If Mets Hired Frank Wren and They Made a Movie About It Game Thread

Posted by Alex Remington (Another Alex R.) | Apr 17, 2015 | Game Threads 2015 | 105

Some of my favorite threads are the ones where we talk about who we’d cast in a fake movie. So:

If I were the Wrenâ€™s I would try to troll the Braves as hard as I could for the forseeable future. The fact that this story came from a Wren is pretty hilarious. -gaz, April 17th, 2015 at 9:49 am

Imagine a world in which Wren gets the Phillies or Mets GM job. They couldâ€™ve just fired him, but no, they had to try to ruin his careerâ€¦ -Adam R, April 17th, 2015 at 10:12 am

So, it’s a classic revenge movie. He won 96 games for them, and they fire him a year later. He’s not getting mad. He’s getting even. He is…

DIRTY WREN

The Clubhouses:
Melvin “B.J.” Upton, Jr.: Derek Luke
Justin Upton: Rob Brown
David Wright: Jeremy Renner
Terry Collins: William Forsythe
Fredi Gonzalez: Miguel Ferrer

The Executive Lounges:
Frank Wren: William Fichtner
John Hart: Ed Harris
John Schuerholz: Michael Gambon
Fred Wilpon: Beau Bridges

Featuring Michael Imperioli as Rob Manfred, and Clint Eastwood as Bud Selig.

Edward suggests Richard Gere for Wren. Any other cast suggestions? We’ve got a whole lot of roster spots to fill!

About The Author

Alex Remington (Another Alex R.)

105 Comments

Stu on April 17, 2015 at 1:43 pm

Paul Walker as Dan Uggla.
gaz on April 17, 2015 at 2:01 pm

Not sure how a Brit ends up as Scherholtz… I’d go Harrison Ford or Alec Baldwin.

Also William Shattner as Bud Selig but really William Shattner. I always imagined Selig’s last couple years in office as him drunk and hitting on interns in zero fucks given mode.
Game, Blauser on April 17, 2015 at 2:03 pm

Freddie Freeman: Adam Driver
EY Jr.: Kevin Hart
Chipper Jones: Liam Neesons! or Joel McHale maybe?
Mike N. on April 17, 2015 at 2:04 pm

Haven’t commented in a while, but I’ve always thought Kevin Spacey would make a good Schuerholz of the 90’s. So if there are any substantial flashbacks to that time then I’d vote Spacey.

Also, he’s Taiwanese, but the guy who played Kato in the Green Hornet remake could be a good Kawakami maybe? And hell, give Jason Sudeikis a shot as Derek Lowe, see what kind of magic he could work.
Edward on April 17, 2015 at 2:12 pm

Sandra Bullock as Kim Hudson, Julianne Moore as Alex Wood’s mom, Pete Rose as himself, Benicio Del Toro as Carlos Tosca, Carl Weathers as TP, Tom Wilkinson as Tony DeMacio, and James Franco as Jordan Schafer.
gaz on April 17, 2015 at 2:12 pm

I’m in on Carl Weathers as TP
Edward on April 17, 2015 at 2:12 pm

And can we please get Daniel Day Lewis as Randy Johnson?!?
Game, Blauser on April 17, 2015 at 2:15 pm

I’d like to cast Marky Mark Wahlberg as Uggla.
Edward on April 17, 2015 at 2:16 pm

Ok, but since we already signed Paul Walker to the film he’ll have to play Heyward.
Adam R on April 17, 2015 at 2:19 pm

David Spade as DOB
Chris Farley as Peanut
Seat Painter on April 17, 2015 at 2:22 pm

Of course – got to have:

Corbin Bernsen as Chris Johnson
MikeM on April 17, 2015 at 2:22 pm

Fredi should be played by George Laird in his debut role.

And the dad from Modern Family should play Chip Caray.
Rob Cope on April 17, 2015 at 2:25 pm

And the dad from Modern Family should play Chip Caray.

Both are clueless and have zero command of the English language.
Game, Blauser on April 17, 2015 at 2:26 pm

Seann William Scott as Dorn. Nailed it!
*slams bat into dugout cooler*
Mike N. on April 17, 2015 at 2:33 pm

The kid from Game of Thrones that everyone hated as Pete Kozma.
coop on April 17, 2015 at 2:34 pm

You know you’re old when you can’t tell the actors without a scorecard.
braves14 on April 17, 2015 at 2:35 pm

Freddie Freeman: Devin Ratray (the guy who played Buzz in Home Alone)
Smitty on April 17, 2015 at 2:35 pm

@1

That’s funny.

Chipper on Twitter would play himself.
braves14 on April 17, 2015 at 2:41 pm

Bobby Cox: Liam Neeson
Johnny on April 17, 2015 at 2:42 pm

This is only going to get better as the season unfolds and the REAL Braves start showing up. It’s not like we are going to want to talk about the baseball being ‘played’.
braves14 on April 17, 2015 at 2:45 pm

Nick Markakis: Zach Galifanakis
Edward on April 17, 2015 at 2:50 pm

@17, That is perfect. If anyone needs to be convinced: http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsR/14332-8695.gif
braves14 on April 17, 2015 at 2:51 pm

Chip Caray will be played by a chimpanzee.
Alex Remington (Another Alex R.) on April 17, 2015 at 3:07 pm

@22, here is the canonical comparison:
braves14 on April 17, 2015 at 3:20 pm

Roger McDowell: Dan Akroyd
Rusty S. on April 17, 2015 at 3:23 pm

Chuck Norris as Evan Gattis.
braves14 on April 17, 2015 at 3:36 pm

Jason Heyward: Denzel Washington
oldtimer? on April 17, 2015 at 3:58 pm

Akroyd as Mcdowell and Apollo Creed as TP are the best so far.
JohnWDB on April 17, 2015 at 4:18 pm

B.J. Upton should be played by Dave Chapelle. Justin Upton by Tom Lister, Jr. Chapelle could really nail the post-called-strike-three hysterics of Melvin.
Smitty on April 17, 2015 at 4:30 pm

Chris Johnson- Corbin Bersen
Alex Remington (Another Alex R.) on April 17, 2015 at 4:36 pm

Also, Sam Holbrook is pissing everyone off in the Cubs-Brewers game right now, so nothing new there.

Savion Glover could play Andrelton Simmons. And I like the thought of Dane DeHaan as Craig Kimbrel.
Rusty S. on April 17, 2015 at 4:44 pm

@31 – 3 riots and you’re out, right?
W.C.G. on April 17, 2015 at 4:49 pm

Christopher Mintz-Plasse as blogging hero Alex Remington
Alex Remington (Another Alex R.) on April 17, 2015 at 5:25 pm

@33, endorsed.
tobi24 on April 17, 2015 at 6:26 pm

Terry Pendleton could also be played by Forest Whitaker
http://wiki.dee-nee.com/w/images/7/7a/PendletonBraves2.JPG
http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/section/movies/filmography/8/WireImage_843276.jpg
td on April 17, 2015 at 6:51 pm

Maybe Gerald Laird can take acting lessons and play Fredi.
coop on April 17, 2015 at 7:21 pm

Well.
JohnWDB on April 17, 2015 at 7:25 pm

Insurmountable deficit
Dan on April 17, 2015 at 7:26 pm

Is there a reason the pitcher can’t catch a pop fly in the front of the mound? Freeman almost missed that.
JohnWDB on April 17, 2015 at 7:31 pm

Pressure!
JohnWDB on April 17, 2015 at 7:33 pm

DEFENSE = PRESSURED
spike on April 17, 2015 at 7:40 pm

Well that sucked
coop on April 17, 2015 at 7:40 pm

Home run derby, Julio?
krussell on April 17, 2015 at 7:40 pm

Blue Jays are playing the game the wrong way.
'Rissa on April 17, 2015 at 7:41 pm

Julio isn’t very Julio-ish tonight.

Edit: Well, that play looked very Julio-ish.
spike on April 17, 2015 at 7:41 pm

Love that move to first.
JohnWDB on April 17, 2015 at 7:41 pm

What a bullshit HBP.

But a great pickoff move!
Rusty S. on April 17, 2015 at 7:43 pm

Ball don’t lie.
Dan on April 17, 2015 at 7:43 pm

Whatever the rule changes are to challenges this year, it’s a huge improvement. 2014, with the managers waddling out to the umpires and standing around waiting for a signal from the dugout, and seemingly for every other play, was just painful.
coop on April 17, 2015 at 7:45 pm

Neither CJ makes that play.
JohnWDB on April 17, 2015 at 7:53 pm

This turf is like fly paper
'Rissa on April 17, 2015 at 7:54 pm

LOL Blue Jays!
JohnWDB on April 17, 2015 at 7:55 pm

These really are the bad news Braves
coop on April 17, 2015 at 8:01 pm

Jace is fighting it at the plate, says Captain Obvious obviously.
JohnWDB on April 17, 2015 at 8:02 pm

@54 Thanks, Captain Obvious, says the guy who piles on after you’ve self-deprecated
Edward on April 17, 2015 at 8:04 pm

Um can Devin Travis play 2nd for us?
JohnWDB on April 17, 2015 at 8:07 pm

Fok
Dan on April 17, 2015 at 8:07 pm

Where’s the exit from the 5-0 Braves’ bandwagon?
'Rissa on April 17, 2015 at 8:08 pm

We’ve already come back from two deficits tonight. This may be pushing our luck.
JohnWDB on April 17, 2015 at 8:31 pm

Markakis is basically a hit factory
JohnWDB on April 17, 2015 at 8:39 pm

Wheeeeeee!
'Rissa on April 17, 2015 at 8:40 pm

Well, Simmons, way to prove me wrong. Maybe they CAN come back and tie the game three times.
coop on April 17, 2015 at 8:40 pm

Andrelton, that will do.
'Rissa on April 17, 2015 at 8:43 pm

Jace!! Wow!
JohnWDB on April 17, 2015 at 8:43 pm

Wheeeeeeeee! Triples!
coop on April 17, 2015 at 8:44 pm

Jace!
'Rissa on April 17, 2015 at 8:50 pm

This is getting really ridiculous, Julio.
braves14 on April 17, 2015 at 8:51 pm

Donaldson is killing us.
coop on April 17, 2015 at 8:52 pm

This is getting old, Julio. Fredi, manage please.
Smitty on April 17, 2015 at 8:55 pm

Fredi is eating nachos on the toilet. How much longer is he going to be allowed to “manage.”
braves14 on April 17, 2015 at 8:56 pm

The pen should be fresh after a day off.
krussell on April 17, 2015 at 8:58 pm

Fastball velocity is concerning.
JohnWDB on April 17, 2015 at 8:58 pm

Fredi is building Julio’s confidence for the stretch run. He has to learn he can pitch out of trouble.

Or he’s playing angry birds in the dugout
coop on April 17, 2015 at 9:01 pm

Nice escape, Julio. It’s Cody time, Fredi.
Joelk on April 17, 2015 at 9:02 pm

Smitty @ 70, you made me laugh out loud!
JohnWDB on April 17, 2015 at 9:17 pm

Good decision here by fredi to let Avilan pitch to the bottom of the order since it’s such a tough RHB lineup. Avilan isn’t of much use otherwise
coop on April 17, 2015 at 9:20 pm

Merry Christmas.
coop on April 17, 2015 at 9:38 pm

Whew.

Runs please.
JohnWDB on April 17, 2015 at 9:40 pm

Cody just toying with them
coop on April 17, 2015 at 9:41 pm

I’m starting to like this Gomes guy.
'Rissa on April 17, 2015 at 9:41 pm

Wow, was not expecting us to take two different leads tonight. I’m loving this low-expectations/being-surprised theme to this season.
JohnWDB on April 17, 2015 at 9:43 pm

Going going goooooomes
'Rissa on April 17, 2015 at 9:48 pm

FREDDIE!! What a game!
JohnWDB on April 17, 2015 at 9:48 pm

Hit factory
coop on April 17, 2015 at 9:48 pm

I’ve always liked that Freeman kid.
Dean on April 17, 2015 at 9:52 pm

Freeman crushed that and made it look effortless
JohnWDB on April 17, 2015 at 9:54 pm

Thank god for insurance
'Rissa on April 17, 2015 at 9:55 pm

Apparently Jim Johnson is human. I’m not sure how I feel about this.
'Rissa on April 17, 2015 at 9:58 pm

This game…
JohnWDB on April 17, 2015 at 9:58 pm

Yes this is not a hopeful development
landogarner on April 17, 2015 at 10:00 pm

Anyone else getting that familiar sinking feeling?
JohnWDB on April 17, 2015 at 10:04 pm

It’s that barves bend-but-don’t-break defense
coop on April 17, 2015 at 10:04 pm

Roll over and play dead, Toronto. Don’t you know when to quit?
'Rissa on April 17, 2015 at 10:06 pm

Inning over, but Reitsma Room is gone. I hope Grilli has more confidence right now than I do.
landogarner on April 17, 2015 at 10:10 pm

Let’s go Grilli. No drama please 1-2-3
JohnWDB on April 17, 2015 at 10:15 pm

Oh God please don’t remind me of Reitsma
landogarner on April 17, 2015 at 10:17 pm

Yes! Now we start another win streak.
JohnWDB on April 17, 2015 at 10:17 pm

Whoooo!!!
'Rissa on April 17, 2015 at 10:17 pm

I feel like we should get a week’s worth of wins for that game. All that effort for one win seems cruel.
coop on April 17, 2015 at 10:18 pm

That was one heck of a game. I may not be able to survive many more like it. Whew.
braves14 on April 17, 2015 at 10:20 pm

Cody Martin’s first MLB win.
JohnWDB on April 17, 2015 at 10:24 pm

We won this game bc of Johnny Gomes’ vet’ran presents. And his homer.
oldtimer? on April 17, 2015 at 10:29 pm

On the Toronto radio feed they were talking about what a great person and presence Gomes is and that he keeps the clubhouse in line, no bitching about playing time…

I don’t really believe in this team yet but I am having more fun then I thought I would.
landogarner on April 17, 2015 at 10:29 pm

@101 lol
Seat Painter on April 17, 2015 at 10:40 pm

Recapped.