5) Strategic modernity

– Johan Camargo putting the “super” in “super-sub.” The prospect of shredding opposing lineups with a ‘pen loaded with talented prospects. It’ll be nice to see the Braves maybe catching up to other teams when it comes to getting the most out of the roster.

4) Family reunions

– I was feeling down about McCann and especially Markakis coming back, but Donny found the silver lining. Just think, an entire world of incest jokes to explore, should things go south with this team.

3) The Bringer of Rain

– From Pensacola, Florida…at a weight of 210 pounds…he is your former American League Most Valuable Player of the Yeeeeeeeear… … …JOOOOOOOOSHHHHHHHHH DONNNNNNALLLLLLLLLDDDDSOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. Yes, I’m excited. If he stays healthy, he’s most likely going to be a lot of fun to watch.

2) Chief Nocahoma, gaz, DG et al

– A rebuild that failed to climax in an offseason payroll increase is the equivalent of a World Series ring for these guys. Whether you were right all along or if management/labor conflict just happened to cast a pall on this offseason, we’ll never know. But a win’s a win. Take a lap, boys.

1) Duh, POWER RANKINGS

– You missed them, and you know it.

Premature POWER RANKING of the offseason’s biggest losers:

5) Craig Mish

– I’m sure we’ve all learned our lesson and will never again put our faith in baseball Twitter “insiders,” am I right? Hello? Is this thing on?

4) To-do lists

– Upgrade RF, starting pitching, the relief corps? Nah, bro. Gonna just chill here at my local Tim Horton’s, politely sippin’ my Labatt Blue and listening to the Tragically Hip, eh?

3) Free agents and just stuff happening in general

– Good for Patrick Corbin and a few other guys. This tweet still holds true:

2) The no-politics rule

– Sorry, Mac. I get what you were going for. And to be fair, we’ve been able to have an ongoing discussion about the balance of power in MLB without it descending into thermonuclear partisan warfare, even despite Sam! Pretty good, Braves Journal! What I’m getting at here is something perhaps even darker: a lot of sports fandom is escape from reality. But it’s not just that there’s nowhere to run from the politics that saturates baseball’s offseason, it’s that Braves fans can’t even avoid the EXACT pitched battles, the EXACT stage dramas where U.S. politics today are happening. Fans want to think about what’s the next step after Josh Donaldson. But what they get to think about are taxpayer boondoggles, transit nightmares, fraught racial dynamics — the very stuff most normal people desperately want a break from having to think about when they turn on a ball game. Fans even get slick political ads on social media — let’s call them what they are — deploying poor Walter Banks as a human PR shield. LOL, what an offseason! At the end of day, you’ve got to acknowledge the truth. A no-politics rule is probably necessary to maintain order on a blog with even a small readership. But the biggest beneficiary of enforced silence on matters of politics is ALWAYS the status quo. And boy, can that come back to bite Braves fans. Which leads me to…

1) Baseball fans everywhere

– In order to do their part to rein in free agent spending — something that’s in the Braves management’s long-term interests — the Braves are willing to risk not keeping up with other NL East teams and missing the playoffs upon completing a rebuild. So, as a fan, what short-term loss are YOU willing to incur in order to ensure that YOUR long-term interests are protected? I am dead quasi-serious when I propose changing this website to (WHATEVER TEAM THAT SIGNS HARPER) Journal, just to do our part to realign owners’ incentives. Fans nationwide should do the same. Part of me wants to see millions upon millions of fans spend money on, like, the White Sox or the Padres or whoever wins the Harper sweepstakes for one season. Even the Phillies. Owners are breaking their obligation to fans. Fans should feel no obligation to stick with their hometown franchises. You’ve got power. Consider using it.