All Hampton’s body parts still attached; Braves’ inconsequential win streak reaches three

The Official Site of The Atlanta Braves: News: Hampton’s return to mound successful
Hampton’s return to mound successful

Peanut: Hampton threw two innings without noticeable injury, therefore critics (including, I suppose, Internet mockers) have to shut up. My prediction is still that Hampton won’t throw a meaningful inning for the Braves, ever.

73 thoughts on “All Hampton’s body parts still attached; Braves’ inconsequential win streak reaches three”

  1. Still won’t count on him. And won’t get my hopes up at all. Anything he gives is gravy.

    Now that we’re into the month of March — is Dix still standing by his ides of March doomsday prediction for Smoltz? (I’m pretty sure that’s who warned us of the ides.)

  2. If Mike Hampton pitches well for the Atlanta Braves in some meaningful (regular season)games this season, will there be an apology YouTube video?

  3. I think Hampton should get an “apology” or something come the end of the year. But that’s only if he makes like 20+ useful starts.

  4. I’d like to point out that I’m on record as being anti-hope. Anything we get from him isn’t gravy, it’s… chocolate chip ice cream. With whipped cream and cherries.

  5. I seem to remember Hampton hurting himself later than this in spring training 2007, so I’d also hold off on the hope for now.

    And it looks like we have Anderson and Prado to thank for our latest empty victory. In Anderson’s case, that worries me; I don’t want to see him going north. (Actually, I’d like to see him go further north, to Virginia.)

  6. No apology video! He’s doing what we’ve paid him to do for the last three years.

  7. We’re paying him? So that’s where my taxes are going!

    In all seriousness, why don’t we ridicule people who are on workman’s comp? It’s pretty much the same thing, except we are literally paying someone who’s injured and can’t work. I suppose that’s not as fun.

  8. Maybe Mac’s videos are inspiring Hampton to stay healthy. Which raises the question: do we then want Mac to make more videos or to stop making videos?

  9. I vote Mac makes more videos….

    I want to thank all of you for your support for my mom, she pulled through, now wears a pacemaker, and is back to her old cantankerous self….

    and here’s to Braves Baseball, albeit meaningless baseball

  10. We shouldn’t confuse major-league ballplayers (who have multi-year, guaranteed contracts) with regular working people. Different jobs, different types of unions, different everyday realities.

    And in any form of comedy, it’s never funny to pick on the downtrodden. In the grand scheme of things, Hampton does not fit into that category.

    I’m sure Hampton’s trying his hardest to come back & contribute to the team. I’m rooting for him & I hope he does. But these videos don’t come close to crossing any line of taste, and chuckling at them doesn’t preclude the notion of rooting for Mike Hampton.

  11. My point is picking on people are injured isn’t tasteful. I’m in the minority here, so I’ll just respectfully disagree.

  12. It depends, are they adults and were they superficially injured by their own stupidity or arrogance? If so, mock away, in my opinion. All humor has a victim, essentially, and most sane people can take a good-natured and obvious joke at their own expense.

    My sincere congratulations as well, Spitter. If she’s ornery she must be doing pretty good. ;-)

  13. I prefer to think of Mac’s artistic sallies as working some reverse mojo, which will turn Hampton into a 20 game winner due to the karmic backlash against the relentless negativity.

    That being said, I heard Mike Hampton dropped his coat off at the cleraners, and left his arm in it!

    (There, that ought to be good for at least one quality start against the pirates in early May.)


  14. I have a couple more video ideas, but it’s hard to top the helicopter. Actually, I have a plan for a “radio play” and would need 4-5 volunteers who have microphones on their computers. And I’d need to write the darned thing.

  15. Did Rob really compare Hampton with some poor schlub on worker’s comp up there? Wow, sorry I missed being able to react to that real time. That would have been fun. There is never any valid comparison between professional athletes and regular working folk. None.

    Anyway, winning is fun. Even if it isn’t really real.

  16. How about professional athletes are real people who don’t deserve overt and excessive criticism just because of their profession? I’ll be graduating from college in about a year, and just gathering what most of you folks do for a living, I can guarantee that I will be making far less than a lot of you folks. And with that said, I still don’t think Hampton or any professional athlete deserves to be scrutinized as bad as Hampton has been with the only arguments being 1) oh, he makes a lot of money and 2) he’s in the public square, so it’s fair game. People are people, dude.

  17. (Sorry, hit send too quickly)

    Now, let me clarify. I know I’m in the vast minority here, so I’m willing to just leave it at this and shut up, but I’m just as allowed to give my opinion as Mac is to post the videos, and I’d appreciate it if we couldn’t argue about this.

  18. Rob, it’s neither one nor two in Hampton’s case. He is a pitcher who injured himself in the BATTING cage two injuries ago. If you don’t find that humorous you might want to call Dr. Andrews. You might have a blown funny bone.

    And I’m sure you’ll do just fine once you graduate. After all, it’s not what you make, but what you spend.

  19. While I’m not as passionate about it as Rob is, I am on his side. And even though I don’t feel terribly sorry for him, the constant ridicule of Mike Hampton is getting a bit old. He’s not trying to get injured. And even though he gets 15 million whether he plays or not, I think he would rather be playing than sitting on his couch at home. He’s trying to get healthy enough to play and help out the team. That’s all I got to say about that.

    Go Braves.

  20. Of course he would rather be playing. That’s part of the funny.

    “If it weren’t so funny it would be sad, and if it weren’t so sad it would be funny.” Hello!?!

    Nashville built an entire industry on that sentiment.


  21. And now for some Mets news..

    The Mets are saying that Carlos Delgado’s injury is not a big deal. The test he flew back to New York for was just a precautionary move… And keep in mind that the Mets don’t really have a Plan B at first base on their roster. When Delgado was out of the lineup Saturday, utility man Marlon Anderson started in his place — and collided with Ryan Church, with both players getting injured.

    which conjures this audio track

    (nice camera work by the monkey who posted this video, but at least the audio is good)

  22. Mac,

    Again my offer stands for voice work, I’ve got quite the catalogue of voices to offer…

  23. First off, in all seriousness, congratulations to hampton to pitching a quality and healthy 2 innings.

    #9 & #17

    Ron & Seat Painter…That was one of the feelings I got.

    Mac’s videos can now serve not only to entertain us with humor (OK, entertain almost everyone…) but maybe some sort of reverse mojo thing which would be great. Double win!

    #20 & #21

    Rob, I think you make a very credible point and your heart is in the right place, I just respectfully disagree from the standpoint that this man has made a ton of dough, is a public figure and is just as fair game for “humorous pokes” as say Brittney Spears, Paris Hilton, any of the presidential candidates, any ridiculous world leaders say from Iran, Russia, Cuba or North Korea, or even our own here.

    The bottomline is Mac is doing something with his videos and making fun of a public figure the way millions of entertainment, sports and politics blogs and video sites do a million times a day. Half the stuff on YouTube is making fun of someone.

    It’s partly why I am so defensive about my “pokes” at Andruw. We’ll have our celebrities or athletes that provide us fodder or have given us ample reason to. Sure, some may disagree with Mac poking at Hampton or me poking at Andruw, but it’s fair game.


    Cary, now if only Delgado would have a massive spring training run in with David Wright , Carlos Beltran and Jose Reyes putting all 3 of those guys on the shelf, that would be even better.

  24. So far the Braves and Bobby Cox seem to be leaning heavily toward having Kelly Johnson bat leadoff. This must greatly saddened Brian Jordan, who said Kotsay, being a veteran, was the “no-brainer” to bat leadoff this year.

  25. Firmly straddling the fence, I agree with everyone. :) I think Hampton has gotten a lot of unfair criticism. He didn’t try to get hurt; it wasn’t from doing anything stupid and, regardless of how much he makes, I’m sure he doesn’t enjoy not playing.

    On the other hand, as Alex said, Hampton is a public figure making a ridiculous amount of money for playing a game. I think he’s fair game for some humor within reasonable bounds of taste. I did think that a lot of the criticism of Andruw last year–implying that his hitting problems was due to a lack of character–was unfair. But if a ballplayer can’t take it, he has no business being in the public eye. Plus, it’s very unlikely that he reads stuff like this and if he does, he shouldn’t. And if he was in New York or Boston, it would be ten times worse.

    But, remember what I said a couple of days ago–Hampton wins 18, two more in the World Series and wins the Series with a PH home run in Game 7 off Papelbon, driving in Martin Prado, who had pinch-hit for Kelly Johnson and gotten hit. Disgruntled Red Sox fans throw Papelbon into Boston Harbor and immediately begin whining again about how long it’s been since they won a World Series. :)

  26. if we cant have some fun with a guy like hampton, whats left? the sensitivity cops are really cracking down………………….even poor working schlubs can make for pretty good sport. i once saw a fat painter fall off a ladder and break his ankle because he wouldnt drop the sandwich he was holding. that one kept us laughing for weeks.

  27. By the way, I think the Braves are in great shape this year since Steve Phillips predicted the Mets are better and would win. If you remember, last year, he predicted the Braves would win the division and the Mets would finish third. I figure this can only be a good sign for the Braves.

  28. If it helps, I’m less making fun of Hampton than I am the people who assure us that he’s rock solid going to be in the rotation and there’s nothing to worry about.

  29. I sort of agree that, generally, it’s in poor taste to mock someone for being injured, regardless of what tax bracket they’re in or how public their persona is.

    That said, I think if I were in Hampton’s situation and saw these videos, I’d probably laugh about them myself (especially the one with the Lockhart cameo), so it’s hard for me to get too worked up about them. Nobody’s calling his character into question or anything like that.

    Just my two cents.

  30. Immediately after making that prediction, Steve Phillips pulled up short and fell to the floor clutching his calf and yelling, “My hamstring!”

    When asked why, he responded in a whisper, “Shh! This way I won’t run into Carlos Delgado.”

  31. #34

    I want to echo something Stu said about Hampton’s character. I actually do think that unlike say a Carl Pavano, who’s found every single tiny reason not to pitch, say a hangnail, this has not been the case with Hampton.

    I do fully believe this man is a fierce competitor who desperately wants to be out there pitching. Cox’s genuine emotion after Mike’s 2 innings the other day confirms what many of us believe about Mike’s character.

    That being said, he has had some ridiculous (and yes, frustrating) injuries, makes a fortune (therefore, eating a major chunk of payroll) and is a public figure.

    It’s probably why I let Mac handle the hampton comedy and I would feel too guilty picking on him. I feel ZERO guilt picking on Andruw. IMHO, I feel he’s done enough to deserve ridicule, bcexause his problems have had not nearly as much to do with injuries out of his control.

  32. As I said, I don’t have a problem with people making fun of players missing a lot of games. But people say so and so doesn’t want to play and is looking for excuses not to, like Pavano. I don’t understand that–why wouldn’t a baseball player not want to play baseball? It’s not like he is digging ditches. Presumably, he likes playing baseball. It’s sort of like saying a guy with erectile dysfunction is looking for an excuse not to have sex. Some people obviously have a higher pain threshold than others but I don’t really understand why someone would want to not play. That seems to be something people say when they get frustrated that a guy is injured. We even hear it about Chipper these days even though he averaged something like 157 games for the first 8 or 9 years and was known to play through injuries that would have kept most guys out for weeks. All of a sudden, in the last few years, Chipper doesn’t want to play?

    As for Andruw, I agree with Alex to some extent that he had other problems besides injuries. I was never as big an Andruw fan as others; I think his offense was always overrated and he was never a very disciplined hitter. But I wouldn’t discount the injuries as a large part of his problem last year. No one was complaining about his approach in 2005-2006. Now, when he stops hitting in 2007, all of a sudden, it’s because he’s stubborn or lacks the proper demeanor or doesn’t care. Yet, at the same time, he played almost every game, even when hurt and always busted his ass, at least in the field. I have a hard time equating not hitting with not caring, which seemed to be what a lot of people were saying about Andruw last year.

  33. It’s sort of like saying a guy with erectile dysfunction is looking for an excuse not to have sex.

    I did not see that analogy coming.

  34. plus once again Andruw has gained another 15 lbs this offseason, he deserves any ridicule just because of the way he takes care of himself

  35. Don’t care about Andruw anymore, but I will say this: He didn’t miss too many games for us and, with the exception of 2007, he was very good for the Atlanta Braves.

  36. Sorry, but I subscribe more to #39 than I do to #40.

    And with that extra weight and ‘Druw now being in L.A. with Furcal, the “In N’ Out Burgers with drinks from Furcal” jokes will just keep flowing.

  37. @41…

    we won’t miss Andruw as much as people think.

    gimme a full year of Tex over Andruw anyday…

    and if it’s that bad, we’ll bring up Schafer and let him play for awhile (he has GREAT defense and his offense will only grow…put him in the 8 hole for awhile and let him go).

    I like Kotsay’s game and think that, if he can play 130 games and let Blanco/Anderson play the other 32 we will probably win the division.

  38. I agreed with letting Andruw go, especially since I’m not sure even a “normal” Andruw year would be worth that money to the Braves. But all things equal, I would still rather have Andruw in CF than anyone else the Braves are likely to have, at least in the immediate future. It would be perfect if he could hit sixth or seventh. Given the payroll issues, the Braves clearly couldn’t afford to bring Andruw back. Kotsay is in an incredibly difficult position because, even if he is healthy, there is no way he can really replace Andurw Jones.
    I guarantee that every time a ball drops in centerfield, we will be moaning and saying, “Andruw would have gotten it.”

  39. Had I read Marc’s post first, I would have just said, “Amen,” and wouldn’t have bitched about you guys picking on my favorite centerfielder ever.

  40. wow, so much negativity. It’s spring, the grass is green, the weather is warmer, Hampton made it through two innings looking good, and the Braves are playing baseball. It doesn’t get much better (even if it is spring training). Cheer up will ya!

  41. With the news of his hamstring injury, it seems like a good time to make fun of Chipper. Anybody still want to trade away Lillibridge now?

  42. andruw is truly one of a kind. i dont think i’ve seen another player with his on-field demeanor, i remember when he was in his first season and was doing EVERYTHING wrong, bobby was always pissed at him and once said “i cant fine him anymore……….he doesnt have any money left”. so he benched him for a few games but couldnt keep him there. over the years i’ve been as frustrated by him as anyone but overall, i’d rather have him than any other centerfielder in the last ten years. now i kinda feel like a mimber of my family(or at lest a very good friend) has been exiled to the G.D. Dodgers………… if the braves cant or wont pay the going rate for premium players maybe we should admit that we’re really just the marlins and give it up.

  43. I did mean to be glib, which is probably bad, but my above post just meant I’d still trade Lillibridge depending on the return, Chipper’s fragility notwithstanding.

  44. @46 “I guarantee that every time a ball drops in centerfield, we will be moaning and saying, “Andruw would have gotten it.””


  45. #54

    Good point! I will also really miss Andruw’s 6 week long slumps and 0 for 4’s with 4 K’s while hitting from the 4th or 5th slot.

  46. Kotsay Reverse Mojo:

    ‘Andruw would have gotten it!’ Lather, Rinse, Repeat, all the way to the Gold Glove.

    Andruw would have gotten it! Join in, everybody, it’s fun!

  47. #55 yep, kotsay will be so much better…

    boyer is looking absolutel great right now against the mets btw!

  48. @57,

    People would have a field day with Bailey’s name if he started doing a Chuck James imitation.


    Andruw wouldn’t need to be hitting fourth or fifth on this team. I could live with him hitting sixth (assuming that he was more like pre-2007 Andruw). But you aren’t going to pay $18 million for a number 6 hitter.

    My point is that people are going to have to forget about Andruw. He isn’t here and it’s not fair to expect Kotsay to be Andruw. Plus, even Andruw didn’t catch every single ball. I can just imagine balls going out of the park and people saying Andruw would have jumped over the wall and caught it.

  49. But Andruw was killing the Braves from the 4th spot last year and Bobby didn’t move him until way too late.

    Kotsay will at least be out of the way from the beginning and I doubt even Kotsay will have 6 long weeks of endless 4 K nights; plus, if Kotsay even does that for 2 weeks, he’ll likely get bumped.

    The reason we had to put up with so many awful Andruw slumps was because Bobby wasn’t going to remove his expensive big name. Kotsay is cheap. If he sucks, someone else gets a shot.

    I won’t stand down off my point that Andruw killed the Braves for many, many weeks last year and was a MAJOR contributor to our 2007 demise.

  50. #64

    I can definitely agree w/ that, ububba.

    Now Rob Reiner & Alyssa Milano can curse out loud everytime Andruw strikes out, rather than us.

  51. Anyway, on another point, I noticed that the Braves and Francoeur have not agreed on a long-term contract. I suspect the Braves are still not sure what they have and are reluctant to commit until they do. People are projecting him to have a breakout year, but I think he is a lot less projectible than McCann. They pretty much know what they have with Brian.

  52. Marc,

    It sounds like Francoeur’s people are trying to get him a deal similar to David Wright’s, which won’t happen, since Francoeur hasn’t shown the same overall hitting abillity as Wright, but it looks like he definitely wants more than McCann.

  53. That would be great, Dan. I hope you’re right, but I’ll take the under (and hope for the over).

  54. @68,

    I agree Justin. Francoeur seems more of a high risk-high reward type and I think the Braves are reluctant to take the risk yet, especially if they think Heyward might ultimately be the better player, which is what BP seems to project.

  55. if francoeur ever gets even close to his potential, he’d be a bargain to sign now. you gotta gamble a little bit. if they nickle and dime him now, when he turns into a rocket-armed .320-35-125 guy what will they do? shrug their shoulders and walk away muttering “we cant afford him”?

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