Coached Florida, which is a school in the SEC conference, which is the source of all drug use and crime in America.

  23. Are there any other good April Fools’ jokes on the web.

    I heard that Nestle is renaming the Butterfinger candy bar “The Finger.”

  24. Parish,
    Gmail Custom Time. Log in to Gmail and the link is to the left of “Settings”. Pretty funny.

  25. I’m glad we have the day off, but we need to get into the win column, and quickly. Living & working in Metland has its drawbacks on days like today. I may have a pocketful of comebacks, but we gotta win a game before I run out of them.

    Yes, the REM CD is the SEC of its “recent material” and, strange as it may seem, the weather has little to do with its genuine merit. ;)

    Got it on loop today—34 minutes sure run by fast.

  26. I’m sure if REM hadn’t been able to practice outside in Athens (SEC city) they wouldn’t be nearly as talented musicians as they are today.

  27. Oh well, Stu, I cannot access G-mail from the office. I guess I will just have to keep chatting with you fine folks, or maybe even get some work done.

  28. ububba;
    Thank you for reminding us about Sidd Finch!

    I have a son-in-law who’s sure his dad saw him pitch. But the boy also doesn’t believe we landed on the moon.

    The grandkids are fine, by the way.

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