Citing “ridiculous” moves, including the trade of two prospects for a centerfielder with a bad back, and the failure to sign Mark Teixeira to a long-term deal “even though he’s willing to talk to that SOB Boras”, Braves President John Schuerholz has fired General Manager Frank Wren and named himself as Interim General Manager, with son Jonathan Schuerholz taking a new position as Executive Assistant General Manager.

“I gave Frank a shot,” said John Schuerholz at an early morning press conference, “but it clearly wasn’t working out. Putting together a bullpen where Manny Acosta has to pitch the eighth inning of a tie game? It was time for a change.” The Braves began play in the 2008 season on Sunday. Wren could not be reached for comment.

On speculation that he was being groomed to replace his father, Jonathan Schuerholz stated that if that were true, it was only because he had
himself in his years as a player in the organization and in recent months in the front office, and it had nothing to do with who his father was. “Right, Daddy?” he added.