ESPN – Braves vs. Nationals – Box Score – April 30, 2008

This team couldn’t medal at the Special Olympics.

First off, they once again let some random guy — in this case, Shawn Hill — look like Tom Seaver, scratching only one run off him in eight innings. Jair Jurrjens did great, going seven, but gave up a run right after the Braves had taken a 1-0 lead. He is, however, mostly blameless for this latest debacle.

The actual loss is on Bobby’s head, 100 percent. The Braves got a run in the twelfth to take a 2-1 lead. However, they did this after Bobby pinch-ran Martin “The Gazelle” Prado for Teixeira, which was worth absolutely nothing as Prado wound up scoring from third on a Kotsay single. What is more, after Gotay (playing second for KJ) walked to move Kotsay into scoring position, Bobby stupidly let Manny Acosta, who had already thrown two innings in which he had the approximate control of an epileptic howler monkey, hit for himself.

Unsurprisingly, Acosta walked the first man in the next inning. Unsurprisingly, Prado then pulled one of his special no-error horrible misplays — I think that these must now be known as “Prados” — to turn a potential double play into a single, first and second, nobody out. Unsurprisingly, Acosta threw away a sacrifice bunt attempt and the chance to get any out. Unsurprisingly, Acosta walked the next guy on five pitches to tie the game. Unsurprisingly, Buddy Carlyle was unable to pitch out of a bases loaded, none out situation. Surprisingly, I haven’t thrown anything yet.

We aren’t going to win many games where Chipper, McCann, and Francoeur go a combined 0-15. Kotsay did his part with three hits. Escobar had a couple of hits, and so did Teixeira, and Blanco played the leadoff man to a T, a hit and two walks.