To paraphrase My Cousin Vinny’s opening statement: everything that happened in that game was crap.

We had Bad Charlie Morton; with Ronald Acuña Jr. getting a much-needed day off, and Austin Riley still day-to-day, the offense was down its starting right fielder, third baseman, and catcher, and the offense went back to its punchless status quo in meekly surrendering to Javier Assad and the Cubs. Admittedly, Assad is having a great year, but still.

The one good thing about the game: Ray Short got another two hits, and the lone RBI for the good guys.

Flush this one down the furthest memory hole you can find, everybody.